“I’ve seen this guy almost seriously injure multiple people including children.”

The pretty little beach town of Jupiter in Palm Beach, Florida, is a tinderbox tonight after the apparent lynching of a black surfer’s board in an act of “racially motivated vandalism”.

Story is: Andrew Sherlock, a goofy footer with a wide stance reminiscent of Waimea Bay superhero Eddie Aikau, runs into a little heat in the surf. Crackers steal board and nail it to a damn tree as if it were 1925 and the three-million strong Klan were still hunting blacks, flamboyant homosexuals, Jews, Asians, Catholics, abortionists and so on.

“White supremacy is a sickness, a vile thing that rears its head in so many ways,” posted @black.surfers. “@sherlockdown is a Black surfer, father, and husband, and was subjected to racially motivated vandalism and a symbolic lynching of his board. You heard that right. White surfers in Jupiter, Florida, took his board and nailed it to this tree and said it was a message. @sherlockdown says it was someone from the Jupiter surf crew. For those in that area, that may know who did this, who do not want the actions of a few to stain the perception of their community, please come forward so we may demand an apology and acknowledgement of the pain they have caused. In Andrew’s words:

“This is how real the racism and hate is in Jupiter, Florida. They can’t stand to see a Black man in their waters. I was told I’m not welcome. Stole my board when I turned my back and they did this. Said it was a message. They nailed it to the tree like a lynching.

I took the board down, stayed and surfed the whole day with a small board to show face. A few locals that were there were apologizing and agreed it was wrong. They did said, after what happened, I’m welcome to surf their waters freely and no one will bother me. I’m just going to leave it in God’s hands”

Wild yeah?

The Inertia got into it, as you’d imagine, pointing out surfing is racist from head to toe, referencing Miki Dora wearing an Army surplus German uniform from World War II fifty years ago as proof.

“Racially motivated incidents in the world of surfing are part of a long history of prejudice associated with the sport,” wrote Cooper Gregan.

But the recent history of fake race hate crimes in the US should stir a little scepticism, no? Jussie Smollet? Bubba Wallace? Bells ringing?

What’s the other side of the supposed hate crime?
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“This is completely out of context. Surfers in Jupiter are far from racist. Get your facts straight before you post this shit and accuse people with these false accusations,” writes @bmurray561, a surfer followed by Florida superstar Evan Geiselman. “If someone is dangerous in a line up I don’t care if they are white, black, purple, or blue something will be said. As a local here I’ve seen this guy almost seriously injure multiple people including children. He’s very misleading…Acts nice and calm on camera. But, in the water it’s a different story. Instead of apologizing he’s tried to fight multiple people saying “you don’t want this smoke” all when he was in the wrong. We have been nothing but nice and inviting to him. It’s terrible this page has to flip the script and pull the racial card before knowing the facts. That being said we will like to see him out there enjoying the same sport as we all do…Just needs to get his surfing etiquette cleaned up some.”

And, from a Robert Powell,

“Heinous is trying to assault kids. Heinous is not showing respect to locals, heinous is screaming and cussing and trying to act tough to kids, heinous is playing the race card when this was a kind act juxtaposed to what the clown deserved. Anyone that has surfed a local spot knows that a beat down for trying to hurt people, acting tough, assaulting kids, running your mouth and being an overall ass clown is what’s normal. This was grace nailing the board to a tree. Only an actual racist would link this to a effing lynching. But hey racists see racism everywhere, when you’re a hammer everything looks like a nail. Freaking enabling scum.”

And, from the handful of comments on The Inertia’s story.

“A quick summation from someone who was out in the water that day, guy was burning everyone and when someone would say something to him he would immediately call them racist. He ended up colliding with a local on a wave that was clearly his fault. They told him to go in or down the beach where he couldn’t hurt anyone. He proceeded to try and fight them. He went in and put his board in his car then went back to the board walk to talk to the kid he collided with, there were about 15 other people around. They ended up talking it out, the guy apologized and they fist bumped each other (there’s a video of this). He went back to his car and his board was gone. The kid he collided with and a few locals helped him look for the board. Not condoning anyone in this situations behavior, just wanted to give an accurate account of what went down.”

Two things: getting excited over two-foot waves in Florida displays a terrible inelegance and maybe doing the board in a tree thing ain’t the best optics?

Or straight-up racism, hate crime etc?

Where do you fall?

 

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"This thing was massive, a huge tunnel, and I could see Kelly coming right down it in front of me."

The last time we saw the world’s greatest racing car driver and keen surfer Lewis Hamilton on these pages he was embroiled in a racism row with former FI champ Nelson Piquet after the latter described the former using an epithet outlawed to whites and to escape the noise had fled to Malibu.

With trademark sun-kissed braids pulled into a sensible bun, Hamilton was subsequently filmed polishing off a wave with a cool “what-me-worry” style.

“The guy clearly knows what he’s doing … propping himself up on the board and maintaining his balance throughout the run (no porpoising here, thankfully),” wrote TMZ Sports.

