Damning scandal rocks England as program “Operation Surfwell” uncovered; reveals full-time police officers paid to run “disgusting” surfing lessons instead of fight meddlesome crime!

Big, big trouble.

The island nation of England is waking up this morning to a scandal so sticky, so damning, that its sort has not been seen since Rupert Murdoch tapped royal phones and had a little listen in. A bit of eavesdrop and biscuits. Nasty business. The epicenter of these troubles happen to be Cornwall, there on the pendulum’s western bit, where “Operation Surfwell” has been uncovered by a rightly furious wife.

Per Cornwall Live:

With Cornish householders paying extra council tax to fund policing and officer numbers still not back to their pre-austerity level, a policeman’s wife has voiced her horror at discovering ten full-time officers are being funded to run surfing lessons rather than fight crime – at a potential cost to the public of more than £450,000 a year.

A response to her Freedom of Information (FOI) request revealed that ‘Operation Surfwell’, which offers surfing as therapy for emergency services personnel and has been running for three years, cost £68,348 in 2021-22, exclusive of staffing costs – likely to be a further £400,000-plus. Roughly half the bill was met from the force budget and the rest from grants (£32,382) and income from running courses (£5,530).

Ten full-time ‘sworn or warranted’ staff are assigned to the project, with a further five performing a “resilience function” on a limited number of days. Devon and Cornwall Police describes this as “a reallocation of resources” rather than an additional cost. Surfwell, which was first set up in Devon and Cornwall in 2020, was extended to the rest of England and Wales last year because it has proved its worth in helping officers and other emergency services workers overcoming trauma and become better officers for it.

The wife went on to say, “My husband is a police officer who’s constantly under pressure due to lack of staff and being run between job and job. He told me about Op Surfwell, which is a mental heath surf programme set up by the force, but I was disgusted to know that regular police officers have been taken off frontline duties to surf when I believe something like this could be outsourced.”

Or not outsourced. Just scrapped altogether.

It is too early to know if the calumny will be enough to sink the new Rishi Sunak government.

Dark days.

Open Thread: Comment Live, Day Three of the Haleiwa Challenger where professional surfers attempt to discover their special purpose!

Oy vey: In shock pivot away from Ashkenazi roots, beloved Hollywood frontman and “Surf Jew” Jonah Hill Feldstein petitions LA court to lose his German-Polish last name!

"It's almost like irony poisoning!"

Busy days for the body positivist hero, director, funnyman and surf inspiration Jonah Hill whom you last saw on these pages holding a bubble-wrapped longboard while chatting to a pal next to his $90,000 Rivian electric truck, a stark contrast to the luxury 4×4 Mercedes camper van called The Beast the Moneyball star used to hunt waves along the Californian coastline.

Now, in a shock pivot away from his German-Polish Ashkenazi Jewish roots, Hill has submitted a petition for change of name to Los Angeles Superior Court with a hearing set for January 23, 2023. 

To wit, Jonah Hill forever and goodbye Jonah Hill Feldstein.

Hill got his last name from daddy Richard, a famous Hollywood biz manager who ran the accounts for Guns N’ Roses and who advised a thicket of celebs for five decades.

His actor sister Beanie also kept Feldstein, along with his now-dead brother Jordan.

Ironically, Hill surfs with a “Surf Jews California” sticker on one of his foam longboards which serves, he says, as a figurative punch in the nose to Malibu’s traditional Nazi-punk culture.

“It’s almost like irony poisoning,” he told GQ. “All this Malibu surf imagery has swastikas on it which, fuck, is, like, so gnarly so, yo, I said, we should star Surf Jews!”

"Ryan’s injuries were so severe he was airlifted to the John Hunter Hospital in a critical condition where he was then rushed into two major surgeries which saved his life. Ryan’s devoted partner Sophie, family and friends have been traumatised by this malicious and callous attack."

Surf prodigy and father-to-be in critical condition after allegedly being stabbed multiple times on famous Australian beach!

