"New stuff has come to light."
Days ago, the internet exploded into a tizzy when it was revealed that the world’s greatest surfer Kelly Slater was placing one of his two North Shore, Oahu homes on the rental marketplace for $46,000 per month. Potential tenants feverishly checked bank accounts, cushions of couch, for a chance to rest their heads on pillows purchased by staff of the 11x champion.
BeachGrit led the news cycle, breathlessly gushing, “The 5 bedroom/6 bath beachfront estate, spanning 6700 square feet, features a swimming pool, air-conditioning, hardwood flooring, decks, a patio and garage for which to park an SUV or pick-up truck on large tires. The beachfront portion, it should be noted, is also protected by burritos.” And adding a description from Architectural Digest reading, “(It) is infused with Asian and Hawaiian design elements, made especially apparent by the serene boardwalk over an outdoor pond with a Buddha statue sitting in the midst of tropical plant life.”
Well, a very kind realtor handling the property reached out directly to correct the record. There was no Buddha statue and no burrito, sand-filled bags that are illegally placed on the beach to prevent erosion. In fact, neither of Slater’s properties had every utilized such a thing and it was a lie that had been propagated through media by unscrupulous journalists/The Inertia.
Revealed today, exclusively, though and through a sterling source, is that Slater did have an illegal structure at his house near Ehukai (not the one for rent) that has since been removed.
What was it?
A 5G cell tower disguised as a palm tree?
A backyard-sized Surf Ranch?
A replica of his Cocoa Beach effigy?
No.
A set of un-permitted stairs that went down to the beach.
Are you outraged?
But do you think Slater built himself, tool belt on etc., or do you think he hired a handyman?
More as the story develops.
It’s just a GOAT track, calm down Karen
NonJohn thinks that Conan should inspect your VW
Note the “surf journalist” boldy splitting the infinitive.
It’s “gushing breathlessly” dude.
Dude, I AM the guy you’re looking for. I live in Minnesota, I don’t surf, but I went to the Pipe Masters last year, then went to Nazaré to see the XXL swell at the beginning of February. We exist and I know all about Kelly Slater AND his pool… Though I’d rather watch Kai Lenny
Slater derangement syndrome, or commonly known as SDS. The goat is living rent free in people’s minds around here.
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It surprises me that slater will do battle with conspiracy theorists on Instagram but won’t even acknowledge Chas
That cause he doesn’t acknowledge Chas or DR exist. DR is still waiting for his free beer from Kelly. They are about a old as each other and could compare Audi cars or mopeds
Blacklisted by rip curl and slater, thats why the pander incessantly to that fat jewish comedian.
You don’t see Maurice around anymore now that his buddie nick bailed for the other web site.
I find KS on the extreme edge of boring, borish and unimpressive outside of his surfing. While the boys and girls at BG offer a much needed change up and unlike others, they don’t take themselves too serious. Lets enjoy their mastery!
https://www.ikea.com/au/en/…
I’m hope it has a has a handrail ,he is an over 50 now
There ain’t no Monorail here and there never was!
it was boxes of outerknown mailers-pamphlets
I’m sure the stairs were made of those compressed tiles made from old Firewires and Slater Designs boards. It’s the best use of those flimsy pieces of shit.
just a couple of Kelly’s steps-up boards.
Pick up truck on large tires…..hilarious
All you forgot was the large angry pitbull riding shotty
and a big “Aloha State” flag coming out da bed…shoootz.
Seems clear to me, KS hired the good work of our very own ladders and stairs supremo Beef n Beer.
Shirley, Kaipo’s Church of the Ladder Day Saints?
Possibly! But maybe they’ve subcontracted the Freemason Ho’s.
Shall I erect my church on that lot
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Likely noone in the US has heard of this pop group.
This wasn’t on my mind….now it’s the last thing.
It was a sculpture of himself
https://fastly.4sqi.net/img…
That statue needs a cowboy hat on it to celebrate the exodus Chas has embarked upon!
Goofy foot, he’s the most ambidextrous human ever!
That is the tail on the foreground. What maneuver is this?
Interesting fin placement for a single fin!
the way he stairs though… that was what article was about.
Why the fluff Chas? We don’t care about KS! You are holding back real world experiences in the heartland from your loyal readers? WE NEED TO KNOW WHAT IS HAPPENING IN THE BIBLE BELT or as some once said the asshole of America…BTW did you know OKC is 40 miles up it?
I’m twiddling my thumbs in Amarillo waiting for VW update then more epic quest will flow!
I feel you pain having broken down in Dalhart, TX back in the late 80s in my glorified VW, aka Porsche 914. Grab an Uber(if they exist in Amarillo) and head over to The Big Texan Steakhouse for a wild experience. They might have surfing on the TVs…
Get out on the field and ask anyone and everyone about this “Surf League” thing…try the local watering hole.
Fascinating geography lesson
I butchered the original saying as it goes along these lines:
Amarillo is the asshole of America and Lubbock is 100 miles up it…
https://youtu.be/w3bwrt6aUhY
https://youtu.be/nllWDc8_9lw
https://occ-0-3997-3996.1.n…
born in lancaster, ca: me, bob, and frank!
https://i.pinimg.com/origin…
Ready for Camarillo
But is it yellow?
https://wp-media.patheos.co…
THIS is why I love BG!
As long as there is wine, all good.