Chilling: “I love the Inertia!”

What's your special secret?

Howdy,

I’m a youngish man who enjoys a little BeachGrit now and then and I thought I might offer up my inconsequential two cents.

I’m a lifelong surfer from the east coast of the USA, probably not any good, but I’ve had and do have my moments and I feel like intellectually I’m decently invested.

After much internal deliberation and consideration, I have decided, much to my distress, that I love The Inertia… fuck. It is to me an essential cog in the gears that churns out the addicted and devoted, the jaded and enlightened, the modern decent son of a bitch.

Riding waves has been and continues to be the source of most of my satisfaction and conflict for a long time now. Listening and reading about Chas’ stance on The Inertia (see, “I want to sink that piece of shit!“) has got me thinking again about the industry and the idea of surfing and how it reflects on riding across waves.

After much internal deliberation and consideration, I have decided, much to my distress, that I love The Inertia… fuck.

It is to me an essential cog in the gears that churns out the addicted and devoted, the jaded and enlightened, the modern decent son of a bitch. The Inertia is almost a sort of purgatory for the hopeful masses of shit-stroking, Wavestorming yuppies, the pathetic responsible goo we were all molded from.

It’s like the choice of cups from Indiana Jones and the Last Crusade. Amid all the articles about nutritional guides to boost your paddling and the list of the five best SUPs to really shred, there is a faint and haunting message…”this is all bullshit, but keep digging and it’s kinda worth it in the end.”

That sight is a beautiful trap for partially initiated, the half-assing yuppie that loves his tan, the inland kook all adorned in his dime store puka shell. The content pumped out of that website daily is filled with the thickest turds that truly only someone who is totally and completely committed could and want to keep themselves from drowning in that light beershits of a swamp.

The strong survive to another equally bullshit filled world of what surfing really truly is, its nuances and its importance. The rest get Laird, volume calculators and boardshort guides. Those who save themselves get Litmus, Surfers Journal, Tom Curran, and told to beat it on the North Shore.

We need The Inertia more than it needs us and we probably need ourselves even less!

Also, I’m not quite sure what Chas would do without it.

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samwaters
samwaters
9 years ago

Don’t have much time now–but–I think the Inertia’s real mission is to try and ‘cash in on surfing’–more web hits equals more $$–so they try to keep their readers in ‘their place’–to make them feel that they are not good enough to really enjoy surfing yet. I believe they want to keep their readers feeling inferior (so the readers keep coming back to the Inertia for a little false pep talk in their next post). — Instead of telling the readers the truth–that whatever their skill level is–just paddle out and catch some waves–have some fun–and you’ll be a success as a surfer.. ..

RB2
RB2
9 years ago

I hate the inertia.
But BeachGrit, in a different kind of way, doesnt rise much above the Inertia.

Chas Smith
Chas Smith
9 years ago
Reply to  RB2

In what way?

RB2
RB2
9 years ago
Reply to  Chas Smith

low brow and just like the US Surf Mags spent a lot of time using kind of incomprehensible prose saying little, in addition they used incomprehensible fonts to expand on that same goal.

Although you do have some good articles where the above does not apply, the whole vibe here your creating seems very crude and unintelligible to some great degree…and the pictures dont make up for what the verbiage lacks!

shootsthen
shootsthen
9 years ago

Some strange betting habits there. I’ll bet that sharksttack575 is a weirdo.

Mapski
Mapski
9 years ago

Any guesses as to how many people are buried in that guys back yard?

Bleach'd Git
Bleach'd Git
9 years ago

‘We need “5 ways to rent the van life for your next road trip” more than it needs us.’
Amen. Real talk right there.

blumpkin mung
blumpkin mung
9 years ago
Reply to  Bleach'd Git

I one up ‘The Van Life’ story with ‘Colorado River Shaper Zack Hughes Talks River Surfing and A Brand New Board Sport’. I won’t bring up the ones about how good the ukelele feels, the importance of changing the Spicolli stereotype or the one about happily wearing foot muffins in Tahiti. By God! We do need these more than they need us.

Adam H
Adam H
9 years ago
Reply to  Bleach'd Git

You guys are rough! Lol, probably well deserved, but I totally agree that no human should ever be subjected to the swill churned out on the inertia. I guess the joke was that maybe it serves a purpose in acting as quicksand to keep the yuppies circulating in their own bullshit rather than mucking up our fun. If that makes any sense🤠🤙

DrunkenAngel
DrunkenAngel
9 years ago
Reply to  Adam H

M888888888 if you gotta eggsplain it in the comments something went wrong

Adam H
Adam H
9 years ago
Reply to  DrunkenAngel

Agreed!

Bleach'd Git
Bleach'd Git
9 years ago
Reply to  Adam H

I admire your optimism fellow, but this isn’t some exclusive club. We’re all just a pack of cunts! Negatron laughs at autistic kids!
https://uploads.disquscdn.c…

Mariano Landa
Mariano Landa
9 years ago
Reply to  Bleach'd Git

He laughs at ’em? So spitting was going too far?