“Ryan’s journey back to health is going to be a long one needing ongoing care, rehabilitation and physiotherapy”

The champion Newcastle surfer Ryan Duck, 35, is in a critical condition after being choppered to hospital and undergoing two major surgeries following his alleged stabbing a little after midnight on Monday night.

Duck, a drop-knee bodyboarder who ain’t afraid to chase overhead barrels, was allegedly attacked and stabbed around midnight while he was fishing with pals at Pacific Palms, an insanely gorgeous cluster of beaches three-and-a-half hours north of Sydney.

Police arrested a man, also 35, five clicks away at six am.

He was taken to Forster police station and charged with wounding a person with intent to cause grievous bodily harm.

The offence carries a penalty of up to twenty-five years in the living hell we call prisons.

Ducky’s pals have set up a GoFundMe with twenty-three gees raised in less than a day, more than doubling the ten gees target. 

The Berry Bro’s who organised the fundraiser wrote,

Ryan’s devoted partner Sophie, family and friends have been traumatised by this malicious and callus attack which nearly stole their beloved ‘Ducky’, soon father to be.

Ryan has come out the other end of this terribly horrific event but his recovery is only just beginning and he has a huge road ahead of him to get back to 100%. Ryan is going to need ongoing care, rehabilitation, physiotherapy and to be off work for several months until he can be back on his feet and regain mobility and strength.

Berry Brothers would like to do what we can to support Ryan and Sophie as they only just begin Ryan’s journey to recovery. With a mortgage over their heads, a baby on the way and on-going care for Ryan, whatever we can spare to support him and his family will go a long way to help one of Newcastle’s most beloved blokes during this time. 

We love you Ryan. You’ve got this, and we are all behind you.

World Surf League CEO Erik Logan (pictured) riding wave of progress. Inset, trans superstar Sasha Jane Lowerson.

Governing body for Olympic surfing releases policy officially banning transgender women with elevated testosterone levels from competing in women’s events!

World Surf League remains a bastion of freedom.

Days ago, the International Surfing Association, recognized governing body for Olympic surfing, released its official policy regarding transgender athletes participation in contests that read thusly:

A surfer assigned male at birth – and/or – who identifies as a man and has man/male on his national identity card or passport is eligible to compete in a men’s event or as a man in a mixed event;

A surfer assigned female at birth – and/or – who identifies as a woman and has woman/female on her national identity card or passport is eligible to compete in a woman’s event or as a woman in a mixed event;

A surfer assigned male at birth who identifies as a woman and has woman/female on her national identity card or passport is eligible to compete in a men’s event or as a man in a mixed event if she has not met the requirements to compete in a woman’s event (such as maintaining testosterone level less than 5 nmol/l continuously for the previous 12 months);

A surfer assigned male at birth who identifies as a woman and has man/male or “other” or “X” on their national identity card or passport is eligible to compete in a men’s event or as a man in a mixed event;

In order to compete in a woman’s event or as a woman in a mixed event, where either:

A surfer who was assigned male at birth and whose gender has changed and identifies as a woman – and/or has woman/female, “other” or “X” – on her national identity card or passport;


The athlete has otherwise been required by the executive committee and/or medical commission to establish eligibility to compete in a women’s event;The athlete must satisfy the ISA medical commission that her serum testosterone concentration has been less than 5 nmol/L continuously for the previous 12 months and meets any other requirements reasonably set by the executive committee and/or medical commission.

Of most note, I suppose, is the bit about testosterone levels.

According to The Inertia, these guidelines are “liberal” compared to other sport governing bodies. Or, rather, other sport governing bodies not named World Surf League which continues to have no policy at all.

Oh, you certainly remember the thrill brought to so many when Australia’s Sasha Jane Lowerson went on an incredible winning streak, taking prestigious longboarding contest after prestigious longboarding contest.

She became the first transgender surfer to ever win an event, much less multiple, and all seemed bright aside from the snark.

The World Surf League, I suppose, now a bastion of gender freedom as compared to the ISA.

Who would have thought?