Lou’s surf bona fides have long been documented. A regular at the WSL’s Surf Ranch, he has ridden the Melbourne tank and in 2021 posted a moving tribute to Kelly Slater on his Instagram account.

“He probably doesn’t know this but Kelly changed my life for the better. I want you all to know how great of a human being this man is. I am forever grateful for the time you have given me, for the insight and your passion for the waves. Thank you @kellyslater! Can’t wait until we can hit the waves again (praying hands emoji).”

It’s a perilous relationship and reminiscent of Sean “Poopies” McInerny and Jamie O’Brien’s dangerous friendship, the master and commander of the ocean taunting his fall guy into waters far out of his depth.

In fact, Hamilton says he nearly died at “25-foot” Pipeline following a dare from Slater. 

In an interview with the Robb Report Hamilton lays bare the shocking event.

“When someone says ‘you can’t climb that tree,’ I’ll climb it, even if I’ll almost certainly fall out of it.” As if to prove the point, he tells a story about a near-death experience a couple of years ago when he paddled out to Hawaii’s notorious Banzai Pipeline, an iconic surf break, with surfing legend Kelly Slater. “Kelly was like, ‘there’s no way you’re going out there,’” Hamilton says, his eyes sparkling at the memory of the 25-foot wave. “And I was like, ‘Kelly, I’m going out.’”

He paddled to the edge of the wave. “This thing was massive, a huge tunnel, and I could see Kelly coming right down it in front of me,” he continues. “And I just had to make sure I didn’t get sucked in. So I dived down and grabbed the reef and prayed. I could hear the thing land behind me, like a bomb going off. My board got ripped off and snapped in half. I was very close to the end. But that excites me for some reason.”

Couple of takeaways.

You think Lou told the reporter the waves were twenty-five feet or was that an embellishment or presumption of the writer? If he did say it was twenty-five foot, what was the actual size?

Did Lou really grip the famous Pipeline reef and pray?

And how close to the end? Really close or vaguely adjacent?

"If I’d listened to the people who said surfing wasn’t for me due to the melanin my skin possesses, I’d have a different existence."

I doubt if there’s one person who’s ever met Selema Masekela, apart from Chas and Circe and I’m not exactly sure what happened there, some sorta heated legal poison although I don’t dare ask, who doesn’t walk away firmly under his spell. 

Let’s take a snapshot of the first time I met the extreme sports identity. It was 2017 and, along with Chas, I was visiting the Kelly Slater Surf Ranch in Lemoore, California at the invitation of the WSL’s Dave Prodan.

Occupying one of the bench seats in the Surf Ranch’s heated jacuzzi aprés after our allotted waves was Sal, he was Sal back then, and just as I was about to enter the swirling maelstrom, heated to a pleasing one hundred degrees and offering needed respite from the winter cold and a possible cure for a dreadful hangover, his telephone rang. 

Sal asked me to rummage through his colourful outfit which was bundled on a barrel, enough clothes to suggest, or was I hoping, he was nude in the tank, and to pick it up.

It was Kelly Slater. 

“Answer it,” he commanded, which I did. Kelly remained silent when he heard my voice, an early portent of the blood feud that would simmer for the following six years. 

After a howl of laughter and some chortling Sal hung up. Despite an expanded adiposity, he gobbled protein bar after protein bar, informing me of the health-giving properties of the foil-wrapped chocolate chip treats.

Stories flowed like a river of honey and I left, like everyone who spun in his orbit that day, a fan for life.

 

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I didn’t heard from Sal again, only knew in passing that he’d transitioned to  Selema, but today I saw that he had turned a ripe old fifty-two and to mark the occasion had written movingly of his life as a surfer.

Picture number one was taken 35 years ago by my Mom @b2bharmony. Picture number two was taken last week by @patstacyfilm. Today, August 28th, is my 52nd Birthday. The 17 year old in the first slide had no idea where the board under his arm would take him. All he knew was that the moment he stood up for five seconds on that first wave at Cherry Street in Carlsbad, California 1988, his life was changed forever. Addiction ensued.

Since that day, a relentless pursuit of ‘the feeling’ has taken me beyond my wildest dreams and transported me to oceans and seas across the planet. It’s given me deep, meaningful, life long friendships with some truly magnificent human beings and helped me create and evolve a storytelling career I continue to enjoy now more than ever.

On paper, none of this was supposed to happen. I’m from the St. Marks Apartments in Staten Island, NY with a brief cameo in Attleboro, Massachusetts. I’m the son of a South African political exile and a Haitian immigrant. Surfing wasn’t supposed to happen to me but it did. If I’d listened to the people who said surfing wasn’t for me due to the amount of melanin my skin possesses, I’d have an entirely different existence.

There is no box other than the one society works overtime to put you in. Get weird, try some shit that’s not supposed to be for you and see what happens. Oh, and while you’re at it… JOYFULLY TAKE UP ALL THE SPACE YOU CAN.

Ain’t that the truth!

Readers, contribute your Sal stories below. Chas, not you.