A Dirk Ziff wet dream.
The World Surf League has failed spectacularly in its entertainment offering. As you certainly recall, Oklahoman Erik Logan, who was hired a handful of years ago from Oprah Winfrey’s OWN to head “WSL Studios,” gave many interviews about synergies, pivoting, narratives and vectors. Professional surfing was going to gain a massive major following based upon content offerings that would showcase fascinating characters and gorgeous tableaus.
Well, the whole business was quickly shuttered, Logan became CEO, reality show The Ultimate Surfer, fruit of vectors and synergies and content, came out and deeply embarrassed anyone attached. Make or Break, the couldn’t-miss program brought by the people who made F1 popular in America, got canned after its second season and that’s all.
Pure defeat.
Thankfully, we have Nicolas Cage. The award-winning Hollywood megastar has made us all laugh, cry, feel for decades and now turning his attention to our Sport of Kings. Per The Hollywood Reporter, the 59-year-old is set to star in beach-based psychological thriller The Surfer, which is described thusly:
In The Surfer, when a man (Cage) returns to his beachside hometown in Australia, many years since building a life for himself in the U.S., he is humiliated in front of his teenage son by a local gang of surfers who claim strict ownership over the secluded beach of his childhood. Wounded, “The Surfer” decides to remain at the beach, declaring war against those in control of the bay. But as the conflict escalates, the stakes spin wildly out of control, taking “The Surfer” to the edge of his sanity.
Die grumpy locals, die.
We will all, no doubt, watch the film and you, Australian brothers, may be asked to appear as themselves.
Screw you, Dirk Ziff.
Suck it, Erik Logan.
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Each cookie will crumble as it may. And THAT, is what you read here. Surfing, like Rock & Roll is here to stay. We need more movies with good acting, good stories, and great surfing, be they Comedy or Tragedy. I will see ‘The Surfer” and take it from there.
He’s only going to unblock people he needs. Kelly is eventually going to start his own surf podcast, surf news mag, and website. Plus he’s gonna predict the waves and give surf reports around the world. You all gonna be crying then. Prolly just cuz he’ll lie on the reports and snake the best spots, but you’ll be crying.
If Nick is in your cast, do you automatically qualify for B movie?
Do you expect to see John Van Damm or Vin Diesel as cameo villian’s? In this case, Bra boys?
Tattoo’s on their bloated stomachs? Hard to still read, but sloppy chic?
Let me guess, the female lead starred in Melrose Place.
One life to live?
Will he do shoeys and spit the winkle?
Oh wait, it’s no longer an Australian specialist hobby.
https://www.guinnessworldre…
A feature film about extreme localism – they don’t need to go to Australia, they could use Lunada Bay or Seaside in Oregon for the location.
Or a certain jetty around chas’ hometown. Saw a guy pull up on a California pro on his quad after being backpaddled 10 or 15 times. Guy was just enjoying his post surf beer and got a punch right in the jaw. He then sped off on his quad. I went and checked on the guy and he said it happens too him all the time, no worries.
I wonder if they need a grumpy local lighting their farts?
That’s actually pretty good.
rookie badge. of the year!
Sounds like a great unintended sequel to The Unbearable Weight of Massive Talent. If you haven’t seen that movie, it’s Cage at his most awesomeness.
Nic cage is hollywood’s caio ibelli. Not just the receding hairlines and volatile career results, but they both have this relatable, down to earth charisma, flippin burgers to pay the bills.
And very few can act the crazy/manic/meltdown persona like him.
Hope he’s not a total dick in real life.
They need to cast the BG crew as extras. Either that, or Cage can read the comments on a DR tranny piece and that will drive him insane, to help with his method acting.
Glenn “micro” Hall to play the leader of Aussie surf gang?
He’ll play the part of an Leprechaun/ Tinkerbell.
Here’s a behind the scenes shot of Cage in rehearsals for his upcoming beach-based cinematic masterpiece.
https://uploads.disquscdn.c…
Word on set is that he’s really been getting his teeth into the ‘roll’…
Cage should be about ready for recurring roles on Hallmark channel
cage impersonators, the tunnel, f..ing John Harvard
https://youtu.be/BMtD519hdV…
Nick Cage movies are so bad they are good. Can’t wait.
Watch Renfield. You won’t be disappointed by how awesomely absurd he is as Dracula.
Lord of War maybe an exception.
Valley Girl, Raising Arizona, and Moonstuck all excellent but otherwise I’d rather watch Keanu Reeves than Nic Cage and I hate Keanu Reeves
Sggest you watch con air again 😀 the all-star cast absolutely make the film. I mean youve got john malkovich sneering “say… onara” before flicking a burning match on a guy covered in jet fuel. These actors are all fucking around with a turd of a script and loving it.
Face off is even more ridiculous. Especially the end where they adopt the kid like they are replacing their dead labrador with a puppy.
Cage definitely needs to have a swing at the cheesy B movies about surfing genre. There’s a compelling argument that Cage’s long run of crappy flicks is the most interesting part of his career. https://podcasts.apple.com/…
This should be in the SciFi/Fantasy category if the plot is that an Australian break has become more localized today than it was decades ago.
Also, us seppos have clearly won if Hollywood is casting Nicky Cage as an Australian surfer.
Nic approaching the line-up while drawing the full attention of the other birds: Surf’s Up 2
https://scontent-sjc3-1.xx….
I got to hand it to Cage. He is consistent. And by consistent I mean consistently never turning down a movie role.
Got to give him credit for doing what he needed to do to climb out of his $6million debt hole. He got massacred by the ’08 financial crisis like many, but didn’t take the easy way out declaring bankruptcy. He just accepted every crummy role that came his way. I respect that.
plot twist, the locals are trans
Trans-plants from Oklahoma!
I certainly identify as a trans-someone-wot-doesn’t-surf-no-more.
transforming, like species…the tits on that alien!
your wishes come true..they’re both in a new vamp movie…end of earth stuff…oh The Marvel!