"By the end of the film, the children will not only have learnt about the ‘patriarchy’ but they will also have been introduced to the racism of post-colonial theory (another Foucauldian special). That is, the history of Western nations is a story of unbroken violence and exploitation. Or in other words, white people are bad, and everyone else is good."

Prop surfboard used by Ryan Gosling in “offensive, nasty and profoundly misandrist” film Barbie lists for one million dollars!

“An ode to Karl Marx and the French post-modernists, in particular the child molester Michel Foucault.

Y’seen the Margo Robbie, Ryan Goz smash Barbie yet? Yeah, me neither. 

My old pal Bella wrote a review of the film for The Spectator, howevs, and gotta say she wasn’t thrilled describing it as,

“an ode to Karl Marx and the French post-modernists, in particular the child molester Michel Foucault. This central theme of this overtly woke, triumphantly propagandist piece of filmmaking is the postmodern political principle that society is structured into systems of power and privilege, and that women and minorities are oppressed by the patriarchy.” 

A little later, 

“The vein of bitterness and anger directed towards fifty percent of the population runs so deeply through this film that I am surprised that the (few) men sitting in the audience tolerated it. It is an offensive, nasty, and profoundly misandrist piece of filmmaking packaged as harmless entertainment.”

Anyway, someone who works in the props department at Warner Bro’s claims to have the board and have listed it for a million bucks, although they’ll take whatever they get offered over the course of the next few days. 

“I have in my possession The Ken Surfboard from the Barbie motion picture I will sell to the highest bidder by midnight of the end of July. FCFS. First Come First Surf. I worked in the props department and can verify authentication in person.”

Still thinking of going to Barbie?

“By the time the credits start rolling, the little girls will also have a completely skewed vision of men and women and the relationship between the sexes,” writes Bella. “All men, both human and doll, are depicted as either pathetic imbeciles with learning difficulties, or consumed by ‘toxic masculinity’.”

Throw in a little Western Civilisation is the crux of all evil and you got a hit for all the family.

Essential.

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Dogsnuts
Dogsnuts
3 years ago

Oui oui xox

channelbottom
channelbottom
3 years ago

Don’t props usually belong to the production company?
I don’t really know anything about the industry, just spitballing.

Chazz Michael Michaels
Chazz Michael Michaels
3 years ago

I’d be horrified if it was.

notsurfingtoday
notsurfingtoday
3 years ago

Upvote deserving as it’s probably the longest comment I’ve ever seen.

snapper
snapper
3 years ago

“Y’seen the Margo Robbie, Ryan Goz smash Barbie yet? Yeah, me neither”.
(yeah right DK🤪)

Huli Opu
Huli Opu
3 years ago

Good one Troll but a bit too verbose. I would edit and parse down the syntax but still keep all your points and overall flavor. Consider finessing concise paragraphs to keep the plebs minds from wandering and to maintain an engaging read.

As for Negatron, forget him. I can’t remember a single intelligent article he ever wrote or a comment from him that was insightful or funny and not derisive. Maybe someday our lil’ plumber might unlikely be asked to judge a big boys surf contest but until then he’ll keep pretending that he knows what he’s talking about.

What years were you on the north shore and where did you reside?

NEGATRON
NEGATRON
3 years ago
Reply to  Huli Opu

It brings a smile to my dial just knowing how tightly you’re holding onto me in your head.

Huli Opu
Huli Opu
3 years ago
Reply to  NEGATRON

I’ll be riding your sheep shaggin’ snowflake pussy till you have the olos to visit me on the north shore and we’ll see just how well your bluster stands up. You got my email. Waiting on your visit.

NEGATRON
NEGATRON
3 years ago
Reply to  Huli Opu

I’m lost. Sounds like you want a fight or something?? Remind me of just why you’d want to confront me personally over your issue with me?

jacksprat
jacksprat
3 years ago

… surfing, huh… what is it good for… absolutely nothing… say it again…

Rocks local
Rocks local
3 years ago

Read it all, really appreciate the thought and effort, good ideas overall , although the lack of any objectivity with a ‘best surfer of heat’ model does make me a little nervous – but can’t be worse than current situation. Agree there needs to be serious discussion, accompanied by acknowledgment of all your points re different people seeing same things differently etc. Would put money on fact that you’ve given more serious and careful thought to this than whoever they hire as next ceo, which is both a credit to you and a black mark on them.

Chazz Michael Michaels
Chazz Michael Michaels
3 years ago

Suggested AI prompt:

“Shorten and clarify.”

NEGATRON
NEGATRON
3 years ago

I said it. Gut feeling was that Conner won.
I get try to never get into the debate of who won what if I wasn’t there judging.
Maybe just listen to what Conner had to say.
https://podcasts.apple.com/…

NEGATRON
NEGATRON
3 years ago

That 10 minutes post heat before Connors last wave was read out was what you’re asking for.
You just need to hear it. But I can tell you now you, but you won’t like it and you won’t any happier.

judge 1 “Shit, we cooked that first wave of John’s and that fucked the whole heat”
Judge 2 yeah I agree.
Judge 3 nah John had that 110%
Head judge. Play back 1 v 3rd wave.
Judge 4. Fuck, I got that wrong
Judge 5. Sorry, just give me the average I’ve lost it.
Head Judge. Who was the best surfer in that heat.
4 of the judges. Conner
Head judge. Give him the score then, that’s all that matters the best guy gets though. Next heat fellas we gotta sharpen up.

