The bad old days.
The bad old days.

Reaching peak abundance of caution, New Zealand lifeguards ordered to wear masks when plucking drowning swimmers, surfers from Davy Jones’ Locker!

So long, CPR.

It is summertime in beautiful New Zealand, or almost summertime, and the beaches are filled with happy locals who have spent much of the last year-plus locked indoors. They are out now, and free, but maybe too free flocking to beaches and forgetting how to swim, surf.

There were two mass rescues, yesterday. One in Raglan after hundreds of people got sucked out to sea in a giant rip tide. Fourteen souls were saved and none lost. Another in Auckland where thirteen souls were snatched from Davy Jones’ Locker and none lost.

Lifeguards, brave and bold, hoisting dripping wet, gasping men and women into boats, helping them to shore.

Lifeguards, courageous and resolute, pumping chests and not performing CPR with their mouths because their mouths and noses are covered with abundant caution.

Yes, New Zealand became the first country to require its lifeguards to wear masks whilst on duty. Raglan’s patrol captain Molly Abrams told Radio New Zealand that all lifeguards had been given cotton masks to wear “when practicable” but that “saving lives was still a priority.”

CPR seems outdated, anyhow, so all good.

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Eastern
Eastern
4 years ago

Could be, but what’s the cause of all the interest in surfing all of a sudden? People had a lot of time to watch videos the past year or so. And certain vloggers are pimping our sport and lifestyle for profit, getting rich and ruining our past time with kooks. They need to be called out and held responsible. IMO

Beef & Beer
Beef & Beer
4 years ago

I’ll burn the fuckers down in that case…

Lightning Bear
Lightning Bear
4 years ago

We wear ours too. It’s that whole guarding life part of lifeguarding.

Wayne Lunch
Wayne Lunch
4 years ago
Hot stuff
Hot stuff
4 years ago

A colleague recently spent 2 hours in a small bathroom installing fittings with a guy who tested pos for covid, my unvaxxed associate did not catch the bug, the guy who had it had zero symptoms and only got tested cause he had to every day to leave a hot zone.
He was double shot

Beef & Beer
Beef & Beer
4 years ago

It’s meth for the workers and coke for the managers over here…

frank
frank
4 years ago

Chas, I’m so glad you brought this up, I have been, literally, curious for years, what is the difference between “practicable” and “practical”? Please I’m asking you to give me a linguist‘s opinion.
Thanks!

Captain Wack
Captain Wack
4 years ago
Reply to  frank

Good question. Its actually a matter of time, being past, present and future. For example, Kelly saying now “we are going to build a wave pool at Coolum. We are going to build it in a practical way”. Then 12 months after its finished and the attendance numbers are way down and all the investors lose money he says “well the idea was practicable at the time”

frank
frank
4 years ago
Reply to  Captain Wack

ahhh, the future imperfect tense? thank you Cap!

Takeoffdeepandreallylate
Takeoffdeepandreallylate
4 years ago

This is like the idiots I see driving around LA with masks on in their car by themselves with the windows up.

If this is what it’s come to, our civilization is doomed

V3 Rocket
V3 Rocket
4 years ago

I ain’t an anti-vaxx freedom fighter, or in favour of holding people down involuntarily so a Doc can insert 5G. But watching said idiots with masks by themselves in cars gives me giggles.

Snowbored
Snowbored
4 years ago

Open your mind. Maybe it’s just to protect the drowning victim from French kisses from the rescuer(s).

Picard Madeoff
Picard Madeoff
4 years ago

Never doubt the intelligence of Ardern and her band of sub-Bogan minions running NZ these days. Even the sheep are nervous for reasons beyond their typical fears of advanced animal husbandry.

Snowbored
Snowbored
4 years ago
Reply to  Picard Madeoff

“Sub Bogan”….. hahahaha! Awesome

Beef & Beer
Beef & Beer
4 years ago

Does anyone here know any assassins that could be crowdfunded to help solve the problems we’re having with our current NZ Govt ?
Any help would be appreciated…

velobwoy
velobwoy
4 years ago
Reply to  Beef & Beer

Seriously. What the hell is wrong with those people?

Hot stuff
Hot stuff
4 years ago
Reply to  Beef & Beer

The 4th covid shot should finish them off. Unless they’re shooting saline. Wouldn’t surprise me

ValiantScorn
ValiantScorn
4 years ago
Reply to  Hot stuff

Or crack more like it…

Hot stuff
Hot stuff
4 years ago
Reply to  ValiantScorn

We dont have crack down unda.

ValiantScorn
ValiantScorn
4 years ago
Reply to  Beef & Beer

304’s should be in charge of nothing except pleasing Men!!

Otto
Otto
4 years ago
Reply to  ValiantScorn

Calculating.

