Money moves.
The Gold Coast Pro, there stage right of Snapper Rocks, will officially kick off today, by all accounts, and professional surfers are ready. As you know, Coolangatta’s most famous wave once commenced the entire Association of Surfing Professionals then World Surf League Championship Tour season. There was a gilded ball in nearby Surfers Paradise, first, then many fine performances in the water before the production moved south to Bells.
Alas, those were different time. Since, a smarmy Oklahoman has decided that Snapper ain’t good enough and relegated it to the scrub Challenger Series. It’s value, now, based upon the fact that it is the first stop after the new “mid-season cull” and allows beheaded professional surfers their first possibility of redemption.
Points toward requalification.
Nat Young, Zeke Lau, Jackson Baker, Michele Rodrigues et. al. will be surfing in the round of 64 after their decapitations. 11x world champion Kelly Slater will be surfing there too even though it is unnecessary for him so to do. The aforementioned smarmy Oklahoman, World Surf League Chief of Executives Erik Logan, changed the rules overnight allowing the 51-year-old to earn points from wildcard entries into Championship Tour events and then gave him wildcard entries into ALL Championship Tour events.
Sneaky.
But there he is anyhow, in the round of 64, heat 12.
Now, most of the hopefuls have been in town for days, warming their legs and spirits on Snapper’s lengthy rights though a terror has reared its head.
Enforcing locals.
We will see how this affects Young, Lau, Baker, Rodrigues et. al. but Kelly Slater took absolutely no chance. He chose, instead, to warm up at The Lineup at Wai Kai.
Just west of Honolulu, The Lineup is said to be “the world’s deepest standing wave” and sources on the ground declare that Slater very much enjoyed the experience, even tiring himself out on an extremely long ride.
He was, anyhow, on a flight to Australia yesterday and will likely be ready to “earn” his way back to the bigs.
Get excited.
But, quickly, does Slater’s excursion to, and approval of, The Lineup make you want to sample? It sure does me.
See you there.
Snapper is such a Queensland wave not enough power to skin a banana, that’s why all kooks flock there.
Waves of no consequence, I might have to add it to my proposed Notkown tour , the tour for dumb cunts brought to you by dumb cunts.
What-ewa…
Slater dislocated, Chaz beware
He not even in the draw no more Chazzzer…
what, no clickbait headline on this hot off the presses WashPo banger of a Mav’s story featuring our very own Paul taublieb?? https://www.washingtonpost….
Not to mention that there was no Bailey’s ladder or safety gear when they were putting up the heat draw. Cause for concern?
https://uploads.disquscdn.c…
Oops again, Chas.
Oops, Eddie.
Haha. Ja hurry, Eddy is waiting for you Chaz.
We are one ocean should have a carbon offset calculator on there website so we could see how many trees he needs to plant to offset his flight from Australia to Hawaii for a week to surf a man made wave before then flying right back to Australia.
Check the Sultans 747.
I think were good.
https://youtu.be/CIexDKT3gvM
Hypocrisy autocracy.
‘We are one Ocean’ is dead in the water. Rebranded as ‘One Ocean’ to align the newly formed partnership with those environmental crusaders at Shisedo. They should also add a planned obsolescence calculator for all those t-shirts, posters and billboards that go to landfill every time they scrap an idea.
Streamlining business names is all the rage
re: Homeless in Hawaii
“Surfers are never homeless ’cause the ocean is our home…”
That was my motto in the mid 70s while living off food stamps, long-line fishing, landscaping and growing it. Unfortunately, the big Island doesn’t have any waves to hide in, so i was subequently busted (nearly), and used my last $220 for a midnight nosebleed flight back to LAX. Esssential lessons learned!
For a guy who can’t stand losing, Kelly knows he stands a good chance of winning preparing at a standing wave.
“Michele Rodrigues”? 😬😬😬
Where’s Tanner?
they like ‘beefed.’