Metaphorically rich.
Oahu’s North Shore, as you know, has come very much to life during the past two weeks. Swell event after swell event pulsing and pounding the most seven miles in surfing’s pantheon. There have been spectacular rides, like Balaram Stack’s 11 at Da Hui Backdoor Shootout, like Anthony Walsh’s massive POV pit, but two young dreamers, tourists, have out-famed them all with their clip going mainstream viral.
The scene is set when a North Shore lifeguard, sitting classically on the iconic red quad, calls after two tourist boys, maybe upper teens, maybe lower twenties, saying, “Get over here. Why not? Are you fu*king kidding me? The white guy told you no he told me why not. Are you kidding me? Where are you at? You even know where you’re going?”
One of the boys answers “Pipeline.”
“Yeah where? You guys are ready for Pipeline? Nah, you’re not ready for Pipeline. Get out of here. You guys aren’t going out here. You guys can go. Not here.”
The boys attempt to plead their case, relatively meekly, setting the lifeguard right off.
It is a beautiful moment, staged beautifully, and the mainstream press is rightly appreciating with the San Francisco Chronicle calling it “inspired” and USA Today declaring it “metaphorically rich.”
But have you ever been told off by a lifeguard?
Did you listen?
For shame.
David Lee Scales and I discussed this clip during our weekly chat and about many other surf adjacent things.
Enjoy here.
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Exceptional skills!
Dave Wassell gave me a heavy talking to at sunset when my leash snapped and it took me a while to swim in… it was like 4 foot when i paddled out, then maybe 8-10 ft an hour later and i got served pretty heavy… the guys do a good job filtering out the weak
Hi will do
Who knows, they might have ripped it up.
In a way that was the politest thing to do, a more nasty approach would’ve been to encourage them to paddle out. This is exactly why soft tops should be banned. Impressionable young people are been targeted like fast food advertising. It’s a disgrace, Ben gravy and j.o.b have alot to answer for, you should both be ashamed of yourselves
Fair enuff, I’ll say hi to your mum
https://www.youtube.com/wat…
Well, he rides some boards about the same length I believe on smaller days there, but their more pulled in at the nose and tail, while these look more like a full on fun shape.
One has to understand that when speaking of/referring to “lifeguards” there are huge disparities geographically. A lifeguard on Oahu is an actual lifeguard with ocean experience, knowledge of surf spots, and just maybe a wave-riding nbackground of their own. Come check out the pathetic, sad-sack scene of summer at the Jersey Shore and what we’re forced to call “lifeguards”. Most (but not all) got the summer job because the “head” lifeguard was their high school football or wrestling coach and they could bench-press 300 pounds even when not on a cycle of steroids at age 17. Knowledge of winds, tides, sandbars not required for most NJ lifeguards (again, not all… there are some solid surfing, ocean-intelligent guards mixed in for sure at places like Manasquan). As long as you were a top jock at your high school or are in the right fraternity the job is yours from Memorial Day Weekend to Labor Day to nurse that hangover on the lifeguard stand each day after kicking the surfers out the water at 9 a.m. In fact, I’ll place the bet now the two tourists getting lipped by the lifeguard in the video are in fact Jersey Shore lifeguards trying out surfing for the first time…
What makes a crack false and is it worse than a genuine one?
I want to be judged.
for real, those dudes = kooks. the lifeguards = over it, and probably taxed to the max. the actual answer = let ’em have at it. i may very well be coming from a position of massive ignorance on this issue, and welcome anyone’s correction of my (perhaps) misgivings, but why not let ’em just fucking get worked? if you’re on camera, DOCUMENTED, saying, “yeah man you’re about to fucking get worked and drown and we will not save you” doesn’t that cover your ass? why get all cop-like? why act like a fucking fascist haole “when a lifeguard tells you…” type-of-vibe? i understand and know hawai’i, of all surfing’s hallowed places, is sacred and her lifeguards are absolute watermen, pros. but honestly, where i am from, my initial reaction was “who’s this fucking cowboy lifeguard?!?!?!?!” because the lifeguards here are typically non-local inland water polo kooks from camarillo. just sayin… Lifeguard was totally right in legitimately sizing up the dudes’ skill level and likely victimhood at Pipe. but damn, there was a cop edge to his vibe + my own experiences with kook lifeguards that made me knee-jerk. I say let ’em at it. don’t save ’em. you straight warned ’em. but don’t act like a daddy. a lifeguard doing that from my locale would get beat up and his girl stolen. ps all love to hawai’ian lifeguards. i expect slaps. just wanted to point my finger a bit, but ultimately i tip my cap to y’all
That’s some elitist, false-meritocratic sort of shit unleashed upon the haole Euro tourist minority by a deputized state officer amount a militaristic vehicle on the beach in an environmentally and culturally sensitive place. Where does the WSL and the surf world writ large stand on this??? Tyler Wright??? I say the tilt towards equity screams, quite loudly: LET THEM HAVE A GO. The cam rewinds would pay for themselves.
That lifeguard wanted to pound that guy. Guaranteed he would have if not in his uniform.
Your butt cheeks
If only you had Oscar Zeta Acosta and his briefcase with you
They should sneak down from Pupukea and wreck shop.
Need lifeguards like this at all the north county San Diego breaks… so many fucking kooks lately. Covid has ruined surfing.
Did doc ask about anything funky flowing through your blood?
70s lightning bolt pintail or GTFO.
Well, I actually did ride a Bolt at Pipe, way back when, think it was a 6’10”.
I knew it!
See below.