*. One scenario out of hundreds that could’ve occurred.

Rocks local
Rocks local
3 years ago
Reply to  NEGATRON

Appreciate the summary negs. I watched heat live and was shocked by the result. Also think even if the first jjf wave was overcooked the second was under, so evens out. But as troll points out at least some discussion of how it came to be would give everyone some context. Other sports leagues do it all the time as a matter of standard practice. And particularly when it’s a last minute winner take all call like this one, some explanation is warranted. But none of this hasn’t already been said … bottom line is more transparency and explanation around these calls would be welcome.

NEGATRON
NEGATRON
3 years ago
Reply to  Rocks local

I’m up for transparency to a degree, love to have a camera in the room. But in my personal experience Judges are there to Judge. The person that would have the skills to do media releases about Judging might not be the best judge, more of a PR Elo type person. Ie corpo blather
I’ve found the more external pressure on Judges from parents/competitors leads to conservative safe Judging as no one really wants their necks on the chopping board.

tim_nelsen
tim_nelsen
3 years ago

DR is cock-blocking Chas as this is supposed to be his pinnacle of achievement. But I can wait. Delayed gratification is all I know! signed, Avid Fanboy.

NEGATRON
NEGATRON
3 years ago

I did! But yeah I could write 5000 words on why I thought Conor won but it would be over intellectualised prattle and at the end you’d still go I thought JJF won.
At the end of the day I watched it live and thought fuck that was close as it gets and my GUT feeling was that Conner just pipped John. Judges clocking in on that day scored it that way too.

World Shaving League
World Shaving League
3 years ago

I asked chatgpt to summarize everything for me in one paragraph:

In this article, the author delves into the world of judging in competitive surfing. They express frustration with the current judging system and its subjectivity, citing recent controversial calls in surf competitions. They propose a different approach to judging, one that focuses on the entirety of a surfer’s performance in a heat rather than pinning numbers to specific waves. The author suggests a panel of diverse judges who openly debate and express their viewpoints, encouraging more dialogue and understanding. They call for a discussion about the future of judging in surfing and emphasize the importance of engaging in constructive conversations to improve the sport.

Hippy
Hippy
3 years ago

Do you ride an electric bike?

World Shaving League
World Shaving League
3 years ago
Reply to  Hippy

I ride a 25 year Toyota Corolla. I can’t get rid of it, it refuses to die

Hippy
Hippy
3 years ago

Have an old Toyota myself, will drive it to the end…. either one of us.

World Shaving League
World Shaving League
3 years ago
Reply to  Hippy

A bit like Kelly and the WSL

Professor Ski Lodge
Professor Ski Lodge
3 years ago

Comment of the century, which incidentally is how long Kelly has been on tour.

Sean Connery
Sean Connery
3 years ago

I wish I was an adult in the 80’s and 90’s. That really seemed like the best time to be alive.

Occ Topus
Occ Topus
3 years ago
Reply to  Sean Connery

Not exactly.
However, the 60s and 70s were a great time to be a kid.

Hippy
Hippy
3 years ago
Reply to  Occ Topus

I had fun all 4 decades.

Ami Lost
Ami Lost
3 years ago

I was lucky enough to be the recipient of one man verbally calling another man a misogynist the other day, the actual word. In defense of my absent friend and not wanting to more offend, the only thing I could think to say was “He’s been through a lot”

Derek Hynd's Missing Fins
Derek Hynd's Missing Fins
3 years ago

Longer than combining 4,374 of Chas’s 5,000 articles.

Spinafex
Spinafex
3 years ago

What there are no films that depict women as imbeciles or gossipy bitches?

Pauly Matt War-Shore
Pauly Matt War-Shore
3 years ago
Reply to  Spinafex

Um…

Stick man
Stick man
3 years ago

I’ll watch it NEVER.

tim_nelsen
tim_nelsen
3 years ago
Reply to  Stick man

headline news: “Read All About It!”

F Scott Fitzbarrelled
F Scott Fitzbarrelled
3 years ago

I actually mostly agree but that was too long. I’m a multi-national corporate middle manager lifer so breaking bullshit into bullet points is my wheelhouse. Here we go:

1) Surfing is inherently and irreducibly subjective. It’s Art.

2) We should embrace this and make it central to the judging.

3) trying to quantify every wave point by point by wiggle by hack by tube by whatever… is foolish. the numbers just give it a false sense of scientific objectivity

4) the mechanism is for judges to just (individually) decide the winner of the heat based on overall performance

5) judges are required to publicly state and defend their rationale. the debate amongst themselves and the audience is public


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