Zuckerberg (left) going full retard. Ziff (right) with his best friend. Photo: Hell
Zuckerberg (left) going full retard. Ziff (right) with his best friend. Photo: Hell

“Super cool, super fit” Mark Zuckerberg and World Surf League owner Digglin’ Dirk Ziff locked in death battle for title of “worst billionaire in surfing!”

Cage match without the cage.

I think it can be firmly and unequivocally stated that 2023’s billionaires are the worst the world has ever seen. Tacky, unrepentant, malicious, nerdy all topped off with an utter disregard for style and class. It wasn’t always so. Billionaires like Gianni Agnelli and Joseph Stalin once roamed the earth cruising glassy waters on Rivas, dispatching enemies to freezing cold gulags instead of firing them without reason while they are doing the very best they can to make professional surfers feel wanted in Brazil.

Today’s batch is very yuck but two have emerged as peak yuck and both just so happen to be involved in our surfing.

Mark Zuckerberg became infatuated with the Sport of Kings via his onetime BFF Kai Lenny, who described the Facebook founder as “super cool, super fit.” Zuckerberg e-foiled lakes, talked about “doing a fair amount of extreme sport type stuff” including conquering 15-foot surf and generally made an ass out of himself. Thankfully, the world’s 7th richest man discovered Brazilian jiu-jitsu and seemed to be pivoting away from the water… but these warm summer months brought him back.

Examine.

Dirk Ziff did one better than Zuckerberg, purchasing not only Kai Lenny but all of professional surfing for free in 2015 and doing the absolute best job he can to drive it straight into the ground. Bad hire after bad hire, after Erik “Buffa”Logan. His abject and complete hatred for his audience not seen since Augusto Pinochet.

But who is worse, Zuckerberg or Ziff?

David Lee Scales and I did not, exactly, discuss during our weekly chat but did touch upon bad billionaires, Ziff being an ass plus Jonah Hill’s warpath marching ex-girlfriend Sarah Brady. And then there is our new segment Pros in the Wild wherein good folk share real life encounters with professional surfers in the aforementioned wild.

I think you’ll enjoy.

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Board Barnacle
Board Barnacle
3 years ago

I give it to Ziff for his friendship with Weinstein.

tim_nelsen
tim_nelsen
3 years ago

let’s meet their respective international ‘model recruiting’ team!

Dogsnuts
Dogsnuts
3 years ago

In the mirror with a finger in his bumhole xox

Ramathorn
Ramathorn
3 years ago

That Michael Ho story was a good one.

Mike
Mike
3 years ago

Zuckerberg has zero style. Cringe worthy😬

Barrelled
Barrelled
3 years ago

No words

Tom
Tom
3 years ago

Buffa?
So obviously he has polished his knob in the wrong persons vagina or anus?

astro
astro
3 years ago

The tale of Erik Paws Logan gonna come and bite you on your butt, Dirk.
And your “yes boss” employees ….

Dogsnuts
Dogsnuts
3 years ago

Imagine how he fucks. Xox

Stick man
Stick man
3 years ago
Reply to  Dogsnuts

Imagine how he Zucks…

Mapski
Mapski
3 years ago

Ziff needs to scale up surf ranch to Nazare levels with his new friends. Zuck surfs like Shaun Tomson.


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