"Ha, ha, yes, I am your best friend, your brother, yes yes!" | Photo: @tsherms/Steve Sherman

Small-wave king Filipe Toledo’s surprise push-back against suggestion Gabriel Medina be gifted vacant Final’s day spot, “(Medina) had 10 chances to win the points needed to be in the Finals”

"I don't think it's fair," says Toledo.

The reigning world champion surfer and king of all waves two feet and under, Filipe Toledo, has shocked surf fans after pushing back, hard, against any suggestion countryman Gabriel Medina should slide into the Final 5 if Ethan Ewing don’t make it. 

Toledo, the twenty-eight-year-old father of two and one of the sport’s most delicate organisms, made the inflammatory comments to Lucas D’Assumpção, from Waves.com.br.

According to Toledo, rules are rule, what can I do etc. 

“The format was created… so you have to be prepared for it at the beginning of the year. My constancy comes, I’m looking for all the best results to guarantee my first place in the Finals,” he said. “I know that there is a possibility of me losing the world title, that theoretically I would have already won if it was on consecutive points, but I already knew that from the beginning and I was already prepared psychologically.

He added, “I think the format is really cool, I think it’s very cool and brings a lot of visibility is something that can bring an opportunity to our sport in the long term”.

But as for triple world champ Medina getting a ride into the Final Five,

“There was all this buzz if Ethan isn’t going to make it, Gabriel has to come in. Obviously I really wanted Gabriel, John John, Yago, everyone to be in the finals,” said Toledo.

“But man, they surfed all year, they had 10 chances to win the points needed to be in the finals and they didn’t and then because of the other being third, 20,000 points ahead, he gets hurt and they still have a chance to enter. I don’t think it’s fair, I think that if you didn’t get the necessary score to play in the Finals, you don’t get to be there.”

Inflammatory, no? Where’s the Brazilian brotherhood?

The point is moot, anyway, because Ethan gonna make miracle recovery and scare hell out of Pip at four-foot Lowers. 

Load Comments

Shock twist in racism row after “lynching” of Black surfer’s board!

“I’ve seen this guy almost seriously injure multiple people including children.”

The pretty little beach town of Jupiter in Palm Beach, Florida, is a tinderbox tonight after the apparent lynching of a black surfer’s board in an act of “racially motivated vandalism”.

Story is: Andrew Sherlock, a goofy footer with a wide stance reminiscent of Waimea Bay superhero Eddie Aikau, runs into a little heat in the surf. Crackers steal board and nail it to a damn tree as if it were 1925 and the three-million strong Klan were still hunting blacks, flamboyant homosexuals, Jews, Asians, Catholics, abortionists and so on.

“White supremacy is a sickness, a vile thing that rears its head in so many ways,” posted @black.surfers. “@sherlockdown is a Black surfer, father, and husband, and was subjected to racially motivated vandalism and a symbolic lynching of his board. You heard that right. White surfers in Jupiter, Florida, took his board and nailed it to this tree and said it was a message. @sherlockdown says it was someone from the Jupiter surf crew. For those in that area, that may know who did this, who do not want the actions of a few to stain the perception of their community, please come forward so we may demand an apology and acknowledgement of the pain they have caused. In Andrew’s words:

“This is how real the racism and hate is in Jupiter, Florida. They can’t stand to see a Black man in their waters. I was told I’m not welcome. Stole my board when I turned my back and they did this. Said it was a message. They nailed it to the tree like a lynching.

I took the board down, stayed and surfed the whole day with a small board to show face. A few locals that were there were apologizing and agreed it was wrong. They did said, after what happened, I’m welcome to surf their waters freely and no one will bother me. I’m just going to leave it in God’s hands”

Wild yeah?

The Inertia got into it, as you’d imagine, pointing out surfing is racist from head to toe, referencing Miki Dora wearing an Army surplus German uniform from World War II fifty years ago as proof.

“Racially motivated incidents in the world of surfing are part of a long history of prejudice associated with the sport,” wrote Cooper Gregan.

But the recent history of fake race hate crimes in the US should stir a little scepticism, no? Jussie Smollet? Bubba Wallace? Bells ringing?

What’s the other side of the supposed hate crime?
.
“This is completely out of context. Surfers in Jupiter are far from racist. Get your facts straight before you post this shit and accuse people with these false accusations,” writes @bmurray561, a surfer followed by Florida superstar Evan Geiselman. “If someone is dangerous in a line up I don’t care if they are white, black, purple, or blue something will be said. As a local here I’ve seen this guy almost seriously injure multiple people including children. He’s very misleading…Acts nice and calm on camera. But, in the water it’s a different story. Instead of apologizing he’s tried to fight multiple people saying “you don’t want this smoke” all when he was in the wrong. We have been nothing but nice and inviting to him. It’s terrible this page has to flip the script and pull the racial card before knowing the facts. That being said we will like to see him out there enjoying the same sport as we all do…Just needs to get his surfing etiquette cleaned up some.”