Bleach'd Git
Bleach'd Git
9 years ago
Reply to  Mariano Landa

Too far! And no tarring and feathering either.

longtom
longtom
9 years ago

where does one get a puka shell necklace these days??

Jen See
Jen See
9 years ago
Reply to  longtom

amazon, brah

Tired old guy
Tired old guy
9 years ago
Reply to  longtom

Walgreens drug stores in the US, right next to the $12 boogie board and confederate flag beach towel

SharkAttack575
SharkAttack575
9 years ago

I’ll bet this guy doesn’t have a wetsuit tan line, or a defend Hawaii t shirt and he doesn’t surf Cloudy and he probably surfs waves that girls like Felicity Palmeteer surf!!

cuttiesandfloaters
cuttiesandfloaters
9 years ago

can we actually throw grenades at this guy?

Otto
Otto
9 years ago

May be more fun to Order MC to affix his bayonet and charge

humas tearss
humas tearss
9 years ago

Is Hillary running web security here? ‘Cause I think Beach Grit just got hacked.

shootsthen
shootsthen
9 years ago
Reply to  humas tearss

Did we just travel back in time to October 2016, to a high school in rural Georgia? (The political jokes are sooooooo old, and at this point, juvenile)

humas tearss
humas tearss
9 years ago
Reply to  shootsthen

That would be great for my bank balance. I’m going to tell my past self not to bet so heavily on Kelly Slater winning Snapper and Fiji.

shootsthen
shootsthen
9 years ago
Reply to  humas tearss

I just watched that Proximity movie by Taylor Steele; very good flick, and slater was ripping but he’s starting to look old. (And sorry for being grumpy about politics; I’m just so tired of hearing about it when we should be focusing on other things, like education and the environment).

Tom House
Tom House
9 years ago

Jesus fucking Christ. Hard to get more Inertia-y than spelling Tom Curren incorrectly

Chas Smith
Chas Smith
9 years ago

What on God’s green earth is this?

Otto
Otto
9 years ago
Reply to  Chas Smith

I believe “this” might be that Satan to which Morgan was referring. On God’s green earth. God, Satan, and Chas Smith, and likely Chas’ Porsche. Our Chas, stuck in the middle of a Good vs. Evil Blood Feud.

turts
turts
9 years ago
Reply to  Chas Smith

A turd that needs to be sunk?

Tired old guy
Tired old guy
9 years ago
Reply to  turts

One of those floaters, that despite repeated flushings, pops back up in the dunny, mocking you…

Jocks
Jocks
9 years ago
Reply to  Chas Smith

This is when you charge US$50 for aspiring surf writers the opportunity to post an article on the Grit. Unedited

Neal Kearney
Neal Kearney
9 years ago
Reply to  Jocks

They only charged me $40. Bro deal

Ami Lost
Ami Lost
9 years ago
Reply to  Chas Smith
theflyingpeanut
theflyingpeanut
9 years ago
Reply to  Chas Smith

I believe those were the Shah’s exact words around the time the Ayatollah showed up…

?uzzled
?uzzled
9 years ago

I am an Inertia virgin. I barely use the internet and really don’t give a fuck anyway. I can’t get enough about Laird though so maybe…

turts
turts
9 years ago

I’ve alway thought of the the Inertia and Beachgrit to be quite alike America and Australia respectively. The Inertia over thinks and generally over romances an otherwise completely pointless pastime, whereas the Grit just says what it’s thinking laced with a healthy dose of sarcasm.

Mariano Landa
Mariano Landa
9 years ago
Reply to  turts

You misspelled “cynicism” at the end, there.

Michael Ciaramella
Michael Ciaramella
9 years ago

Hey! I know this guy!

Audit In Progress
Audit In Progress
9 years ago

You sure you wanna admit that?

longtom
longtom
9 years ago

did he finish High School?

Lemon Next to the Pie
Lemon Next to the Pie
9 years ago

Bullshit. It’s a pretend ‘connection’ to surfing through a reality that is turgid beyond the abilities of those who read it to understand the point. It offers a link to the sup/mal rider to pretend we are all one happy family of ocean loving, latte sipping cool cats. When the truth is most of us don’t like each other.

It’s the real fake news.

Jocks
Jocks
9 years ago

I’m changing my Disqus name to Ocean Loving Latte Sipping Cool Cat

dickie toledo
dickie toledo
9 years ago

beach grit went from totally sheik to totally geek.

Karl Von Fanningstadt
Karl Von Fanningstadt
9 years ago

Man, J-Bay can’t come soon enough…

GiGi
GiGi
9 years ago

u string enough of these one – hits together ,, and you got a ‘Grit article , Karl….


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