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Epic beach shack on a sprawling quarter-acre of manicured lawn with Instagram-worthy swimming pool and fronting secret wave lists for astonishing $89,000!

"Grow fruits and vegetables. Barter with your neighbours. Fresh fish abounds from the local fishermen. World-class surfing!"

On a mid-autumn day where the heavens are hidden by gloomy dismal clouds and the hands and fingers are so benumbed that a man can’t hold himself, thoughts, naturally, turn to a new life in the tropics. 

For the American surfer the head pivots toward Central America, specifically gorgeous Costa Rica with its multi-fronted coastline, Pacific and Caribbean, stable governance and little of the misery and squalor of El Salvador or Nicaragua. 

And, here, we find a pretty little beach shack on nine-thousand square feet of manicured lawn, complete with swimming pool, fronting Playa Zancudo and just a few miles north of the CR’s best wave Pavones.

Yours for $89,000.

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The sales literature promise “an easy paced lifestyle with healthy living…this area still has dirt roads so everything slows down. No rush no hurry! Lots of permaculture. Grow a variety of fruits and vegetables. Buy, barter, with your neighbours. Fresh fish abounds from the local fishermen. World-class surfing and fishing. Beachbreaks to endless points. Beach life or river life.”

Pretty Little Beach Shack For Under One Hundred Gees!
Tiny swim pool with sultress!
Tiny Swim Pool With Sultress!

I can hardly wait to slip into my khaki shorts and find a swarthy, bare-legged woman to spend the rest of my days with in this idyll, the pair of us eating crab tacos, spearfishing and so on.

Have you jumped the fence and climbed into Costa Rica?

Is it the fairyland it presents?

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44 Comments
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Mike

Spent 6 weeks there a couple years ago, lot of fun waves and still not gringoed overwhelmed. Couple points not just the hyped one.

SeverelyLtd

Yer reading this wrong. Kelly is jockeying for Harris’ spot, showing his bona fides for a DeSantis/Slater ticket. I’m not telling how I know, but trust me. Wouldn’t surprise me if Hippy has a Huffpo link hinting as much.

JMcG

You need to hire an editor.

samwaters

Go back and read it—didn’t sound funny in the least.
Maybe you can explain the joke to me.

Rich Marx

If google maps is correct “Playa Zancudo” is right next to “Estero Sucio.” Costa Ricans really know how to name places I guess.

JSC

“Mosquito Beach” next to the “Dirty Estuary” – specially priced, for ignorant gringos.

Craven Morehead

🎯

Black Rubber

Couple notes…”Zancudo” means mosquito – note the massive fresh water river coming through behind the spit. Also, this is deep in the gulf. It gets surf but its hardly pointbreak adjacent, hence the price.

Jim Habig

Plenty of empty surf right here. Two world class left hand points nearby.
https://uploads.disquscdn.c…

Black Rubber

There is surf, no doubt, but its much more fickle than made out to be. That said, lots of empty beachbreak there that occasionally has its day,

Rocks local

haven’t been back since the early 90s, but had some epic trips down there. Pretty uncrowded back then, surfed around dominical without another surfer in sight for days.

Low wide stinkbug stance

Costa rica is awesome as its “latin america lite”.

Not the most authentic place in the world, as you will see if you go to “tamagringo” and buy “nachos as big as your ass”. But if you cant speak spanish for shit, well you could do worse.

Jim Habig

This is the deep southern zone right next to the Panama border. Pretty authentic with more ticos than gringos unlike some parts of Guanacaste.

Jim Habig
Skippy

Definitely worth a gander, probably snapped up already, anything under $100,000 that’s decent is the Russian and Israeli style. Cash takes it quick.

Jim Habig

As of this hour it is available. Can’t say in a couple of hours.

Otto

Why are you selling?

Jim Habig

The owner is busy in the states.

Otto

Ahhh…you mean 18-24 months in the clink.

NEGATRON

You seem quite invested in this Jim, care to explain?

Jim Habig

Sure. I have lived here several times and think it is an amazing place with empty a-frame peaks up and down the beach. I want a cool surfer to get this gem. Then maybe I will have someone to surf with.
Disclaimer: I own International Surf Properties and this is the deal.

samwaters

Does it break all year, or just on a south?

Beef & Beer
The Bitchy Crab

Eerie.

Beef & Beer

Uncanny, even

Low wide stinkbug stance

Christ Derek, let me go to the Surfers Journal surf listings page and help you out. Should keep you occupied for an article a day for about 6 months.

The Bitchy Crab

This came via unsolicited email but, yes, I do enjoy TSJ’s real estate listings. Is this little gem in there?

Jim Habig

TSJ? I only read Beach Grit. This property is an International Surf Properties exclusive…

Low wide stinkbug stance

There’s a nice little place at Hollister Ranch for 11.5 mil.

christopherkreschollek

Sure. Let me get out my checkbook.

Jim Habig

Bitcoin accepted

JSC

Costa Ricans lie, cheat and steal like everyone else in Central and South America – they are just more discreet and civilised about it, not as brazen as the Brasileiros, as greedy as the Colombians or as vicious as the Mexicans.

@surfads

Yes at least Nicaraguans will stab you in the front.

But I would lie cheat and steal from YT too if I were them.

Sell out

Is that reciprocated to all the foreigners in oz?

The Bitchy Crab

Compared to Nicaragua and El Salvador, ghastly reputations, how does it rate?

Fukkada Bong

Compared to Nica and El Salvador, Costa Rica is pura vida.

JSC

Costa Rica never developed the extreme social inequality of El Salvador and Nicaragua, where land ownership was concentrated in a few Spanish-connected families and everyone else was a peasant, just trying to survive, a legacy of extreme inequality that survives to this day.

Hence, Costa Rica is far more popular with foreigners as they see echoes of their own more equal and representative societies in CR – not the blatant exploitation and dehumanising poverty of Nicaragua and El Salvador.

Thus, Costa Rica has always been able to attract more foreign investment and gringos who pack up their life in the US, Canada or western Europe to move there, and are quite comfortable once they arrive, even if they don’t habla español very well, if at all –

Rich Marx

One thing that really surprised me as a dumbass from the USA is just how different the central American countries are from one another. I just assumed it would be like the US and Canada. But the differences are more stark than the US and the UK.

Gadoot

Never developed those issues because they never had a strong push towards socialism that all their Nieghbor’s had. Their Nieghbor’s got fucked by the USA for it and now look at them.

Jim Habig

No comparison. Pura Vida.

NEGATRON

Once you open your mouth you’ll be fine. I found as soon as they realised you’re not American, doors opened.

samwaters

Unless something prejudicial is said, then you might not be fine.

samwaters

The moderator is editing (changing the words) in the comments again.

Hippy

Tired joke of yours still makes me laugh


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