"No one wants to be homeless or without a job, without a place to go every day, without a future, that's not paradise."

Who needs a homeless haole, am I right?

The Hawaiian state gov, pragmatists who know the fabled island chain is a magnet for the destitute ‘cause if you’re poor y’might as well be warm instead of freezing to death back home on the mainland, plans to ramp up its program of shipping mainlanders back to where the hell they came from.

“It saves the state millions of dollars in the finite amount of resources we have for our local homeless,” Rep. John Mizuno told Local 8. “We’re getting them back to their family, their support group where the homeless can get back on their feet.”

The program was launched in 2015 to tamp down on Waikiki’s growing homeless problem, with out-of-state JOJ’s swelling numbers. So far 599 out-of-staters have been given seats home on Southwest airline jets.

In a piece for KITV4, two Boston men, Michael McCann and Michael French, spoke of living on the Honolulu streets.

“No one wants to be homeless or without a job, without a place to go every day, without a future,” McCann said. “I mean, that’s not paradise. That’s torture. Everybody needs to have help, absolutely. If you could help anybody here get back home. People are suffering here.”

His pal Michael French, howevs, ain’t going nowhere, free airfare home or not.

“This is going to be my home. I’m going to stay in Hawaii. I have no wants to go back to Boston. I don’t like the cold weather there, can’t push a wheelchair around in the snow too good. I’ll be here until the day I die.”

Dunno about you, but I  get a shiver whenever I pass a homeless man, roughly my age, ’cause I know I’m maybe six bad months away from joining him on his cardboard carpet, old paw extended to grasp your offered coins.

I remember, once, a prominent surf magazine photo editor telling me he was living in his car.

Like Orwell said in Down and Out in Paris and London, “the average millionaire is only the average dishwasher dressed in a new suit.”

Anyone done it or doing it tough?

"You'd never expect these guys to be able to take you down. Next thing you know, they're attacking you with these extremely technical moves."

The combat sports world is euphoric following Mark Zuckerberg’s domination of a jiujitsu contest where the Facebook founder and part-owner of Instagram won gold and silver medals competing in the Gi and non-Gi divisions. 

Alongside stirring images from his day of glory, which included submissions via two of the sports most vicious movies, the carotid artery squashing guillotine and shoulder snapping Kimura,

Zuck wrote:

Competed in my first jiu jitsu tournament and won some medals 🥇🥈 for the Guerrilla Jiu Jitsu team. Thanks to @davecamarillo @khaiwu @intense0ne for training me!

 

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A post shared by Mark Zuckerberg (@zuck)

A who’s who of the fight world were quick to dive into Zuck’s comments, including UFC champs Brandon Moreno, Alex Volkanovski and Izzy Adesanya, although the fight itself seemed to flush Zuckerberg, shot five revealing the outline of a circumcised head of unusual weight and with a perfect bevelled rim. The gorgeous organ stands stiffly and straightly out with a slight flare upwards.

You’ll remember eight months ago when the seemingly unshakable friendship between big-waver Kai Lenny and Zuckerberg appears to flounder after Lenny’s former tow-buddy shared a video of himself training MMA with UFC debutante Kha “The Shadow” Wu, even calling it “the best sport.”

“From the very first session that I did, like five minutes in, I was like, ‘Where has this been my whole life?’ All right. My mom made me do three varsity sports and my life took a wrong turn when I chose to do fencing competitively instead of wrestling in high school or something…

“There’s just something that’s so primal about it,” Zuck told Joe Rogan. “Since then, I’ve just introduced a bunch of my friends to it. That’s been really fun, because now it’s like we train together and wrestle together. There’s a certain intensity to it that I like. Maybe there’s this cultural thing where a lot of people haven’t considered it. I’ve had 100 percent hit rate of introducing friends to it and converting them to people who now train. Every single person who I’ve shown it to is like, ‘This is amazing. This is obviously how I should be training and working out.’”

His trainer Koa Wu said “You’d never expect these guys to be able to take you down. Next thing you know, they’re attacking you with these extremely technical moves. You don’t know this nerd is a silent killer.” 

Now, with the pivot to combat sports complete the reader is left to burden himself with the crestfallen Kai Lenny who must be reconsidering his comments from a Wired interview where he described his former BFF as “super cool, super into water sport, really active. Super fit. Like … strong, strong strong. Physically strong.”