"I like turtles."
Kelly Slater is well-known for myriad equally good reasons. He is the winningest ever professional surfer, oldest Pro Pipeline, longtime dater of a Chinese girlfriend, heavy social media censor and world’s worst entrepreneur. But might the Florida-born 11x champion being trying to change the narrative on the ultimate in the above list by also altering the penultimate?
For days ago we learned of the launch of footwear brand KLLY, its first offering a eco-sandal inspired from the surface of the moon and sea turtle shells. An odd combination, quite possibly doomed like Purps before it and K-Grips before that, except Slater has decided to unblock certain surf industry personalities from his Instagram account quite possibly to receive some free advertising and send those sandals flying off shelves.
A major shift.
The “Dikembe Mutumbo of Meta” loves, maybe more than anything other than fortifying his North Shore homes, disallowing folk from enjoying his musings. He sends many into perpetual timeout with a snappy aside like, “And now you’re blocked.” Or just, “Blocked.”
While I am certainly still locked out, the notable surf podcaster David Lee Scales has had his jail sentence overturned, Slater allowing him full access once more.
How long will it last?
We discussed his sandal during out latest weekly chat, even hearing from the GOAT himself explaining his design choices. The aforementioned moon, its cycles and turtles. You can listen in at the 39:40 mark and it really is an odd ramble.
David Lee immediately likened it to a classic video of a young boy referencing turtles for zero reason, drawing similarities to Slater.
I’d imagine he’ll be re-blocked come sun up.
All back right with the world.
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Last drinks cunts.
https://youtu.be/X2WH8mHJnhM
tastes like chickens
https://www.dumpaday.com/wp…
sunblock on✅
chasblock on✅
They have interesting moon phase influenced shell design so I’ve learned in the past 48 hrs.
I like turtles too!
Next item: dolphin inspired KYLLE Wetsuits.
“I’ve always loved dolphins, cause, they’re mammals and live in the ocean, and they look so comfortable in the water so you know.. I thought let’s have a mammal inspired steamer for humans with a hood and optional blowhole for warm days. I feel maybe this is synchronicity in some way. The KYLLE entry model is the sustainability model made from repurposed captured carbon from my travels around the world. It’ll retail at $759.99 US.”
sydney to john wayne OC airport…CANCELLED
LAX only!
yum , dolphin steaks with Turtle soup……maybe a chance for a sustainable restaurant chain?
don’t let the sun go down on me…Kiki Dee or Maria Mauldaur ….
Midnight at the oasis
Send your camel to bed
Shadows painting our faces
Traces of romance in our heads
Heaven’s holding a half moon
Shining just for us
Let’s slip off to
A sand dune, real soon
And kick up a little dust
Come on, cactus is our friend
He’ll point out the way…
AFTER THE DRUG TEST
Maria belongs to my health club. Swims laps in the indoor pool every morning.
pass along a kiss and a hug…to you’s both
Lemon salt fried flippers!
What’s to dislike?
UPS home is late w/ osysters (cracked) pound of halibut, and some opah…ordered pizza delivery. delegate~
Without free press?
Democracy dies!
His obviously well and truly under Chinese control.
Never, ever forget Pearl Harbour!!!
The problem with Slater in a nutshell?
He cares what David Lee Scales thinks of him.
Who is DLS?
Slater forgot that he is the coolest. He never has to try again.
If Kelly just sank into being the sick cunt he actually is, quit the dumb circus tour and let a grom who needs a spot in, and make the best vlog known to man/woman/she/him/them/they/zim/zur.. he could take Rando’s to the best waves in the world, let ‘em get stand up shacks while he yews and cries tears of empathetic joy from the channel for their stoke and inspire a whole new generation, ie, be an agent of benevolent chill. It’s what we as surfers deserve from our Emperor/King. Pax Slatara.
But nah..ego and such.
zactly. I always envied his lifestyle. Who could touch him, coming back from unknown Macaroni’s to the next tour spot?
If Only he knew Rogan and could get some advice.
Rogan would tell him to fuck off the competitions, start a podcast/vlog and give him some advice similar to mine to cement himself as a king among men. A true leader. Swear, the Ke11y vlog strike missions with average “joes” would be an enduring way to leave a mark complimenting his 11 titles. Since we here at BG are all technically a mere 3 degrees from Rogan, (DR, Chas, Slats/Dorian/ Rogez) I think Joe needs to know what we think.
Fcuk! Klly dkny rvca vstr ok?
low batteries…
Drp lettrs to reman cvvl..
translation- drop or replace letters to remain or appear cool. Brain dead shit.
Rp Crl
Blocking someone is whatever..
Unblocking is living in someone’s head rent free.
Well done DLS.
https://www.youtube.com/wat…
megyn kelley or cherize theory?
Reading that he created a new company, I was just wondering whether his new biz would have as awesome corporate retreats as the Outerknown variety…. https://uploads.disquscdn.c…
no penis envy?
KLLY*
*no vowels were hurt making this product
isnt Y kind of a vowel?
Reminds me of CKY, camp kill yourself
burgers…water,,,
https://youtu.be/6giiYDlqRQs
Have they found Bam yet? Read he ran into a forest while being pursued by cops but then lost interest. That was a few weeks ago.
Never ending train wreck
VSTR worked well, no wait, it didn’t!