"My mom lost feeling in her jaw and tongue and in her hands and feet."

A few days back, the Australian press went after Kelly Slater after he teed off on COVID vaccines despite recent revelations the vaccines may not have been the miracles they were promised, heart attacks now as common as catching a cold, athletes collapsing mid-game and so on. 

Now, and in the same interview referenced by the Aussie press where he was labeled a “cooker” or conspiracy theorist, Slater has detailed his mother’s shock reaction to the vaccine and says a pal’s mom is slowly being killed by the Pfizer vax.

 

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“A number of people I know died,” the just-turned fifty one year old said. “I know a doctor who stopped administering it in Australia because two or three of his patients died on the Sunshine Coast. My mom was personally affected. She lost feeling in her jaw and tongue and in her hands and feet. She has what seems to be some type of transverse myelitis (a neurological condition caused by an inflamed spine).

“My friend’s mother from Barbados is in hospital right now in Florida and she’s dying slowly from the affects of the Pfizer vaccine. She’s on a quick dark, downward spiral and they don’t know how to fix it.”

Slater says he now fears the libertine west is on a sharp slide into a dark authoritarian place.

“It’s baffling to me that anyone would be forced to have a vaccine to keep their career, their job, their schooling, their place in society, their ability to go buy food in the store, all these things… it’s like a dystopian society to me. And I don’t think people realise that because it comes on in small waves and get you condition ed to being okay with this and then this and then this and then this rule.”

Not that he’s gonna ban the vax or tell you what to do with your own body.

“Man, it’s wild, but if you want the vaccine go get it. That’s fine. I’d rather you not because if something did happen, you can’t really reverse it, but force it onto me or my loved ones and don’t make me out to be a bad person because of it. ‘Cause if it works then you’re fine and you shouldn’t worry about me.” 

Two things I want to take out of this.

One, if it ain’t true and Pfizer can prove it, it won’t take much for their squad of lawyers to orchestrate his ruin via the sledgehammer of a defamation trial. What’s Slater worth? Thirty mill?

If they don’t touch it, what’s that mean?

Pfizer is a champion of free speech or they ain’t so confident about their miracle juice?

I don’t have skin in the game, neither pro or anti-vax, and only got the jabs so I could go outside, travel, hit the gym etc, but, man, every little murmur in the chest, every tingle in the arms, well, it feels like your weathered old pal is nearing the end of the line.

Remember me when I’m gone.

I pray Slater is wrong.

"The girl says her legrope broke but CLEARLY there is a massive issue in our town with people not wearing them."

The ongoing battle between VALS living the retro-nostalgia dream of riding leashless logs in crowded lineups and regular joes wanting to swish around on a few waves without being decapitated continues following the near-death of pro surfer Matt Cassidy at Wategos a few days back.

Cassidy, who is forty-nine, in his own words, “nearly bled out on the beach and nearly lost my arm when someone dropped in one me out two-foot Wategos without a legrope. After an hour on the beach being held together by some absolutely legendary humans I was rushed via ambulance then helicopter to GC where I’m currently awaiting specialist advice.”

In a post yesterday, Cassidy gave an update on his condition, thrilled, obviously, surgeons weren’t forced to amputate his arm thanks to quick-thinking spectators using a legrope for a tourniquet.

“I am at home now and they’ve managed to save the arm. We aren’t sure of the extent of the injury long term but I’ll attack rehab the same way I do everything else. • With everything I’ve got. It’s an emotional time and I just want to take a second to address the girl involved in this horrible accident.
I hold you no bad will, I saw your face on the beach and I have no doubt you have learned a lesson. You have my total forgiveness and compassion as long as you practice safe surf etiquette for the rest of your surfing life.

I’d ask the community to do the same in regards to her but let’s continue the surf safety conversation this accident has started. We clearly need better education and management in the surf.

If three things can come out of this I’d wish they be these:

1. I get full use of my arm back so I can surf again.

2. That people look on the inside twice before even paddling for a wave. Kids look both ways before they even step onto a road to cross it, the surf should be no different.

3. As I’ve stated, I’ll accept that the girl says her legrope broke but CLEARLY there is a massive issue in our town with people not wearing them. Read the comments around my injury posts, there’s been a litany of injuries to children, wives, mothers, husbands, partners from people losing their boards because they are too egotistical to wear a safety device. Please let’s get this mandated and back it up with strong education.”

 

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Question: is it ever acceptable in these busy days to surf leashless and, further, what do you think goes through the mind of anyone taking a log to a crowded lineup sans leash?

"You will love spending your time just relaxing in a spot that is virtually unknown except to the very very lucky few."

The bass-player-cum-clown of funk-rock act The Red Hot Chilli Peppers, a first-class band with a savage vitality that was formed in Los Angeles in 1982 and has shifted 120 million records over thirty years, has sold his beachfront compound on NSW’s far south coast, a joint designed for the express purpose of Keeping the Master Happy At His Work; or, more bluntly, indulging the small child that lurks within every creative man.

The Australian-born Flea, lesser known as sixty-year-old Michael Balzary from Melbourne, bought the half-acre beachfront spread at 775 Congo Road, Congo, five hours drive south of Sydney and halfway to the Victorian border, almost thirty years ago in 1994.

Flea and New Zealand architect Malcolm Cheadle designed the five-bedder with the roof designed to look like a cuttlefish and with wooden floors sourced from the old Parliament House in near-ish by Canberra.

“It has a rock-star vibe to it but also a relaxed holiday feeling that is really suited to the village of Congo,” selling agent James Hamilton said.“Flea has written a lot of music at the property and has had band members, jamming in what was the music room downstairs. It has a contemporary Californian design that sprawls out towards the ocean with amazing views and really compliments the natural environment.”

(Ed’s note: A subsequent email from the architect’s daughter Paloma said “an incredible team of craftsmen came together to build that house. That stunning copper staircase was made by a Calabrian blacksmith from Sydney Francesco Petrolo.” Also RHCP-adjacent is Malcolm Cheadle’s relationship with the band’s frontman Anthony Keidis.  “Anthony seemed to have a very natural, energetic fit with New Zealand. They spent quite a bit of time searching for the perfect coastal site on the Coromandel peninsula, but Anthony ended up buying the property on the Kaipara that he wrote about in his autobiography.”)

If you’d peeled open the marketing brochure you’d learn the place was,

“Situated in Congo on 2946sqm (approx. half an acre) of land and bordering National Park on one side and beach on the other, you will love spending your time, just relaxing in a spot that is virtually unknown except to the very very lucky few. The custom-designed home opens to a magnificent entry with a bespoke spiral copper and steel staircase connecting two double-storey wings. Beautifully maintained, the property has undergone extensive updates over the past years. Its features include an open fireplace with stone detailing and a master retreat featuring a luxe ensuite with a mosaic-tiled plunge bath. Bi-fold doors open to an alfresco terrace with views across the property. There is also a multipurpose sports court.”

With a price guide of three-million Australian dollars, a sale figure somewhat north of that was expected despite Australia’s plunging property market.

However, you get what you get, and when you remove the rabid desperation of a housing bubble, which ended six months ago, buyers become remarkably subdued.

After a little to-ing and fro-ing, 775 Congo Road, sold for $2.475 million, Australian dollars, one point seven US.

A screaming bargain.