World #4 surfer Conner Coffin quits professional surfing after being dumped by tour and major sponsor!

Thoughts and prayers and maybe a tear or two for the Santa Babs style maestro!

Lovely Conner Coffin, the tiny thirty year old from Santa Babs whose gender-bending “cute fem boy” looks make any hot-blooded man want to kiss his eyelashes, has officially quit professional surfing after his early elimination from the US Open of Surfing at Huntington Beach. 

Coffin, who was a world title contender in 2021, lost in the round of 32 and made his decision public shortly thereafter. 

“It was so cool, my brother came down, got my fiancé and family…a lot of people who have been a part of my life and competitive surfing career,” Conner said. “Super special. It kinda started here in Huntington Beach, surfing NSSA [contests]. And this [the US Open of Surfing] was the first big contest I surfed in. I think Hurley gave me the wildcard. Then, I won the Pro Junior here a couple times. A lot of really good memories. It’s kinda weird, but I’m super stoked.”

It’d been a wild two years for Conner, dumped by Rip Curl, his sponsor of five years, and losing his spot on the tour in what he described as “waist-high shit Winkipop.”

Despite his milquetoast manner, Coffin has rarely shied away from controversy. Following the cut from the tour, he savaged the World Surf League’s chief strategy officer in a wild interview.

Per Chas,

He describes how his tour fate was decided by “waist high onshore shit Winikipop.” How the waves were garbage, more or less, the first five events, crushing livelihoods. Dealing with the hatred, amongst his professional surfers, about the cut. “It sucked. I hated it honestly. Big price to pay…” he ends with as Prodan giggles uncomfortably, eyes wide, mouth, framed by well-manicured beard lightly agape, then tries to re-spackle the Wall of Positive Noise by calling this year’s G-Land “really good” before casting blame on magazines of yesteryear for poorly representing the early “dream tour” as all fantastic.

After the premium surf website Stab used “racist tropes” to describes Coffin’s chances, or lack, of winning the 2021 world title, he fired back, Stab, thanks for your continued ‘premium’ journalism, you could spell my name right. It pissed me off for a few minutes, but then I thought about all of the times people have doubted me, said I wasn’t good enough, said I can’t do something that I wanted to do and how I’ve always channeled it and combined that with passion, hard work, and love to accomplish my goals. In posting this, I hope it encourages you guys to use negativity and spin it into a positive and don’t let anyone get you down or keep you from achieving your goals!”

Although the honied era of multi-million dollar contracts is long gone, surf fans can rest easy lest they be worried of his financial future for mammy and daddy Coffin , Rich and Krista, operate a high-end construction biz, delighting in “creating architecturally significant homes”.

The last time we saw ‘em on these pages was one year ago when they listed their one-third share in 101 acres of gorgeous Hollister Ranch dirt, a beachfront enclave that counts blockbuster filmmaker James Cameron, Patagonia founder Yvon Chouinard and minstrel Jackson Browne as owners.

Coffin made his first appearance on BeachGrit in 2015 when he read a short story from the New Yorker called “I will slap you”, admitting the piece fit him well considering he’d once slapped the photography great Tom Carey during a heated showdown.

“I’ve slapped men twice your size and density,” says Coffin.




Maya (left) and the father of the surf industry. Photo: Instagram
Maya (left) and the father of the surf industry. Photo: Instagram

World Record big wave surfer Maya Gabeira roasts surf industry after annual Waterman’s Ball award show!

"I forgot a surf industry even exists."

You may, or may not, know that the annual Waterman’s Weekend took place some few days ago with the more appropriately, but chunky, titled Waterpersons of the Year awards presented by Surf Industry and going to Art Brewer (lifetime achievement), Dr. Cliff Kapono (environmentalist of the year) plus Justine Dupont (Waterperson of the Year). Hosted by the World Surf League Chief of Sport Jessi Miley-Dyer, in lieu of the handsy former CEO Erik Logan, it can almost be guaranteed that there was no dry eyes in the house.


