For the win.

I’m in Italy, as you may know, carving down the Dolomites, having espresso mid-mountain etc. and it is all so wonderful but don’t worry, I’ll describe fully later and soon. In the meantime, there is a new application for iOS called “Surf” that allows players to ride as a dog on a surfboard hopping over sharks.

Fantastical? Magically no, as the waves themselves happened in real life.

The creator, Andy Bergmann, actually used National Oceanic and Atmospheric Administration to plug 37 years of real Hawaiian swell into the game, each of the 300 levels represent a condensed month of time starting in 1984. According to Fast Company, “To squeeze all this ocean data into the game, Bergmann tweaked his own algorithm hundreds of times in order to edit down tremendous amounts of real wave data into the shorter, surfable waves in the app. The notable nuance about these video game waves, however, is that they’re actually a wave chart . . . and wave charts correspond with how waves actually look.”

Bergmann says, “Oceanic movement is one of the most clear visualizations of math in the natural world. In cross-section, waves are essentially a moving line graph. You’ll encounter [a] surf in February 2016 so large it will actually carry you off the screen. Search the web, and you’ll find photos of those waves in real life, and read about ‘The Eddie,’ a surfing competition that occurs spontaneously only when the waves become gargantuan.”

All to say, Mark Zuckerberg, Jonah Hill and other surf-adjacent dreamers can now take that shark jumping dog and smash John John Florence at the aforementioned Eddie in 2016 or Bruce Irons in 2004 or even John John Florence again at the 2017 Pipe Masters.

All for only $2.

Cheaper than an electric foil.

Slide n glide.

I will tell you one thing lame about growing up: falling out of love with stickers. But do you remember when you used to dawn your local surf shop’s door, press your nose against the glass and select 1 – 3 stickers? My favorite were Pirate Surf, Billabonic and the Rusty R Dot. I would gather a baggie each summer when my family drove California’s coast to visit grandma down south and when I got home I would lay them out, gaze lovingly at each, then carefully apply them to my chest of drawers just like my North County, San Diego cousins did.

Magic.

Of course, that magic fades and now I don’t now purchase stickers from surf shops, even though I still love them, so was overjoyed to see celebrated actor/director, Malibu stand-out, Jonah Hill in the throes of sticker magic on his just-passed birthday.

In a loving post from Hill’s surf instructor girlfriend (top), the white longboard can be seen, bejeweled from tip to tail and on the bottom with “Surf Jew” stickers amongst others.

Stickering the bottom a serious commitment to excellence.

Happy Birthday, Jonah Hill!

Room for a 50 ft yacht.

I am now sitting in the shadow of the Dolomites, sun setting, having completed a travel journey from Mother Ginger to Cortina in a record setting run. Draped in Moncler, feeling that cold mountain air, ready to ride. Oh, you’ll see my WHOOP numbers documenting the 30-hour sprint soon but in the meantime, former Huntington Beach Mayor Pro Tempore, and mixed martial arts legend, Tito Ortiz is selling his Huntington Harbour home, ahead of Christmas, for the low low price of 6 million United States dollars (adjusted for inflation).

Per the listing:

Built on Davenport Island in 2006, the 3,887-square-foot waterfront house has four bedrooms and four bathrooms. It backs onto a 50-foot dock with room for a yacht and a Duffy. Ortiz, a popular mixed martial arts fighter turned politician, bought the Tuscan-inspired house with its stone and stucco exterior, Spanish tile roof, arched doorways, and stone balustrades in 2008 for $3.25 million, property records show. He shared it at the time with ex-adult film star Jenna Jameson, the mother of his twin sons.

Features include a wood-paneled office just off the entry. A formal dining room with built-in china cabinets connects to a 300-bottle, temperature-controlled wine cellar with a rolling library ladder.

A fireplace warms the family room, opening the gourmet kitchen equipped with high-end appliances.

The interior boasts hand-laid limestone, wrought iron railings and custom woodwork.

Just off the primary suite is a harbor view patio. A see-through fireplace separates the primary bedroom from the bathroom, with its oversized soaking tub. Two walk-in closets add to the perks.

Nice.

Did you know, though, that Cortina was site of one of the most famous World War I battles ever? A high altitude trench war where the Italians fought the Austro-Hungarians along the Lagazuoi Front?

I’m surprised “Lagazuoi Front” never became a surf-adjacent neo-punk outfit.

Learn more here.