"Losers."
The World Surf League released its 2023 Championship Tour schedule but days ago unleashing a torrent of vitriol so full-throated, so purely grouchy from fans of professional surfing to make even the grumpiest of surf journalists blush. The issues twofold. Holding Final’s Day at Lower Trestles yet again thereby gifting the world’s greatest little wave surfer Filipe Toledo his second crown, yes, but mostly the reintroduction of Kelly Slater’s Surf Ranch Pro.
The tank hosted two contests before, much to the chagrin of… everyone. While very fun to surf, it is absolutely painful to watch, pure torture, and fans of professional surfing rejoiced when it was disappeared last year.
But it is back and rage.
RAGE against that machine.
Being serious about my craft, though, the aforementioned grumpy surf journalism, I purposed to find but one positive perspective about the Surf Ranch Pro, digging through hundreds upon hundreds of comments, thousands even, on the World Surf League’s usually tepid platform, on CEO Erik Logan’s, on Head of Competition Jessi Miley-Dyer’s but nothing.
Not one ray of light.
So you can imagine my utter shock when visiting BeachGrit’s lightly-trafficked Instagram page, earlier today, I stumbled upon the one, the only, happy take.
View this post on Instagram
Joao Luna, who writes under the name jpluna05, penned, “I don’t get all the buzz about the surf ranch. Such a great place for the fans, sponsors and much more. It’s just one stop there FFS! The pool can be such an important part of social inclusion, especially in places that are miles far from the ocean, but it needs to be much publicized to make an impact for thousands in the future. Now, I believe the format can be changed to add a bit more action to it. Some behaviours like a local trying to keep their beach point untouchable. Losers.”
Kelly Slater’s Surf Ranch Pro a beacon of ethical responsibility!
I cannot wait for the World Surf League’s Logan and Miley-Dyer to stumble upon this message and broadcast it right.
Planting justice in the desert.
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Or maybe bc surf in a desert during aridification is stupid
Or Hacienda Topocalma? Not that I’m suggesting anyone go there
Kerry can save Russia. Via Giant Geodesic BioSpheres & Wave Pool tech. Thankyou Rob. 🙏🤴🏼
the nuke plant is a female! those mounds with observation decks are designed to divert our eyes from her reactor!
they were known as “Just the Tits of Nuclear Power…”
Correction, the tank hosted 3 contest before.
Surf and ranch don’t go together btw
4 Wavepools here in São Paulo
The Wavepool Capital of the world.
2 wavegardens, 2 Perfect Swells
2 are ready
One is the best in the world right now (Perfect Swell Boa Vista)
It was tested last week.
None will be Open for the public
Only for people who own real estate in the condos or clubs
Check the prices
Very inclusive
Wavepools are the New Golf Camps
I can’t see the nipples hence the down vote 🥵
that’s a pass! i’ll go find some for ya…oopssey…too much radiation and not enough exposure!
https://scontent-sjc3-1.xx….
I estimate it cost around 10 k a day to maintain.Regardless if it’s functioning or not.
It’s the number 1 lost loser for the WSL.
(Credit Kelly for off loading the lemon!)
They have to put it back on tour.
They must sell it too the media.
The surfers, work for the man, Elo, they will do as told and safety surf.
As some Australian wage slaves have been allowed a “day off” in honour of Her Ex-Majesty, I made some fruity bread using the finest black (mourning) bananas from our fruit bowl. It’s OK. Not my finest.
God Save The
Sausage Fingersuh… King.WTF? The Kelly Slater Wave Pool is actually the zenith https://uploads.disquscdn.c… of socio-economic exclusion! Are you kidding me? The thing costs $60,000 dollars to rent for the day.
What are you!?!!? Some kinda comminist antifa Robin Hood leftist ?!?!!
Lol, Cote’s gettin’ around! Definitely can’t script that. Cracks me up, he’s definitely hustling’ the commentator game. Somehow I’ve just gotta respect that. The ability to hype up some drama in a one wheel race takes something I don’t got. Glad he does though.
The Nocean is bad enough as a stop, but ending at trestles with the “top 5” after the Mid Year Cut guarantees any winner a big fat asterisk.
steph
going left at the rinc!
https://scontent-sjc3-1.xx….
They can save the Surf Ranch Pro by throwing in a boxing match between Ashton and Chas! Round 2 Goin’ to blows at the Surf Ranch Pro! I’d pay per view to watch that!
http://cdn1.theinertia.com/…
What’s with the trippy green shadows?
same colour as ur avator…maybe a radiator or an infection…overexposure!
toxic waste
What Da hell…. Bhahahah
But what about equality in One Wheel competitions? https://youtu.be/CtAXb9VD7qQ
I had no idea this existed.
Potentially as obscure as surfing.
love the wee headlights.
Joao Luna is Kelly Slater spelled backwards.
Stalker Yell, Elly Talkers, Kyle Ells Rat, Try Sell Kale, Leak Sell Try
I for one, would like to see some local Lemoore wildcards, but I expect they’ll be otherwise indisposed doing meth and/or losing their most recent paycheck at the Tachi Palace.
Maybe some Rhino pilots from NAS Lemoore can participate.
Participate in doing meth? I thought that was pretty much par for course for Navy officers.
You have to be on meth to land a $50 million dollar airplane on a moving postage stamp.
a few great men…
https://external-content.du…
Exactly!
Joao Luna does not surf!! Guaranteed.