Everybody's learnin' how!
The thrill of Kelly Slater’s autumnal* Pipeline victory is still reverberating around the globe, attention, though, in our surf world turning to whether or not he stands a chance at the upcoming Sunset Masters and if he places well there whether or not he will find some way into Australia and properly chase World Title XII.
While all this conversation is happening, YouTube sensation cum prize fighter Jake Paul snuck off with his girlfriend, after spending time at an amusement park then eating carpaccio, to New Jersey’s DreamWorks waterpark wherein he surfed.
Endearingly whimsical though the thing that perpetually surprises me about athletes who attempt The Sport of Kings is the straight legged thing. Paul is fit, he has proven himself in the ring, he no doubt understands concepts like “center of gravity” etc. so why the pop straight to ruler upright inevitably equalling a fall back?
Intriguing.
In a no holds barred fight between Kelly Slater and Jake Paul who would win?
Much to ponder.
*autumnal as in autumn of life not one of the four seasons.
Jesus fucking christ. Just remembered why I haven’t visited this shithole in 4 months.
As the tar balls roll in…
Glenn did some cool work with his Epiphone Zephyr Deluxe
Without an apostrophe before the s in “sensations” that typically indicates ownership we are left to wonder what the headline really means
“YOUTUBE SENSATIONS CUM PRIZE”
I’m going with Jake is a Cum Prize Fighter as it fits whoever the fuck he might be
I’ll take KS in a 10 round TKO as he is the ultimate at whatever he chooses to be…just ask him
Id accept bex over BM anyday!..
Everybody’s hurtin’ now!
As long as this newest VAL doesn’t find his way down the Garden State Parkway toward Monmouth and Ocean Counties, I think we’re OK over here in the arm pit of the East Coast. But if he does find Exit 98, it’s all over. Yuppie golf tools on Wave Storms may seem like guys you want to share wax with compared to this crew…
Jake Paul’s surfing is analogous to autumnal in Northern Siberia. Like, it’s immediate future looks bleak. And there’s no guarantee of spring
Great… just what we need.
Another celeb VAL kook in the water.
Hopefully he confines his “surfing” to wave parks.
Rumor in Brazil is that Gabe will be back for the G-land event.
He just shared his ex(?!?!) missus’ story on insta?
They seem to no hate each other despite the break up. He mentioned he “will be forever grateful” to her before. (Probably meaning he appreciates her opening his eyes to his family’s BS)
From TMZ: “Look, he’s no Kelly Slater … but it’s pretty impressive to see Jake get a few seconds standing on the board before crashing into the water.”
We’re fucked!
https://uploads.disquscdn.c…
Im glad i read before commenting cause i was going to type you first two sentences.
Your last sentence is genius and explains everything
Elo a goat b/c he baaaaaaaad at his job.
The one thing Jake has going for him is that there is no way he could be a bigger kook in the water than he already is on land.
In more important (and completely unrelated) BG matters at hand…
Top (as seen on TV) lawyer Dennis Denuto has now officially filed papers in the court of Judge Judy Sheindlin to appeal the conviction and sentence of Bex (hot stuff) Vidina, and the recent kneejerk ban imposed on him by Mr N.Egg’tron after the pilfered pipeline report incident.
Outside court after the preliminary hearing Mr Denuto told the waiting media scrum that he was confident of a positive outcome for his client as the prior hasty ruling was unconstitutional and goes against the general “vibe of the thing”.
Denuto will be ably assisted throughout the appeal by Mr Adam Hammill, son of the late Lawrence Hammill QC.
More details will be released as they become available…
I missed it, what’d hot stuff do now?
In a fit of blind enthusiasm he copy n pasted LT the Judas’™️ article from Swellnet and tried to pass it off as his own.
Why he thought this would work defies explanation.
Bexy got cancelled, for a bit.
And therein lies some of the unfortunate misunderstanding.
1. He never actually attempted to pass it off as his own, merely starting with the words “Here’s how I saw things”, meaning ‘this is what I saw written elsewhere by someone else’.
And then signed off his comment as “Bex Vidina reporting”, meaning ‘I’m reporting to you guys what LongTom wrote so you don’t have to go to that lame site Swellnet to see it’.
2. He changed the first sentence.
3. It’s all in the vibe of the thing…
Beefy, you may not have seen it.
He put a ©️Bex Vidina at the bottom.
Hell he even included the whole ©️Swellnet including comments from SN readers.
He may have altered it later.
Wow, a Pom stealing from others, who would have thought?
kinda funny tho
It actually was
Concise report on the fake report. All makes sense now!
Cool, sound’s more fun than the letters I’ve been getting lately from the Ex’s lawyer.
Chin up mate, seriously.
xox
Haven’t ya sold the Meatworks mansion and paid her off ?
Nope on both on those but ball rolling.
All the best
Fingers crossed
I’m sure YouTube sensations cum but I don’t want to read about it!
You may have stumbled upon a sporting idea. While a boxing ring is generally flat considering the padding, what if you equipped it hydraulics to control roll, pitch and yaw. If Paul had to box like he encounters changes surfing, would it not serve him well?
Great idea ! Float it in pond and then they need to add a jetski to tow old baldy in.
Now we’re getting somewhere. Hell, word around town is that there’s a suitable pond in cow country. Even has a train the Let’s Get Ready to Rumble guy can ride back and forth on super slow motion.
An Annie get yer Gun collides with Rocky sort of thing.
It’s got legs
Let’s make it a musical !
We’re gonna need more Norwegian thrash metal.
https://youtu.be/rggBFUJ6QOY
If the Mayweather fight is any indication, Kelly would agree not to hurt Jake too badly and make sure it went to judges’ decision in exchange for Kelly receiving 80% of the Pay-per-view revenue.
Hard to imagine people paying to watch Mayweather dance
The WSL does’nt have their heat draw listed for Sunset yet and it starts in three days. What assholes.
Hey WSL. Two names for you & a thought. Bobby Martinez & Noa Deane…you can silence the revolutionaries but you can’t silence the revolution. You still pretty much suck.
I haven’t seen such incredible surfing in a pool since Chas Smith shredded Leemore
I came here just to make a similar point