ValiantScorn
ValiantScorn
4 years ago
Reply to  Otto

Upside down….

german_surfer_007
german_surfer_007
4 years ago
Reply to  Beef & Beer

Yeah Gov, where is the support the farmers! Who needs clean rivers and lakes when you can have beautiful gassy cattle grazing the barren landscape. If you squint had enough you can imagine those wondrous fires burning native forest.

Beef & Beer
Beef & Beer
4 years ago

Most of us have fenced off the rivers etc.
My own streams have far cleaner water than any cities water supply will ever be.
A vast majority of NZ’s bush that got turned into grazing land was burnt off well over a hundred years ago and bounced back very quickly.
Best you go and sit in ya concrete jungle and whinge some other things you nothing about, moron…

Beef & Beer
Beef & Beer
4 years ago

Here’s a photo I just took from my house right now especially for you German VAL.
https://uploads.disquscdn.c…
If you think this is barren you’re an idiot.

Huli Opu
Huli Opu
4 years ago
Reply to  Beef & Beer

R those Jacaranda trees?

Beef & Beer
Beef & Beer
4 years ago
Reply to  Huli Opu

No it’s a sort of poplar/cottonwood.
We’ve got a couple of Jacaranda’s (not in this shot though) but they’re not flowering at the moment…

Mads Naeraa
Mads Naeraa
4 years ago
Reply to  Beef & Beer

Give them 4 weeks.

Mads Naeraa
Mads Naeraa
4 years ago
Reply to  Huli Opu

Moonrise last weekend with Jacaranda tree.
https://uploads.disquscdn.c…

Stick man
Stick man
4 years ago
Reply to  Beef & Beer

Green Beef & Beer

Beef & Beer
Beef & Beer
4 years ago

Here’s another angle of NZ farmland right now, with approaching clouds to give it a wash.
https://uploads.disquscdn.c…
Only a dimwitted fool would consider this to be barren and to have unclean water…

german_surfer_007
german_surfer_007
4 years ago
Reply to  Beef & Beer

Can smell the Nitrate from here.

Beef & Beer
Beef & Beer
4 years ago

My family’s had this place for almost 12 years and we haven’t put a single ounce of any fertiliser or poison on it, and we’re never going to.
The people we bought it off had owned it for about 20 years and hadn’t used any either.
It’s been long-term 100% organic, and we have about 30% less animals than non-organic farms but make as much (or more) income than them with far lower expenses, through having far higher quality animals that produce far higher quality beef…

ValiantScorn
ValiantScorn
4 years ago

Bwahahahahahaha! Bwahahahahaha! MENTAL ILLNESS!!!

Hot stuff
Hot stuff
4 years ago
Reply to  ValiantScorn

Late stage syphilis possibly.

Captain Wack
Captain Wack
4 years ago

Got my 2nd pfizer jab on Saturday. Woke up that night with a bad fever. Was talking to the wife the next morning, she was like are you feeling better? I’m like yeah I had the worst fever I think I was hallucinating. She’s like, you tried to have sex with me. I’m like yeah I thought you were someone else

Gil Gunderson
Gil Gunderson
4 years ago

Fuck, worrying trend in NZ… Covid SUPER Rips! Thoughts and prayers 🙏

Return of the Samsung Board
Return of the Samsung Board
4 years ago
Reply to  Gil Gunderson

COvid super bong rips were the lockdown pandemic

Tom
Tom
4 years ago

Forget the mask – what about launching the Beachgrit lifeguard short “ballsack boardies” will def keep you safe

Balanced
Balanced
4 years ago

Follow the science they say ha ha…… i wish she would hurry up and tell them that sucking your husbands old fella once a day is a covid cure….then I’d be in businesses for the first time since the pandemic started.

Balanced
Balanced
4 years ago
Reply to  Balanced

No wait that might make some people happy, she would say “sucking your husbands c*#k can give u covid”

Picard Madeoff
Picard Madeoff
4 years ago
Reply to  Balanced

WRONG! As long as the provider is wearing a mask while sucking a Covid infection will not occur

Gelato Pickle
Gelato Pickle
4 years ago

Well done for saving that person’s life sir, and how would you like to pay your $200 fine?

Boat Docks
Boat Docks
4 years ago

Theater of the absurd

Ricky Spanish
Ricky Spanish
4 years ago

In the beginning of the pandemic I saw a guy surfing with a cloth mask on. I don’t know what to say about it, but I felt like I needed to tell someone. I feel better already.

Pauly Matt War-Shore
Pauly Matt War-Shore
4 years ago
Reply to  Ricky Spanish

Is that a true fact?

Ricky Spanish
Ricky Spanish
4 years ago

It felt a bit like I was hallucinating but I’m pretty sure it was real

Snowbored
Snowbored
4 years ago
Reply to  Ricky Spanish

Better than a speedo? Maybe.

Stick man
Stick man
4 years ago
Reply to  Ricky Spanish

We’re here for you brother. Thank you for sharing.

@surfads
@surfads
4 years ago

Yet when I put a mask on and try to grab people in the water they call the police


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