Shocking!
“A day of reckoning”, said Rabbit to kick off
today’s proceedings. A touch dramatic, maybe, but it was in keeping
with the tone of things to come – drama, intrigue, mystery!
And you’d be a hard man to deny Rabbit’s enthusiasm, perky, pink
and lucid as he was at this stage in the proceedings.
Bells Beach is oft maligned as a suitable tour stop, but she was
defiant today, smooth and pretty in the misty morning sunshine.
The waves were nothing like had been forecast, the energy in the
broadcast team was palpable. It was as if an invisible bulk had
been shifted, such was their relief that they wouldn’t need to
pretend not to be able to see shitty waves.
I think it was Ronnie, but others too, who conceded that the
forecast had been “crap”. A rare honesty that almost certainly
wouldn’t have surfaced if not for the luck of good waves.
Though in situations like today when decent waves are on offer
what possible reason is there not to run the overlapping heat
format? This is how the rounds of 32 and 16 should be done every
time.
There was lots of quality surfing worthy of discussion today,
but if you’ll allow me to skip through with some notable
bulletpoints so that I might reach the meat of today’s
narrative…
Nat Young seems to have found favour with both pundits and
heats. He put on a backhand clinic to dispatch god’s own messenger,
Caio Ibelli, who might have to increase his prayer time. Young’s
surfing seems to fit Bells like an elfin slipper.
Jackson Baker the Candlestick Maker did away with Bells Beach
favourite Jordan Michael Smith. There was a little griping in the
aftermath with Jordy’s claims of an interference, but it was a late
and snide move that not even Jordy seemed convinced by. The
resulting priority change rather than interference was the correct
call.
Ethan Ewing must be the most promising Australian surfer in a
decade? He’s certainly pleasing to the eye and his status as the
Golden Child of the Tour was established again today. Richie Lovett
was so effusive in his praise it bordered on lecherous. “Uhhhh…”,
he said, “Ouuuhhhhh…Look how he loads up his thighs…”
Florence and Chianca juked out a blistering heat with both men
holding high eights and nines in their final totals. It’s unclear
to me how Joao Chianca can have made more of an impression than
just about any other rookie, yet be uncertain of his place beyond
Margaret River. If one surfer has cause to feel a little aggrieved
about the cut it’s him.
A pudgy looking, slightly heavy-set Mick Fanning provided a
nostalgic glimpse of the past today. The first turn of his 6.67
against Kanoa was vintage Fanning and would have been fit for any
poster in his prime.
I noted earlier in the proceedings this week that I was warming
to Kanoa Igarashi. After his claim in this heat I’d like to retract
that statement. I don’t think I’ve ever seen a claim so flamboyant.
It wouldn’t have been out of place as the finale to a stage
musical. I only hope someone makes a truly excellent meme from
it.
Kolohe squeaked past Jadson by 0.04 points. I didn’t catch this
heat live but I’ve just watched the replay and thought it seemed a
touch off. Kolohe’s alley oop on the outside was certainly nice,
and with a degree of risk, but thereafter he nursed the wave to its
conclusion. Hard to score, perhaps, but I didn’t like it.
And so to the first major narrative of the day…
Did you notice it?
That change…that something…just a little bit…better?
I do believe that was one of the best WSL broadcasts I’ve seen
today.
Ronnie back as a steady hand was a factor. Rabbit and Richie’s
contributions were solid. Shannon had a good dig at the post-heat
interviews, and is far preferable when her ears are open and her
mouth is closed.
As for Kaipo, I can think of no better place for him than
chittering on a rescue sled, neutered and improved by the cold but
largely unseen or heard. The best production decision in some
time.
I did chuckle at the “Dometic Out The Back” tag. Not only was it
a fine example of the WSL’s continually awkward brand alignments,
but it was a fitting image for what should be done with Kaipo. Much
like you might dispose of a body in an old freezer out the back, so
Kaipo has been stashed away and will hopefully remain hidden.
Beyond Kaipo’s excommunication, the greatest improvement today
was a concerted effort to interview the losers and ask them some
decent questions. There was a smattering of this at both Sunset and
Portugal, but I’m glad it’s now being established as protocol.
We we also treated to a new, voyeuristic style of broadcasting
as the cameras and microphones eavesdropped on conversations.
We saw Griffin ask coach Tom Whitaker a question, then go
glassy-eyed when the answer extended beyond three words.
