"Jumbled surf and unfavorable wind."

The third stop on the World Surf League Championship Tour allegedly kicks off in mere hours though surf fans, around the globe, are in no way encouraged to drop what they’re doing, call in sick for work, update internet service provider, no. For the third time in a row, the forecast has been labeled “dog shit” by the League’s official partner Surfline.

The just-released “brief overview” reads:

TUES 4th: Modest yet fun surf, clean in AM – Possible run for at least AM
WED 5th: Smaller surf and with onshore wind – likely off
THURS 6th: New/modest swell but wind problematic – Possible run for at least AM
FRI 7th: Smaller, easing surf but clean – Possible run for at least AM
SAT/SUN 8th-9th: Possible rise of jumbled surf and unfavorable wind — likely off

“Modest yet fun” being the best Surfline could conjure.

“Problematic” and “unfavorable” carrying the day.

But what could have happened between a relationship once crowned with absurd positive fantasy? A marriage based upon seeing the brighter side and by “brighter side” I mean an absurd positive fantasy?

Surf fans clearly remember even just last year, and the years before, wherein  Surfline would praise whatever the forecast was using the fruitiest of nonsense. Two-foot and dumping became ten-foot and reeling. Flat became rippable.

Now?

Jumbled surf and unfavorable wind is merely jumbled surf and unfavorable wind but how did the union between World Surf League and Surfline officials sour so… publicly?

Did the forecasters, themselves, push back as their good names became synonymous with Erik “Flimflam” Logan?

Did the Surfline brass realize that the momentum is not, in fact, real?

Questions we can bandy about as we tune in to modest surf in mere hours, I suppose.

Like Oliver Twist.

Surf fans’ excitement surrounding the just-released tickets for the upcoming Surf Ranch Pro has not yet begun to abate, though a new worry is percolating just beneath the surface. As you know, the World Surf League Championship Tour heads to Lemoore, California after the Australian leg. Surfers who have survived the dreaded “mid-season cut” will be rewarded with a no expense paid trip to inland central California where they will be met with lousy weather and cow stink.

Surf fans, too, can join them and very exciting but also troubling for the finer print clearly demonstrates that the World Surf League is intent on participating in the now-frowned upon activity of “grom abuse.”

Those “in the know” are certainly aware of the practice wherein surfing children are cuffed, dropped in upon, vigorously splashed in the lineup. The World Surf League, though, appears to be planning on moving that brand of injustice to land.

The Surf Ranch Pro ticket packages, you see, have both general admission and VIP varietals. The general admission comes in two sizes: Adult (18+) for $24.99 and Grom (-17) for $12.50. All fine and well…. except.

Groms are not allowed to be very important at a discounted price.

Per the League:

As a VIP, you’ll have access to elevated food options as well as the VIP-only bar. Stay comfortable with air-conditioned restrooms and enjoy the convenience of a VIP parking pass. Additionally, VIP ticket holders will receive a free custom hat at the WSL Official Store to remember your experience.

– VIP access to the event on Saturday May 27 and Sunday May 28.
– VIP space and lounge
– Elevated food options for purchase
– Access to VIP-only bar
– VIP-only air conditioned restrooms
– VIP parking pass
– Merchandise benefit: free custom hat at the WSL Official Store
– Note there is no Grom option for VIP. Children under 2 may accompany parents into the VIP area without a pass. Groms older than two must hold a VIP ticket.

Again, “Note there is no Grom option for VIP.”

No elevated food options. No air conditioned restrooms. No happy memories of the experience from a free custom hat unless that Grom shells out the full $499.00 plus $21.86 fee.

What sort of Grom is sitting on that kinda loot?

Extremely harsh.

Like Oliver Twist.

In other news, how do you feel about the World Surf League using “cool” talk like “Grom” in official correspondence?

Hang loose.

"Huntington Beach gonna Huntington Beach."

The old adage “Huntington Beach gonna Huntington Beach” proved, once again, true on the very first day of April as a pro-Trump rally became bloodied by anti-Trump activists swinging skateboards. According the the Los Angeles Times, a group of 40 fans of the ex-United States President gathered together to wave flags reading “Make America Great Again” and sing songs featuring the chorus “God bless Trump” as a sign of rage over the aforementioned’s recent indictment.

The sun shone overhead and the nearby waves, though small, provided the perfect canvas for Huntington Hopping.

Then, out of nowhere, all hell broke absolutely loose.

Two men described by those at the scene as “Radical Left Democrats” came rushing into the happy camp, skateboards waving wildly over head, connecting with a few red capped skulls.

A man driving a BMW also threw a bottle of water at the group.

This was not the first time violence has broken out between Trump likers and dislikers in Surf City, USA.

Six years ago, tempers flared at a march leaving many with hurt feelings.

Back to yesterday’s troubles, though, Michelle Henney who was there and also claimed to be at our nation’s Capitol Building on January 6th, told the Times that Trump was innocent and his impending arrest a “Witch Hunt.”

“If he had a booger in his nose, they’d arrest him for indecent exposure,” she said.

Yucky.

Surf fans, while saddened by the dustup, are more worried about the fate of the U.S. Open of Surfing. Traditionally hosted in Huntington Beach, the World Surf League Challenger Series event has recently lost its title sponsor. With its July 29 through August 6 window still months away, there is hope that a major player will come in and bolster professional surf hopefuls.

Possibly Bailey Ladders.

THE MOMENTUM IS REAL.