The smile only a surf instructor can bring (courtesy Instagram).
The smile only a surf instructor can bring (courtesy Instagram).

Breaking: In stunning turn, Shakira’s mystery hunk on therapeutic surf vacation turns out to be a surf instructor as “best-selling female Latin artist of all-time” follows in Malibu icon Jonah Hill’s sandal’d footsteps!

Old Enough.

Shakira, the Colombian hitmaker who holds the title of “best-selling female Latin artist of all-time,” has captivated international attention as it was revealed that her 11-year partnership with Spanish football (soccer) stud Gerard Pique has come undone. While many, or most, would cower under a down duvet, eating affogatos and binge-watching Old Enough, the singer-songwriter has proven better and booked a surf vacation to northern Spain.

While maybe not “ideal” in terms of “surf quality,” Shakira has seemed happy in the knee-to-waist high runners (Surfline: 8 – 12ft) and particularly so when a mystery hunk approached her in the lineup and helped smooth her frontside flow.

The internet community wondered, for days, who he might be but new information has just come to light that he is, in fact, a surf instructor.

According to Marca Magazine:

As far as we know, this information is still unknown due to how fresh these images are but you can be sure his identity will emerge soon enough. Shakira does seem quite relaxed while taking her lessons, she needed a break after such a hectic schedule in the United States. With so much going on for her career right now, the separation drama with Gerard Pique has almost taken a back seat for her.

There are far more important things to deal with for Shakira at the moment. But the fans who want to see her happy and find love again can’t help checking up on her every once in a while. Shakira is currently one of the most researched celebrities online. They have tried to pair her up with the likes of Henry Cavill and Chris Evans but none of those options are real.

Malibu icon Jonah Hill, though, would tell her to look no further than the surf instructor. As you know, the heir to Miki Dora’s throne has made happy with his own surf instructor and I’m almost certain would recommend, Henry Cavill and Chris Evans be damned.

But have you ever had a fling with a brawny, handsome surf instructor of your own?

Care to share?

#OneLove.

Also, even if your heart is whole and full you should totally watch Old Enough.

A gift.

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Jimmy  thief giannone legends
Jimmy thief giannone legends
4 years ago

She’s very sexy but I like men

Jimmy  thief giannone legends
Jimmy thief giannone legends
4 years ago

I like her

tim_nelsen
tim_nelsen
4 years ago

expert parent said Montessori School? shit that was how i grew up…was truly a wicked lesson in life…but thank god Transcendental Meditation and the yogi set me straight…and i’m neither left or right-brained and surfed with feet parallel on the nose…and still bunny-hop my way around town…am available for KamaSutra instruction and would love to back her up, bunny-style…(BTW my assigned mantra is Shakira.)

Beef & Beer
Beef & Beer
4 years ago

…even BREAKINGER news…

After recent extensions, Shakira’s fuckin’ tall ladder is now tall enough to see not only (her recent crush) Kelly’s house in Florida, but also Jonah’s Malibu training ground (plus the Lemoore surf ranch).
https://uploads.disquscdn.c…
Meanwhile, the beanstalk near Kelly’s Florida home has grown to a such a height that it has a view to both Shakira’s Spanish garden, and also Lemoore, though the planter of the bean is yet to be identified…

channelbottom
channelbottom
4 years ago
Reply to  Beef & Beer

I’m pretty sure that you are a shill for Kaipo’s Church of the Ladder Day Saints.

Picard Madeoff
Picard Madeoff
4 years ago
Reply to  channelbottom

The benefits of multiple subservient wives and magical underwear are immense! BUT the prohibition on alcohol is rather troubling

tim_nelsen
tim_nelsen
4 years ago
Reply to  Picard Madeoff

AA has added another line to their Testament…

#11: The Sober Shall Inheret The Earth…

Picard Madeoff
Picard Madeoff
4 years ago
Reply to  tim_nelsen

I believe that was that a line in a Rush song, possibly Overture from 2112?

tim_nelsen
tim_nelsen
4 years ago
Reply to  Picard Madeoff

when Black Friday comes…
Gonna let the world pass by me
The Archbishop’s gonna sanctify me
And if he don’t come across
I’m gonna let it roll

Picard Madeoff
Picard Madeoff
4 years ago
Reply to  tim_nelsen

Black Friday is right around the corner if these markets don’t settle down

tim_nelsen
tim_nelsen
4 years ago
Reply to  Picard Madeoff

only a fool would say that

Picard Madeoff
Picard Madeoff
4 years ago
Reply to  tim_nelsen

and of course I was wearing a white stetson hat

Hippy
Hippy
4 years ago
Reply to  Beef & Beer

On point again B &B

tim_nelsen
tim_nelsen
4 years ago
Reply to  Beef & Beer

THE B&B Labber Series has been approved for another season! Sponsored by BeamMaps…

channelbottom
channelbottom
4 years ago

BREAKING NEWS:
Queensland now has own crap popstress and VAL taking advice from salacious surf website commentator Channelbottom! Locals dub defensive dung-flinging diva ‘Shat-Kirra’! Drop-ins down as dastardly doo-doo deliverer destroys deviants.

Huckleberry
Huckleberry
4 years ago

Just send her across the pond,
and ol’ Huckleberry’ll make that smile permanent.
Not to mention make her legit surf skill wise. Given time of course 🙄

Huckleberry
Huckleberry
4 years ago
Reply to  Huckleberry

*furthest thing from surf instructor I am. Hate those fn cunts honestly.

astro
astro
4 years ago
Reply to  Huckleberry

That’s alright, mate.
We understand what your lofty intentions are.
Hahahahahar

Nonagon_Infinity
Nonagon_Infinity
4 years ago

Beachgrit… Putting the Shaka in Shakira

Axel pose
Axel pose
4 years ago

Sounds like she’s about ready fore chopes. My daughter’s mother always talks about the time she went to Hawaii and met laird Hamilton who offered her free lessons. Always after mentioning how she doubts my abilities in challenging surf. Yep

channelbottom
channelbottom
4 years ago

I have never knowingly listened to this person’s music.

Except this

https://youtu.be/e0d553Ms228

astro
astro
4 years ago

“Have you ever had a fling with ….”
Fuck me, Chas you’re not writing for the Inertia crowd.
Self uppercut prescribed. Right now.

tim_nelsen
tim_nelsen
4 years ago
Reply to  astro

anti-depressive, but this where the phrase “you wanna have a fling?” originated…while this is Venice, CA, there’s 25 miles of strand. Rode it 40 hours straight repeating that phrase. Looking way back, don’t know where the stamina came from…

https://youtu.be/vvOjJoSEFM0

Derek Hynd's Missing Fins
Derek Hynd's Missing Fins
4 years ago

Chas you’ve struck gold on this vein, as it’s hard for your wife to get mad at you for binging Shakira pics and videos for “research.”

channelbottom
channelbottom
4 years ago

A throbbing purple vein.

Derek Hynd's Missing Fins
Derek Hynd's Missing Fins
4 years ago
Reply to  channelbottom

Sex wax.

tim_nelsen
tim_nelsen
4 years ago

I ‘ll torch my Shakira Scented Candle tonight and meditate on the wise words of the BG Gurus…in this order:

Fling, vein, wax, uppercut, dastardly doo doo, magic wear, labber labia, funny bunny…(and repeat)


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