“The video ends with the Facebook founder still gliding along triumphantly, his speed barely waning as he maintains his balance on the board."

The American Mark Zuckerberg, not yet forty, founder of Facebook, genius behind a three-D version of the internet called the Metaverse, coming soon if it don’t implode etc, has put the abominable stench of Meta’s crashing share price behind him with a feverish lake-surfing session. 

Zuck, whose whose riches have tumbled by almost one hundred billon dollars in the past year sending his ranking among the world’s richest from fifth to eighteen, is filmed hitting boat wake with a very front foot style. 

(Oh, how I can relate.)

“The video ends with the Facebook founder still gliding along triumphantly, his speed barely waning as he maintains his balance on the board — and thereby denying Reel viewers the sight of it gradually slowing down enough to deposit its billionaire cargo in the surrounding lake.”

 

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A post shared by Mark Zuckerberg (@zuck)

Pro surfing BFFs Kanoa Igarashi and Lucas “Chumbo” Chianca were quick to praise, a contrast to the six thousand other mostly unhinged comments begging for money. 

“Nice rail work!!” write KI to which 382 fans hit the like button and Zuck replied, “Thanks… big compliment coming from you!” 

Pipe stand-out Chumbo writes, “Yeaaahhhhhh” with flame emoji. 

“We’ve got to get you out here sometime!” Zuck tells his Brazilian pal. 

Other comments were along the lines of, 

“Hello everyone, I am poor. My name is Abbas from Iraq. I am 29. I am very tired because I am poor and I want help because I am tired of thinking, depression and deprivation. I have a brother and my father died. My family and I live in poverty because of the conditions of deprivation in my country. It does not help me because the state is militias and gangs that steal human rights. Please help me because I live with my brothers and my mother@zuck”

No response from Zuck at the time of going to press.

Disappointing.

Includes "greenhouse gas spewing" charcoal cooker!

As fate would play its usual comedic hand, on the very day IKEA’s Kaseberga collection, “made with the World Surf League”, lands in stores, I’m renting a beachfront hovel in Hossegor filled, entirely, with the disposable furniture giant’s produce. 

It’s all fine enough, perfectly operable within its short lifespan, before a brief moment on the roadside as it awaits its eventual landfill grave, but one must challenge, I think, greenwashing propaganda such as “(the) collection addresses our planet’s global challenges, while supporting a sustainable everyday life — in and around water.” 

What does sustainability mean? 

Does it mean anything? 

Isn’t stepping off the consumerist train now and then a sounder environmental approach?

If a plastic bag is made from recycled “ocean-bound” polyester, is that a reason to celebrate?

Or, better, not to buy any plastic bag at all? 

Is a charcoal cooker, its fuel tightly packed bundles of carbon that “spew pounds of the greenhouse gas carbon dioxide into the atmosphere”, a gift to the earth, too? 

A bamboo table?

Baskets, lights, chairs, a tent, hat, backpack, water bottle, towel, yoga mat, rug? 

Of course, it is a collection “that embraces the surfer’s mindset, whether you ride waves or not.”

So there’s that.

Examine and hurry the earth towards its inevitable demise by buying here.