The award, once hoisted by professional surfing’s owner Dirk Ziff and his wife Natasha, was in good hands with Dupont and praise was near universal, Miley-Dyer herself leading the charge.

“It was my absolute privilege to present the Sima Waterperson of the Year award this weekend to @justinedupont33 whose passion, courage, and skill have not only redefined the sport of surfing but have also inspired countless others to embrace to push their limits,” she penned. “And, it was extra special to be there for her while she made her own exciting announcement on the stage! Justine’s humility, kindness, and sportsmanship have not only endeared her fans to worldwide but have also made her a role model for young athletes everywhere. I know the best is yet to come for you!”

Erin Brooks raised the roof while others made praying hands.

Record holding big wave surfer Maya Gabeira, though, wrote, “@surf_industry I forgot a surf industry even exists.”

To be quite honest, I had too but, magically, the industry responded, itself, declaring, “We’ve been at it for 34 years. Where have you been? You’re always welcome here,” while throwing a shaka for good measure.

Well who would have ever guessed?

And who knew its birthday was 1989?

Makes sense, I guess.

Martin Potter likely father.

Gabeira seems to have her hands full, in any case, working for the UN now and continuing to defy Kelly Slater by riding big waves.

David Lee Scales and I did not discuss waterpersons of years but did entertain many other subjects that will be sure to interest you including, but not limited to, Laird Hamilton, Devon Howard… and maybe that’s all.

Worth listening to for a story about Sunny Garcia and Andy Irons in the wild.


This story 4992 has been brought to you by Drink AG1. And that is all I have to say about that.

Trudeau (pictured) ripping for giddy groupies. Photo: Almost Famous
Trudeau (pictured) ripping for giddy groupies. Photo: Almost Famous

Surf groupies giddy as Canada’s Prime Minister “Juicy” Justin Trudeau announces he’s newly single and ready to mingle!

Old-school in-your-face bad behavior.

The U.S. Open of Surfing is in full swing and hotel lobbies, around the Huntington Beach pier zone, are packed to the gills with surf groupies waiting for a chance to see their heroes, maybe make eyes near the elevator bank, possibly be invited upstairs to share a Theraband stretching session or Laird Superfood macha latte then being sent home at an entirely reasonable hour.

Yes, today’s professional surfers are not the randy bears of yesteryear. They are healthy, devoted to meditation and fitness, here for a long time not a good time, and so you can imagine the illicit thrill the aforementioned surf buffs felt when hearing the news, yesterday, that Justin Trudeau and his wife of eighteen years, Sophie Grégoire Trudeau, were separating.

“After many meaningful and difficult conversations, we have made the decision to separate,” Canada’s Prime Minister wrote on Instagram. “As always, we remain a close family with deep love and respect for each other and for everything we have built and will continue to build. For the well-being of our children, we ask that you respect our and their privacy.”

Well-being of children aside, Trudeau is the global leader with the best surfing skills, regularly showing his skills and even rubbing those skills in everyone’s face.

Two-plus years ago, he was beaten by local press for taking a surfing vacation to Tofino on Canada’s first Truth and Reconciliation Day wherein apologies are made for treating the indigenous poorly.

Old-school in-your-face bad behavior.

He was also a notable playboy pre-marriage.

Taj Burrow-style.

Will surfing’s most high-profile lightly narcissistic surf groupie shoot her shot?

More as the story develops.

Griff heeds Steve Addington's verbal thunder.

Surf Olympian Griffin Colapinto credits “verbal thunder” from Hollywood superstar Matthew McConaughey for sudden success!

McConaughey's "love of surf is unquestionable" although his career was almost dashed on the rocks with turns as Steve Addington in Surfer, Dude and Moondog in Beach Bum”.

You’ll remember only twelve months ago, tears falling for Griffin Colapinto who, despite winning two of the ten events, failed to secure a position in the crucial top five thereby missing the chance to win a world title at Lowers, his home break. 

Griff was murdered by four seventeenths at waves he should’ve owned, Pipe, Sunset, Bells and Rio. And when he fell in the round of sixteen at Teahupoo, oowee, out came the waterworks, the twenty five year old crying over a loss for the first time since he was twelve. 

