Surfer dragged from jaws of Great White by
impossibly brave husband shifts to boxing following severe nerve
damage and partial paralysis of bitten leg, “I was just really sick
of feeling like I couldn’t function”
By Derek Rielly
Anytime she thinks about the attack “I’m hit with
low grade nausea and panic. And that just comes at me day after
day, after day."
Twenty twenty was a helluva year for Great White attacks in
Australia, east coast, west coast, they were
everywhere.
A psycho year that was confirmed at the end of August
when
thirty-five-year-old surfer Chantelle Doyle was hit by a ten-foot
Great White at Shelly Beach in Port Macquarie, a pretty
fishing town on Australia’s mid-North Coast.
It was only an act of impossible bravery by her husband, belting
the White in the face until it released its grip on his wife’s leg,
that saved the woman,
“This fella paddle over and jumped off his board onto the shark
and hit it to get it to release her…pretty full-on, really heroic,”
said Surf Life Saving NSW chief executive Steven Pearce.
Wild, yes?
Two years on, Chantelle has shifted to boxing following severe
nerve damage to her bitten leg, which means she’s gotta wear a
brace on her left foot and lower leg.
Great, you’re saying. She’s going to take up
longboarding and make us read all about it. She made us read about
her red bikini and and her ice cream and her parking ticket.
Longboarding? This is a bridge too far. Someone make her
stop.
Quit-lit: “If you want to surf forever, how
do you do it? How do you keep it new and fresh? Is it a worthy or
even possible pursuit?”
By Jen See
"I like the idea that longboarding is out there,
waiting for me."
A week or so ago, I got in the car and drove to
Ventura.
Along the way, I got stuck in a traffic jam.
There I sat in traffic on the way to an event at Patagonia and
felt terribly guilty about my life choices. I am bad at the planet,
I thought, as I sat there crawling along, blowing exhaust into the
air with all the other people blowing exhaust, too.
At least the ice cream was organic. On the way to the traffic
jam, I surfed bad Rincon and ate good food at The Good Plow. Ice
cream understands. Ice cream makes everything okay, even the
parking ticket I got in Ventura. But that is getting ahead of the
story.
The bad surf and the good ice cream and the traffic were all on
the way to see Lauren Hill’s new film, The Physics of Noseriding.
If you don’t know Lauren, she wrote the large-format book, She Surf
where she wove together a diverse set of stories about women’s
surfing from around the world. The film offers an endearing and
nerdy look at how longboards work, and specifically what makes
noseriding possible.
I’m pretty sure the curve of a woman’s hip off the end of a
longboard, that dance, that swing, is one of the most beautiful
things in surfing.
But, how does it actually work?
That’s the question Lauren sets out to answer. It all sounds
extremely earnest, and not at all the kind of thing I would
normally wade through traffic to watch. Lauren’s skill as a
storyteller turns the film into a joyful exploration.
I should tell you that I can’t longboard. Not properly, at
least.
Oh, I can stand there like the Statue of Liberty and hope the
giant slab of fiber glass goes mostly in the right direction. This
does not work all that often. Graceless splashing and flailing is
the usual result. I don’t understand how to make a longboard sing
and dance and do magical things. Noseriding might as well be a walk
on the moon.
Growing up in Florida, Lauren learned to make the most of small
surf. Longboarding and the noseriding’s weightless sensation
captivated her imagination. These days, she lives in Australia
where the long walls of Byron Bay’s points give her more space to
play. Her experiences inspired the film, and she wanted to showcase
the skills of surfers she admires.
The wide-eyed curiosity of Namaala Slaab provides a frame for
the film.
Namaala, whose sister Jalaan is a shaper teeters on a fallen log
in an illustration of balance, and her explorations bring the more
abstract ideas of the film to life. In a tribute to a scene from
Gidget, Namaala rides a longboard on her bed in a demonstration of
the Coanda effect.
Yes, there’s actual physics in the film.
Lauren takes us into the deep end, and ably brings us back. I
came away from the whole thing much smarter. And while Lauren could
not fit a discussion of board design into the film — maybe she can
make a future film or write an article on this side of the story —
I felt like a “got” longboards in a way I didn’t in the past.
There’s also some lovely surfing, and a hilarious, too real
depiction of shortboarders. If you don’t recognize yourself, my
shortboard friends, you are not being honest. That’s us, flailing
away in search of an elusive and impossible grace.
Great, you’re saying. She’s going to take up longboarding and
make us read all about it. She made us read about her red bikini
and and her ice cream and her parking ticket. Longboarding?
This is a bridge too far. Someone make her stop.
Since I have banned myself from buying new boards for the time
being, you are safe.
For now.
Recently, I wrote a profile story of Matt Warshaw, which you can
read in the next issue of Emocean Magazine. As you all know by now,
Matt lives in Seattle and has mostly quit surfing. As I tried to
make sense of Matt’s relationship with surfing, I had a number of
lengthy conversations with long-timers about life and change.
If you want to surf forever, how do you do it? How do you keep
it new and fresh? Is it a worthy or even possible pursuit? I think
one answer is to try different things. Ride different boards. Seek
out different waves.
And so, I like the idea that longboarding is out there, waiting
for me. There’s a whole way of surfing that I don’t understand and
have never really experienced. Maybe I’ll never try it. Maybe I’ll
quit and move to Seattle first. But I like the idea that it’s out
there, one of an infinite range of possibilities, a road to take or
not as inspiration sparks.