We saw Jordy breach the ivory tower to confront the judges!
I can only presume that the WSL production has been influenced
by the forthcoming Make or Break show. They’ve clearly been
listening to someone. Public opinion, perhaps, but more likely the
directives of the media company they’re hosting.
I wonder how tuned into this the surfers are? Have they been
briefed, given stage directions by ELo in secret meetings?
Jordy, for one, seems like he might be a prime candidate for the
role Daniel Riccardo plays in Drive to Survive.
Regardless, it might be working. All of a sudden we have a
little story, a little drama. Partially scripted or at the very
least self-conscious, perhaps, but at least we have surfers who are
no longer mere pawns trapped behind a Wall of Positive Noise.
They are people, with voices, and they will be heard!
And what do the voices tell us? Well, as Derek reported earlier,
there’s unrest within the ranks. It was first alluded to by Jordy,
I believe, who made a cryptic reference to surfer’s meetings and
uncertainty about Margaret River.
There is a whinging groundswell about the cut and the toys are
out of the pram! It seems the surfers may be preparing for
industrial action. How exciting!
Who’ll write the placards, I wonder? Certainly not Griffin.
And what might they say?
Answers and Kanoa memes below, please.
HEAT 1: Owen Wright (AUS) 13.67 DEF. Griffin Colapinto (USA)
12.34
HEAT 2: Nat Young (USA) 13.50 DEF. Caio Ibelli (BRA)
8.60
HEAT 3: Jackson Baker (AUS) 14.60 DEF. Jordy Smith (ZAF)
10.90
HEAT 4: Ethan Ewing (AUS) 15.73 DEF. Lucca Mesinas (PER)
9.90
HEAT 5: Filipe Toledo (BRA) 15.16 DEF. Mikey Wright (AUS)
14.67
HEAT 6: Connor O’Leary (AUS) 13.46 DEF. Ezekiel Lau (HAW)
13.26
HEAT 7: John John Florence (HAW) 18.86 DEF. Joao Chianca (BRA)
17.73
HEAT 8: Morgan Cibilic (AUS) 14.93 DEF. Barron Mamiya (HAW)
13.50
HEAT 9: Mick Fanning (AUS) 15.77 DEF. Kanoa Igarashi (JPN)
14.83
HEAT 10: Callum Robson (AUS) 15.27 DEF. Frederico Morais (PRT)
13.43
HEAT 11: Miguel Pupo (BRA) 15.80 DEF. Deivid Silva (BRA)
15.53
HEAT 12: Kolohe Andino (USA) 14.10 DEF. Jadson Andre (BRA)
14.06
HEAT 13: Imaikalani deVault (HAW) 13.84 DEF. Kelly Slater (USA)
13.77
HEAT 14: Jack Robinson (AUS) 16.17 DEF. Leonardo Fioravanti
(ITA) 9.90
HEAT 15: Samuel Pupo (BRA) 10.10 DEF. Jake Marshall (USA)
9.17
HEAT 16: Italo Ferreira (BRA) 14.00 DEF. Ryan Callinan (AUS)
13.00
Upcoming
Rip Curl Pro Bells Beach Men’s Round of 16
Matchups:
HEAT 1: Owen Wright (AUS) vs. Nat Young (USA)
HEAT 2: Jackson Baker (AUS) vs. Ethan Ewing (AUS)
HEAT 3: Filipe Toledo (BRA) vs. Connor O’Leary (AUS)
HEAT 4: John John Florence (HAW) vs. Morgan Cibilic
(AUS)
HEAT 5: Mick Fanning (AUS) vs. Callum Robson (AUS)
HEAT 6: Miguel Pupo (BRA) vs. Kolohe Andino (USA)
HEAT 7: Imaikalani deVault (HAW) vs. Jack Robinson
(AUS)
HEAT 8: Samuel Pupo (BRA) vs. Italo Ferreira (BRA)
Rip Curl Pro Bells Beach Women’s Quarterfinal
Matchups:
HEAT 1: Courtney Conlogue (USA) vs. Sally Fitzgibbons
(AUS)
HEAT 2: Bronte Macaulay (AUS) vs. Tyler Wright (AUS)
HEAT 3: Carissa Moore (HAW) vs. Stephanie Gilmore
(AUS)
HEAT 4: Brisa Hennessy (CRI) vs. Johanne Defay (FRA)