This year has been markedly different, seconds at Sunset, Margs and El Salvador and a very controversial win at Slater’s Surf Ranch securing his spot in the final five and a slot in the US Olympic Surf Team, which is coached by Brett Simpson, one of the ablest and worst-used men in sports. 

Now, Colapinto has revealed the role Academy Award winning actor Matthew McConaughey, who watched the Sunset event from the Red Bull Athlete Lounge, played in his success.

As Colapinto told People magazine, McConaughey “hurled magnificent verbal thunder and lightning” before heats and it propelled the San Clementine into the season of his life, culminating with a ticket to Teahupoo in 2024 and a seat at the champions table in September. 

Colapinto has since returned the favour, advising McConaughey’s kid Levi, who made a stunning debut on Instagram three weeks ago with surf heavyweights lining up to praise his skills. 

The WSL personality famous for his steroidal tits, Strider Wasilewski, wrote, “Sick one grom” while former pro surfer Yadin Nicol simply melted, “So sick, Levi!”

Colapinto says Levi’s “been super psyched on surfing so I’ve been helping him with some surfing tips. He comes to San Clemente and surfs our local wave. It seems like they’re getting super into it, and that’s rad.”

McConaughey’s “love of surf is unquestionable” although his career was almost dashed on the rocks with turns as Steve Addington in Surfer, Dude and Moondog in Beach Bum”.

(Editor’s note: this story is a culmination of three hours sitting in front of a blank screen watching the click meter stutter and grafting an even-more-pointless-than-usual story over an otherwise fruitful afternoon drinking rum treated with squirts of lime and grapefruit juice.)

Violence against surf journalists on rise after string of unprecedented direct message attacks!

"Hey there super cool guy, hope you're having good times making fun of folks from your 'man cave' at mom's house."

I wonder if Mark Zuckerberg saw this future back in 2004 when he pressed the launch button for Facebook? A world where “disinformation” reigns, hurt feelings bloom, professional longboarders excoriated for practicing safety, surf journalists targeted and attacked via unsolicited direct messages.

There I was, minding my own business, trying to find a new backdoor into Kelly Slater’s Instagram account when I noticed there was little orange “1” paper airplane in the upper right corner of my cellular phone screen. Clicking, and expecting a congratulations for nearing 5000 posts on the culturally valuable surf blog BeachGrit, I was instead met with unexpected viciousness.

“Hey there super cool guy,” it began, getting my hopes right up before crashing them right down with, “hope you’re having good times making fun of folks from your ‘man cave’ at mom’s house. Tired of the constant snarky shit that comes out of your mouth when you’re not putting shit up your nose. Unfollowing.”

The growing trend of bashing surf journalists extends to the preeminent thinker Sam George. The man who, legitimately self-coined himself the “King of Rincon” according to a first-person account, was recently and ruthlessly dragged for instructing Tahitians how to properly pronounce their most famous wave.

Chris Cote, rising World Surf League voice, casually dropped a “no cap” in Joel Tudor’s feed and was excoriated for not using the language of a “grown adult man.”

The United Nations Educational, Scientific and Cultural Organization, understanding the danger, declared:

From 2016 to the end of 2020, UNESCO recorded 400 killings of journalists, a nearly 20 percent decrease from the previous five-year period. The declining trend continued in 2021, with 55 journalists killed.

Yet, the global rate of impunity for killing journalists is worryingly high: nine times out of ten, the case remains unresolved. Where the number of journalist killings is high, so is impunity for these killings, creating a continued cycle of violence.

Journalist imprisonment is at record highs. Online violence and harassment spurs self-censorship and, sometimes, physical attacks. Journalists have also increasingly been attacked while covering protests, by various actors (including both security forces and protest participants).

To say nothing of mean DMs, rude castigations, unnecessary pokings.

Is Sam George the King of Rincon though?

This story 4990 brought to you by The Inertia which would like to remind you that anyone can be a surf journalist.