Though you would never guess from BeachGrit and its regular flow wildly salacious stories, surfing, by and large, is not very scandalous. Oh certainly, there is the Scandoval implicating Mr. Pipeline Gerry Lopez, world’s worst entrepreneur Kelly Slater lending his name (minus vowels) to yet another soon-to-be-struggling business venture, surf fans getting repeatedly burned by hot wax etc. but, otherwise, the Sport of Kings is relatively tame.
You can imagine my shock, then, yesterday, when I read a blaring headline declaring “Josh Burke banned from all surfing competitions for rest of year.” Immediately I began to imagine what horrible crime the Barbadian standout, and current number seventeen on Qualifying Series (according the the World Surf League), Josh Burke had committed.
The twenty-six year old was last seen barely losing to Brazilian champion Italo Ferreira at last year’s Surf City El Salvador Pro but what had he done thereafter?
Absconding with top secret documents from the White House and failing to properly store them?
Deadnaming Elliot Page?
I then began to skim:
Josh Burke has been slapped with a ban from all local surfing competitions for the remainder of this year.
President of the Barbados Surfing Association (BSA) Paul Bourne confirmed the news to BARBADOS TODAY moments ago, after a meeting between BSA officials, the athlete and a representative, along with the Barbados Olympic Association.
Bourne said the disciplinary action against Barbados’ best surfer is with immediate effect following a reported allegation which suggest that Burke and coach Allan Burke left their national duties in Panama at the 2023 Pan American Surfing Games in a premature fashion while still in the competition.
Rubbing my disbelieving eyes, I read again.
…a reported allegation which suggest that Burke and coach Allan Burke left their national duties in Panama at the 2023 Pan American Surfing Games in a premature fashion while still in the competition.
While that sinks in, please prepare yourself for thirty stories on who reported the allegation, the tone of the suggestion, the scope of national duties and how pre the premature.