McConaughey's "love of surf is unquestionable" although his career was almost dashed on the rocks with turns as Steve Addington in Surfer, Dude and Moondog in Beach Bum”.
You’ll remember only twelve months ago, tears falling for Griffin Colapinto who, despite winning two of the ten events, failed to secure a position in the crucial top five thereby missing the chance to win a world title at Lowers, his home break.
Griff was murdered by four seventeenths at waves he should’ve owned, Pipe, Sunset, Bells and Rio. And when he fell in the round of sixteen at Teahupoo, oowee, out came the waterworks, the twenty five year old crying over a loss for the first time since he was twelve.
This year has been markedly different, seconds at Sunset, Margs and El Salvador and a very controversial win at Slater’s Surf Ranch securing his spot in the final five and a slot in the US Olympic Surf Team, which is coached by Brett Simpson, one of the ablest and worst-used men in sports.
Now, Colapinto has revealed the role Academy Award winning actor Matthew McConaughey, who watched the Sunset event from the Red Bull Athlete Lounge, played in his success.
As Colapinto told People magazine, McConaughey “hurled magnificent verbal thunder and lightning” before heats and it propelled the San Clementine into the season of his life, culminating with a ticket to Teahupoo in 2024 and a seat at the champions table in September.
Colapinto has since returned the favour, advising McConaughey’s kid Levi, who made a stunning debut on Instagram three weeks ago with surf heavyweights lining up to praise his skills.
The WSL personality famous for his steroidal tits, Strider Wasilewski, wrote, “Sick one grom” while former pro surfer Yadin Nicol simply melted, “So sick, Levi!”
Colapinto says Levi’s “been super psyched on surfing so I’ve been helping him with some surfing tips. He comes to San Clemente and surfs our local wave. It seems like they’re getting super into it, and that’s rad.”
McConaughey’s “love of surf is unquestionable” although his career was almost dashed on the rocks with turns as Steve Addington in Surfer, Dude and Moondog in Beach Bum”.
(Editor’s note: this story is a culmination of three hours sitting in front of a blank screen watching the click meter stutter and grafting an even-more-pointless-than-usual story over an otherwise fruitful afternoon drinking rum treated with squirts of lime and grapefruit juice.)
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ah. thank you kindly. WEDGGIE!
did i respond? so forgetfull these daze
Word will spread and McConaughey will pick up new pro clients. He won’t be like, “Take the first wave, that gives you psychological advantage, mate” but more like this:
“Jordy, did you know unbelievable is the stupidest word in the dictionary?”
Jordy smiles.
McConaughey: “Throw that word away. Put it in the garbage. Nothing’s unbelievable. That’s number one.”
Jordy: “”What’s number two?”
McConaughey: “I’m gonna call you Cal now on, because Jordy makes you sound girlie. Yeah Cal. I like that. I know you aren’t from Cali but you’re a Cowboy like me. You’re a Cowboy gliding across the wave. Picture yourself galloping and gliding into the sunset…use the power of your imagination.
You can be the champ. I know that to be true. Nothing is Unbelievable – God I hate that word. I’m here to tell you that anything is believable.
The time has come, son. The sun is setting and time is running out…(breaks out singing)…Don’t let the sun go down on me…Although I search myself, it’s always someone else I see…And what I see, what I see in the present moment, is that you are a Cowboy and the ocean out there, those waves breakin…they could break a man’s heart…(singing) Don’t go breakin my heart, don’t go breakin my heart…but Cal, you are a Cowboy and your heart is strong and you sing the song that all Cowboys sing.
And when you grab your board and head out to the waves, remember, I don’t want you to walk or do that surfer skip you boys do…I always thought that was gay…i want you to stride like the Cowboy you are…and when you paddle out, remember, you are a Cowboy, Cal, and the ocean is your range, a wide open range…are you with me?…the ocean is your range, your canvass, and you can paint anything you want on that canvass, right, because you are fucking Picasso.” (Big, knowing smile).
Jordy stands there, confused. “So am I a Cowboy or am I Picasso?”
McConaughey: “See that’s where the magic is, Cal. You’re both. You’re part Cowboy, part Picasso. You’re an ass kicken Cowboy with a secret weapon. You can paint. Are you with me? So I want you to go out there and paint your canvass, do your thing, and I guarantee you one thing, son. You gonna get big time scores. Because I believe in you.