And, from a Robert Powell,

“Heinous is trying to assault kids. Heinous is not showing respect to locals, heinous is screaming and cussing and trying to act tough to kids, heinous is playing the race card when this was a kind act juxtaposed to what the clown deserved. Anyone that has surfed a local spot knows that a beat down for trying to hurt people, acting tough, assaulting kids, running your mouth and being an overall ass clown is what’s normal. This was grace nailing the board to a tree. Only an actual racist would link this to a effing lynching. But hey racists see racism everywhere, when you’re a hammer everything looks like a nail. Freaking enabling scum.”

And, from the handful of comments on The Inertia’s story.

“A quick summation from someone who was out in the water that day, guy was burning everyone and when someone would say something to him he would immediately call them racist. He ended up colliding with a local on a wave that was clearly his fault. They told him to go in or down the beach where he couldn’t hurt anyone. He proceeded to try and fight them. He went in and put his board in his car then went back to the board walk to talk to the kid he collided with, there were about 15 other people around. They ended up talking it out, the guy apologized and they fist bumped each other (there’s a video of this). He went back to his car and his board was gone. The kid he collided with and a few locals helped him look for the board. Not condoning anyone in this situations behavior, just wanted to give an accurate account of what went down.”

Two things: getting excited over two-foot waves in Florida displays a terrible inelegance and maybe doing the board in a tree thing ain’t the best optics?

Or straight-up racism, hate crime etc?

Where do you fall?

 

View this post on Instagram

 

A post shared by Black Surfers (@black.surfers)

Load Comments

Surf fans thrill for coming “Battle over Beard Oil” as Quiksilver, Billabong, RVCA set to challenge Hurley’s market dominance!

Halcyon days here again!

We are but hours away from Authentic Brands Group official purchase of Boardriders and, already, surf fans are celebrating. As you know, the ABG juggernaut, owners of the Shaquille O’Neill, Elvis Presley, Marilyn Monroe, though not Marilyn Manson licenses (Manson’s has grown icky) and valued over $20 billion dollars, became excited by Boardriders, home to Billabong, Quiksilver, RVCA and decided to acquire months ago.

After a few hiccups, the deal will be finalized on Aug. 31 and announced to the world by a dumping of Billabong and RVCA shirts into Costco, surf fans buying them up for pennies on the dollar.

What thrills even more, however, is the anticipated “Battle for Beard Oil” with rival Hurley.

Bob’s baby, acquired by Bluestar Alliance in 2019, immediately pivoted factories from best-in-class boardshorts to inflatable pool toys, fingernail clippers and, of course, men’s grooming products.

It has come to dominate the surf-branded unnecessary and landfill-ready market so much that, for the past four years, surf fans felt that they would only have one option for Chinese-made reading glasses.

Now, with Quiksilver, Billabong, RVCA, Volcom (purchased by ABG in a separate deal) all ready to make junk, which will rise to the top?

The early money has to be on RVCA. The “balance of opposites” already pivoted, successfully, to the fight game, years upon years ago and I’d imagine various creams and salves can be put on the market straight away.

Like Goldbond but hip.

Quiksilver might be a sneaker, though, with the “mountain and the wave” the best logo of the bunch and ready to adorn bottles of fingernail polish or baby teething toys.

Billabong?

I don’t really see it.

You?

Load Comments

Lewis (insert) making tears. Photo: Mad Men
Lewis (insert) making tears. Photo: Mad Men

Tears flow at BeachGrit’s near-decade old twin desks as surf blog lord Lewis Samuels declares: “Frankly, I don’t know if I’d consider them an established platform”

What have we gotta do to make you love us?

We are coming up on a very important anniversary, here. Ten marvelous years of ultra hard surf candy. For it was on January 24, 2014, that Derek Rielly and I, sitting at a weathered zinc countertop, pressed “publish” for the very first time on BeachGrit. We toasted champagne, or maybe white wine, not knowing where the journey would take us.

Who could have guessed all the adventures we’ve been on, together and by “together” I very much mean you too. From blood feuds to backward fins, Kelly Slater saying this to Kelly Slater doing that, the transition of the Association of Surfing Professionals into today’s World Surf League, Covid, ELo, Surf Ranch, Ashton Goggans of Shire Gogganses, historic zero point heat totals at Teahupo’o, Olympic medals, surf equity.

A decade of Jen See, JP Currie, Steve Shearer, VONR, Negatron, Pauly, Ricmatic and good times.

Alas, tears flowed in Cardiff by the Sea, California and Bondi, Australia overnight when blog lord Lewis Samuels detonated it all in a devastating interview with Stab.