I loved Lauren’s film for its light-hearted invitation to learn
more about one of surfing’s mysteries. And maybe one answer to the
question of how to surf forever is to remain open to its
possibilities, even if they don’t all fit into the present.
But then again, I’m just an idiot with a parking ticket.
Buoyed by unprecedented success, World Surf
League CEO takes opportunity to mock elderly owner of Dallas
Cowboys for using outdated technology!
By Chas Smith
Jerry Jones uses a FLIP PHONE?
But to be the CEO of professional surfing at
this very moment, sitting on a growth spike not seen since… well
ever. Numbers through the roof. Numbers to the moon. Millions upon
millions upon millions of new fans tuning in and clearly falling in
love with our Sport of Kings.
Viewership eclipsing European soccer, crushing America’s
National Football League.
The confidence boost must be intoxicating. Enough chutzpah to
openly mock the owner of global sport’s richest franchise, one
Jerry Jones of the Dallas Cowboys, for using outdated technology
even.
The WSL’s Erik Logan did just that on his preferred platform,
hours ago, head back laughing at Jones’ use of a flip cellular
phone instead of, I’d imagine, an industry standard iPhone.
Logan penned, “I love having conversations with leaders and
tremendously successful people about what drives them to generate
success and learn from their experiences. As I have the
conversations, every so often you pick up some classic pieces of
information! This is a clip from an interview I did with my friend
@kellimasters , Former Ms. Oklahoma and one of the very first and
most successful FEMALE NFL agents. I was so surprised by this
nugget.”
As it happens, I sat in a booth next to Jerry Jones two years
ago at Jackson Hole Mountain Resort’s Handle Bar. Or, actually, it
was Ajax Tavern in Aspen. I did not notice a flip phone but he
seemed salt-ish of the earth, chatting easily with staff, being
generally chill. I thought about making some small talk but had
nothing to say so kept my mouth shut.
I also sat next to LCD Soundsystem’s James Murphy but that was a
different restaurant, the Little Nell’s Element 47 and on a
different trip.
He had crumbs on his 5 o’clock shadow but I didn’t openly
mock.
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Jack Johnson receives restraining order
against scary female fan who insists on buying three-figure VIP
“meet and greet” tickets at surf crooner’s shows!
By Chas Smith
Capitalism.
Now, Jack Johnson may not be your cup of tea
but the North Shore local’s surf bonafides are beyond dispute.
Coming up along side The Momentum Generation, Johnson cut his teeth
at Pipeline and such, pushing against Kelly Slater, Rob Machado,
Shane Dorian etc. then playing healthy tunes on oceanfront yards
afterward.
Well, his career took off with massive hits such as Banana
Pancakes and Bubble Toes and Upside Down and he sells out concert
halls is able to charge thousands of dollars for VIP meet and greet
packages.
Living the dream… except… a woman has been scooping up
too many of those VIP meet and greet packages and harassing the
poor surf crooner so much that Johnson was forced to turn to the
courts in order to get a restraining order against her.
According to new legal docs, obtained by TMZ, Jack claims
the woman traveled to Houston, Texas on Aug. 26 and got in his face
at his hotel … and the interaction was so frightening, not only for
Jack but also for the bandmate who saw it all go down, Jack and his
band bounced until cops came and detained the woman.
Jack had a show that night in the Houston area … and he
claims his alleged stalker often buys VIP packages to his shows in
order to get close to him. JJ also says she emails him and his
management, claiming she’s been the victim of a long-term financial
scheme … conning her out of millions of dollars.
Jack says he’s worried for his safety because it’s easy for
the woman to track his movements … pointing out his tour dates and
personal appearances are readily available online.
True and one quick search showed me that
he is next playing in Santa Barbara tomorrow and Chula Vista on
Friday where the meet and greet is going for a cool $1134.
Are you in? If yet, mind your Ps and Qs.
No harassing.
Then again, if someone was paying $1134 to harass me, I’d feel
it was a fine exchange.
Capitalism.
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Surfer brutally attacked by shark in
California’s famed marijuana-growing country marking first such
incident in memory!
By Chas Smith
Unchill.
For those who have never been, the state of
California is an incredibly vast, exceedingly diverse slice of
land. San Diego, down south, feels a different world from Los
Angeles which, in turn, feels a different world from San Francisco.
Surfing cultures in Orange County, host of the World Surf League’s
famed Finals Day, Santa Cruz, Lemoore, etc. are as different from
each other as they are from surfing cultures in, say, Brittany,
France.
One of the lesser publicized would have to be those who brave
the cold waters up north in Humboldt county. The region is very
famous for its marijuana growing, more so than wave quality, but
the sparse population makes it appealing for those who enjoy
paddling alone. Though, the intrepid may think twice after a
weekend shark hit critically injured a lonely surfer.
A shark bit a surfer and seriously injured the 31-year-old
male about 3:30 p.m. Sunday at Centerville Beach, according to the
Ferndale Volunteer Fire Department and emergency personnel speaking
over the scanner. The FVFD post stated, “The patient was transported by City
Ambulance to a hospital.”
Emergency personnel speaking over the scanner said that the
surfer had “Code 3 trauma” with a hemorrhage in the upper thigh
that was being controlled with a trauma tourniquet.
The VFD post pointed out, “To [the] recollection of our
membership, we have not had an incident like this. This is a
reminder that there are many hazards to be aware of when you are at
the beach…Please be safe.”
Wishing complete recovery to the surfer but don’t you think the
volunteer fire department’s “reminder” is a touch harsh?
Fairly unchill?
Surprisingly so for Humboldt.
I suppose you can never judge a volunteer fire department by its
cover.