More questions than answers.
Wave pools are no longer chimeras of science-fiction in our surfing world, no. They are as real as Mad Max Fury Road. As Dirk Ziff’s $5.7 billion and all fine and all good. Wave pools are very fun to surf, though I haven’t experienced all the technologies yet, of which there are many, including, Kelly Slater’s plow, the rusty plunger, Wavegarden’s other plow, Surf Loch’s whoosh. Waco’s other whoosh, etc.
On an interesting related note, birthplace of surfing Oahu is set to get its first wave pool though has opted for none of the above. The Wai Kai Wave park, to be built near Ewa Beach, has opted for a Jamie O’Brien-esque shovel n sand model. Shall we learn more? According to Forbes:
This exciting development is the first of its kind in Hawai’i, where modern surfing caught a wave in the cultural zeitgeist, and it will have the world’s largest deep-water standing surf wave. Powered by citywave®, this technology creates realistic surfing conditions with infinite and adjustable waves, ranging from two to six feet to accommodate a range of skill levels. The 100-foot-wide controlled wave will allow up to three surfers at a time, and an additional 30 in the “barefoot zone,” and is designed to emulate natural standing river waves like the North Shore’s famous Waimea River Sand Bar.
The Wai Kai Wave was created in collaboration with local surfer Shane Beschen, an X Games gold medalist and former world number two surfer. He and other former and current professional surfers will be available for hands-on instruction and training sessions.
Huh.
You in?
Lmao I just had to post to this wack site to make fun of this writer. 🤣 in what world is the US’s favorite past time sport is surfing? Man shut your stupid self up and go read a book. Noone cares about surfing. If you don’t watch football and the NFL for that matter … your a nerd. Go outside breathe in fresh air and find a hobby you clown
I remain wildly distraught by Misty’s assumption of your gender and it will takes days if not weeks hiding in my safe space to process the femifascist display by Misty on these hallowed pages.
chlorination is the key to sanitation…I’d prefer the highly risky Waimea and go au natural’ ’cause chemicals hurt and dull my senses…
‘can you excuse me? I need to go powder me nostrils…
Well said and to your point, my boys were taught early on who rules the world: Women.
BTW- my pronouns are: Fat and fatAF
I haven’t heard shove it up your pie hole in years. Nice touch.
My retort to Misty and yes my wife is now more aware of her gender advantage beyond not getting her ass kicked as that wouldn’t be a good look for my corporate queen:
“Well Misty, my wife of 31 yrs was called out by our 23 yr old for bad behavior in the lineup a few weeks ago as we were laughing about the fin cut in her board after her latest unaware event…and yes she looks great in a wetsuit so she can get away with more than we of the lesser gender
BUT I need your help as my English is challenged in that I cannot interpret where Jack asserted women shouldn’t exist. So PLEASE help me as your guidance on this matter will help me to condemn Jack as well for his evil, agro-white male colonial aggressions or something, something, something”
Can you maybe do something about the misogyny/toxic masculinity that caused you to include “women” in the list of people you’d prefer did not exist or not be out in the water?
Well Misty, my wife of 31 yrs was called out by our 23 yr old for bad behavior in the lineup a few weeks ago as we were laughing about the fin cut in her board after her latest unaware event…and yes she looks great in a wetsuit so she can get away with more than we of the lesser gender.
BUT I need your help as my English is challenged in that I cannot interpret where Jack asserted women shouldn’t exist. So PLEASE help me as your guidance on this matter will help me to condemn Jack as well for his evil, agro-white male colonial aggressions or something, something, something
This is, quite literally, the worst writing I have ever read in my entire life.
Did the author drop out of kindergarten?
“you can say that again”
two flushes/
Cars have tyres.
pool en sai
You ever surf all 50 states and every wave pool in the world? I have. Come surf the Missouri River when it’s FULLY NUKING -20 degrees. Then we’ll see who the REAL best surfer ever in the world is on a for the dream novelty wave of pineapple.
“Then we’ll see who the REAL best surfer ever in the world is on a for the dream novelty wave of pineapple.” – seriously what the fuck are you talking about here ???
I don’t believe the above piece talks about your skills in said pools or rivers.
But if you going to surf in the future on a pineapple in all rivers pools and oceans then that’s going to be fantastic!!
Ben, the best surfer is, ‘the one having the most fun’…..
What a time to be alive, ben gravy and phil edwards in the same chat!
First koa rothman now ben gravy! Jonah hill gonna find himself unceremoniously dumped now all the cool kids are here.
Durka jeeerbs
Well here go again.
I think the bottom line is, no matter what kind of contraption they come up with to make a fake wave, it’s still gonna be a fake wave. They can’t recreate the feeling of freedom you have in the real Ocean, and without that and the other good Ocean and beach vibes, it’s just gonna be a fake experience with a fence around it to keep the riff-raff with shallow pockets out.
PS
anybody else having problems with a bunch of pop ups on this site?
Yes and it’s getting worse.
Download 1Blocker for free . I haven’t seen a pop up ad in a year since I downloaded it
Now I know you can be deliberately cunty when it comes to spelling, Chas. It’s a trademark of yours, a cross we all have to bear and endure but in this case I do not give a fuck. The word is spelled plough. Not plow. Plows are for wankers.
Mr Plough.
That’s my name.
That name again…
Hang on Chas, I thought you told us peru was the birthplace of surfing.
You got your name up in lights in the latest TSJ email. Good job.
his loyal and educated readers still can’t decipher which came first..the love drug or the love boat/
Before my daughter was born wifey took me to a calm birthing course to prep for the impending arrival. It was in this beautiful lakeside house with big comfy chairs, dimly lit room etc, and focussed on breathing, meditation techniques to practise during labour among other things.
Anyway it was so effective I fell asleep mid-course, and nobody seemed to notice. Whilst snoozing I had a dream where I had constructed one of these Beschen-style standing wave pools inside a house, and was renting it out as a corporate retreat whereby you could come and stay at the house, have team building exercises etc but also learn to surf. It would also be great for buck shows.
Still convinced it could work. I also really miss those comfy chairs.
https://youtu.be/T2ncJ6ciGyM
my dad missed my birth. his excuse? “I was inventing the freesbie…”
My mom said “Why? He wasn’t at the inception”.
“Mom, dad is writing shit for that dumb blog he and Uncle Derek started. Does he not have a life?”
“We just have to indulge his midlife crisis. It’s correlated to his word count. As to him having a life, more questions than answers, my dear.”
As stated separately…
This is, quite literally, the worst writing I have ever read in my entire life.
Did the author drop out of kindergarten?
You must be new here?
Hey mate, you new here? Sometimes we meet up and do kinky shit if you’re interested.
rumor has it he was expelled from kindergarten , for being illiterate and showed no willingness to mends his lack of literacy!
born in a cold water tub…been trying to crawl back in ever since…