Samuels, you certainly remember, launched the notorious PostSurf decades ago, providing a very refreshing, critical take of professional surfing. His wit and candor drew thousands of fans and those fans grew wildly depressed when he turned off the lights in order to focus on his career at search giant Google.

Rielly recalled meeting him in a piece published five years ago, noting:

I spent a night with the one-time most notorious surf writer in the world, Lewis Samuels, then in his late-thirties. I fed Lewis pastry and crème patissiere straight from the spoon which he described as “gay.” Soon, his mouth was open and he was begging for the eclair, greedily rimming the spoon. He wore a red flannel shirt, some sort of oversized pants and rectangular spectacles usually worn by English women who search for romance in Kenya.

I, unfortunately, blew my opportunity to share delicate desserts with Lewis. I had been in San Francisco, not long after BeachGrit’s launch, and somehow we connected, via text. We made a time to meet at his Google office. I assumed it was for the next day and woke up bright and early, excited to meet the man behind the myth. He was nowhere to be found and the office was strangely quiet. After waiting a few moments, I texted. He replied, “Nobody works on Saturday” and seemed, rightly, grouchy about my absentmindedness.

In any case, overnight, Lewis sat down with the premium surf organ in a wide-ranging interview on all things surf.

When asked, “Is it becoming harder to be critical of professional surfing — especially behind established platforms — nowadays?”

Lewis answered, “I don’t know if anyone’s doing it. There’s people on BeachGrit that are super critical of professional surfing, but frankly, I don’t know if I’d consider them an established platform.”

Ten years-adjacent?

Six published books between the two principals?

Getting called a “bad dog” by The Inertia?

Blocked multiple times across every social media account by Kelly Slater, Filipe Toledo and others?

What have we gotta do to make you love us?

What have we gotta do to make you care?

What do we do when lightning strikes us?

And we wake to find that you’re not there.

So sad etc.

At the end, Samuels did praise the aforementioned Currie and Shearer, though.

Champagne being sent to Scotland and Lennox Head.

Load Comments

"Y'see this here? This is the sorta day only mad dogs and fools or Lewis Hamilton would attempt to ride." | Photo: Surf Channel Television Network

Racing car superstar Lewis Hamilton almost dies on “25-foot” wave at Pipeline after dare from Kelly Slater!

"This thing was massive, a huge tunnel, and I could see Kelly coming right down it in front of me."

The last time we saw the world’s greatest racing car driver and keen surfer Lewis Hamilton on these pages he was embroiled in a racism row with former FI champ Nelson Piquet after the latter described the former using an epithet outlawed to whites and to escape the noise had fled to Malibu.

With trademark sun-kissed braids pulled into a sensible bun, Hamilton was subsequently filmed polishing off a wave with a cool “what-me-worry” style.

“The guy clearly knows what he’s doing … propping himself up on the board and maintaining his balance throughout the run (no porpoising here, thankfully),” wrote TMZ Sports.

Lou’s surf bona fides have long been documented. A regular at the WSL’s Surf Ranch, he has ridden the Melbourne tank and in 2021 posted a moving tribute to Kelly Slater on his Instagram account.

“He probably doesn’t know this but Kelly changed my life for the better. I want you all to know how great of a human being this man is. I am forever grateful for the time you have given me, for the insight and your passion for the waves. Thank you @kellyslater! Can’t wait until we can hit the waves again (praying hands emoji).”

It’s a perilous relationship and reminiscent of Sean “Poopies” McInerny and Jamie O’Brien’s dangerous friendship, the master and commander of the ocean taunting his fall guy into waters far out of his depth.

In fact, Hamilton says he nearly died at “25-foot” Pipeline following a dare from Slater. 

In an interview with the Robb Report Hamilton lays bare the shocking event.

“When someone says ‘you can’t climb that tree,’ I’ll climb it, even if I’ll almost certainly fall out of it.” As if to prove the point, he tells a story about a near-death experience a couple of years ago when he paddled out to Hawaii’s notorious Banzai Pipeline, an iconic surf break, with surfing legend Kelly Slater. “Kelly was like, ‘there’s no way you’re going out there,’” Hamilton says, his eyes sparkling at the memory of the 25-foot wave. “And I was like, ‘Kelly, I’m going out.’”

He paddled to the edge of the wave. “This thing was massive, a huge tunnel, and I could see Kelly coming right down it in front of me,” he continues. “And I just had to make sure I didn’t get sucked in. So I dived down and grabbed the reef and prayed. I could hear the thing land behind me, like a bomb going off. My board got ripped off and snapped in half. I was very close to the end. But that excites me for some reason.”

Couple of takeaways.

You think Lou told the reporter the waves were twenty-five feet or was that an embellishment or presumption of the writer? If he did say it was twenty-five foot, what was the actual size?

Did Lou really grip the famous Pipeline reef and pray?

And how close to the end? Really close or vaguely adjacent?

Load Comments