"Younger surfers are pissed that 'kook' Slater is getting in and wondering who the kid is that didn't get in because Kelly Slater got his slot."
Hours ago, the World Surf League made an entirely unsurprising announcement that 11x World Champion Kelly Slater will, officially, receive the 2024 Championship Tour’s season-long wildcard. The 52-year-old is clearly the greatest competitive surfer to ever live. He is also, clearly, very much past his prime. Slater’s interest wains from event to event. Even when he is engaged, Kelly Slater’s old body cannot challenge the younger crop.
And herein lies the trouble.
Slater may be a light ratings boon for the aforementioned “global home of surfing,” but his instance of hanging on robs others of showcasing their talent thus stunting the overall game.
Does Kelly Slater retard professional surfing?
An important question. The short answer is “yes.” The long answer is also “yes.” There is still a chimera of “Kelly Slater” out there that performs well in certain conditions. Barreling lefts, say. Pipeline, Cloudbreak, Teahupo’o. Except, let’s be honest, he now performs well for a quinquagenarian. His name, no doubt, draws viewers but what are they left with? Their hero bowing out in the elimination round. If the World Surf League had a competent Chief of Sport, it would grant Kelly Slater a lifetime achievement award and move him to the booth. If Kelly Slater was not a wild freak, he would read the tea leaves and leave with dignity.
The pairing of incompetence and stubbornness tea leaves us where we are.
According to a well-placed source, there is much grumbling in the ranks. Notably “younger surfers are pissed that ‘kook’ Slater is getting in and wondering who didn’t get in because Kelly Slater got his slot.”
Jessi Miley-Dyer did not address in her press release. The Chief of Sport simply declared, “We’re excited to welcome and officially confirm the new class of Championship Tour competitors.”
Miguel Pupo joins Slater.
New class.
More as the story develops.
Hey Chas
This’d be fun. & I know you can extract the metrics
How much does the WSL – shit caning it, Kelly & shark attacks make up as a percentage of BG’s annual revenue.
Or to simply for every 100 clicks how many contain this bait.
I’m gunna say 78% – warm?
‘professional surfboarding’ hey..
fuck I need to get a life
Professional Surfboarding is so boring! Is the only thing that matters now is who will be in the Olympics every 4 years? Is there a way for an upstart videographer to make enough money showing us the next generation with the tap cut off from the legacy tee shirt brands? Or did the internet kill that forever? The early 90’s had this kind of boring pro tour and the video tape gave us life while creating heroes that some of which are still making money as free surfers many years past their prime. It looks like the next gen needs to run in to the wall at the end of the dead end street before something cool rises up. If Freddy can make it to the finals this year I have faith we are very close to that wall. There is no turning back, full steam ahead!!! Go Freddy go!!!
non-sequitar of the day: the smallest snake in the world…The Leptotyphlopidae (commonly called slender blind snakes or thread snakes[2]) are a family of snakes found in North America, South America, Africa and Asia. All are fossorial and adapted to burrowing, feeding on ants and termites. Two subfamilies are recognized.[2]
Is this snake ‘retarded’? No but if you look closely, this thing has a forked tongue, scales, is blind, and lives underground. kinda like KS. (with two families)
https://scontent-sjc3-1.xx….
“Pipeline, Cloudbreak, Teahupo’o. Except, let’s be honest, he now performs well for a quinquagenarian”
I disagree, if it’s big and hollow he will still perform well for any age.
In fact in those conditions he will perform better than 90% of those unnamed “younger surfers”.
Does that justify a WC for the whole season? Probably not, but let’s not forget who this guy is and what he has achieved.
And that 95% of them that qualified are going to spend the next 5 years re-qualifying on the Challenger Series. A good life, no doubt. Thanks, mom and dad!
Kelly at Teahupoo, Pipe and Cloudbreak + doggin’ it everywhere else is better than a year from Ramzi or whoever is next in line
As much as I want Kelly to piss off already, hearing the entitled 2% having a sook is worth it.
This reeks of white tour owner privilege
What about that dog that lived to our 31 years – just kicked on!!!! FUCK
Ain’t nuthin’ changed but the weather….
Surely Kelly is doing this out of kindness to all the CTers who may never win a title, or a comp, or even make it past the mid-year slice? They will at least be able to tell the grandkids: “I surfed against and beat the greatest competitive surfer who ever was…” And then fudge it when the kids start asking questions about how good Kelly was when said victory occurred.
Ok Ms. Fields, that’ll be enough of that…
cookies & ice cream!
a solid new/old group joins/rejoins wsl2024 ct. no ringers ala gabe, jj, Felipe, ai, etc but a solid group for sure
+a couple rejoins who fell off for good reason… ks is still one of the best competiton surfers in the world so why not. .
Ramzi Boukhiam. As deserving of an injury wildcard as any since the wsl surfaced. Worse is that Slater accepts it instead of directing it to Boukhiam.
May I ask who are these wiz kids we are going to miss out on, thought you Mr. Chas wanted to cull the herd down, what’s up?
Who are these kids?
JUSTICE FOR RAMZi!!! AMANDLA!!
Kelly fucked up bad, not retiring after that last Pipe win. Freddy P I think it was, at trestles ..
He was past prime, came in after a perfect 10 in his heat, and went 💥 peace see ya later, I’m out . Stellar mic drop . Kelly tho , wtf , quit the cock blocking already bud.
Squee!