Now the real work begins. You must believe in yourself. And if I told you it’s gonna be easy, I’d be lying to you. It’s going to test you like you’ve never been tested before.”
Jordy scans the surf. The heat’s about to start. “One question.”
McConaughey: “Anything my man.”
Jordy: “It’s mostly rights but just north there’s the odd left coming through, and it’s opening up nice. I fathom I could position myself by the takeoff but a little to the right. What do you think, mate?”
McConaughey: “Here’s how I see it. Be where the waves are, not where they aren’t.”
Jordy: “Brilliant, mate.”
Hot God Fucking Damn!
If that Editor’s Note ain’t
The finest ever
(Poet’s note: I hope a large chunk of ice swam in that rum)
(Editor’s note: this story is a culmination of three hours
sitting in front of a blank screen watching the click meter stutter and
grafting an even-more-pointless-than-usual story over an otherwise
fruitful afternoon drinking rum treated with squirts of lime and
grapefruit juice.)
And it shows DR! Bravo!
plenty of bad domeic acid floating ’round from Laguna’s 60s. Owsley Stanley, much like Cousteau and calerpa toxifolia, inadvertantly released some tank water into the ocean and is rapidly replicating and killing off the weak and sick. I wrote this but I’ll hand it off for anyone who can get my balls back. I inadvertantly released the ball jar into the flush zone!
apparently you can’t read HEbrew….
Alcohol: the cause of, and solution to all of life’s problems
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Tom sarfs!
Alright alright alright!
What’s the magical ratio of lime to grapefruit juice?
Lime 100%
Ditch the grapefruit.
We spent a few years after the gfc hiding out with my mother in law out on the coast. While there we did up her “house”, an old shearers quarters and added a deep verandah along the east side that looked out past a solitary grapefruit tree to Te Motu o Kura (Bare Island).
That overgrown paddock was an orchard back in the 50s but failed thanks to sandy soil and by the time the bus load of hippies showed up in the 70s only that single tree stubbornly remained.
Years later when I turned up it was bursting with fruit thanks to another drifter on the property regularly feeding it possums he shot protecting the old lady’s apricot and plum trees.
Every Friday we would take the week’s windfall fruit, squeeze and mix with tequila and smash down with fish and chips while solving the world’s problems.
So I won’t be ditching the grapefruit but will try Dereks ratio on the verandah this summer and toast the blood and bone of possums and the joy of citrus.
Matey, tequila. Thats a whole other thing, right there.
Jebus, tequila ….
Tequila and Sambucca, not together but independent experiences …. Whoa
Jebus, Sambucca. I rember being in some shit bar in Durban where you had to check your gun and knives in. Absolutely Marlo, heavy cunts all over and me not giving a shit. Giving them heaps and getting away with it. Jebus sometimes looks after fools and idiots.
Much nostril hair was singed in the 80s thanks to flaming sambuccas
“Jebus sometimes looks after fools and idiots”
He sure has snatched me back from the black hole a few times.
…feeding the drifter possums. must have been either Matt Mc and/or Snoop. Snoop’s pitching hamburgers now and Matt Mc is rebounding from those terrible ass-whippings in The Paperboy and Dallas Buyer’s Club. either way that’s not mouth-watering stuff. but fish & chips & tequila wets my lips!
Maybe a splash of pineapple to spice things up?
Four ounces of rum, two squirts of lime and grapefruit juice apiece.
Which rum, d?
Diplomatico!
They sell about 6 of them, D.
Dark, mid to white.
I think you’d be a shoo in with SC 2%ers…
Tending more toward the white af rum end of the scale.
AmIright ???
My cousins husbands imports and blends and further ferments in selected wine barrels and such in Adelaide. Dead Reckoning. Higgghly recommended xox
Heres a pity click for u.
Hang in there sandpaper face
Pity clicks add up!
With this deep dig into surf, I wonder if there might be a bit of guilt for promoting or even jealousy towards the Dark Side’s 5000 articles?
in a bit of a twist…Chas wrote it but DR signed it. or lost a bet at the cockfight.
That’s what I love about these San Clemente groms man. I get older, they stay the same age