The "global home of surfing" steps in it. Again.

The champagne was not yet warm when controversy rippled though the surf world over Laura Enever’s recent big wave record. Hours ago, the World Surf League declared Narabeen’s first daughter to be the Guinness World Records™ title holder for “largest wave surfed paddle-in (female).”

Awkward syntax aside, a real moment. Enever, 31, no doubt deserved all the praise and accolades for her North Shore bomb. The one-time junior champion’s transition to meaty water beasts truly an inspiration.

“Huge congratulations to Laura for this incredible achievement,” Jessi Miley-Dyer, World Surf League Chief of Sport, declared. “Laura is fearless, committed, and a real inspiration, and I’m so proud to celebrate her. These World Records really allow us to shine the spotlight on athletes like Laura who are pushing the boundaries of Big Wave surfing.”

Notably missing from any chatter, whatsoever and however, was France’s Justine Dupont. The French charger, who now resides in Nazaré, was part of a Cortes Bank strike mission. It garnered her three awards at the just-concluded Big Wave Challenge awards.

Biggest Wave, Ride of the Year and Surfer of the Year (women)

Her giant, while towed, was estimated to be 75-feet angry.

Notably, the Big Wave Challenge awards are no longer World Surf League owned.

World Surf League Puts Con In Condecession

The World Surf League, despite “really wanting to shine the spotlight on athletes pushing the boundaries of Big Wave surfing,” had no representative there with tape measure.

Thus zero Guinness love.

Now, those who have made big waves their business are properly bewildered by the seemingly condescending way that the World Surf League has co-opted the riding of giants. Billing itself as the “global home of surfing,” the WSL has made a mockery of everything that is not high-performance shortboarding. The longboard tour is a joke, the Big Wave World Tour a fraud.

It has also made a mockery of high-performance shortboarding just to make sure.

Every television production the World Surf League has attached itself to has either ended in embarrassment (The Ultimate Surfer) or failure (Make or Break).

Might Dupont’s wave being part of HBO’s award-winning 100-Foot Wave series be part of the cold shoulder?

Something more cruel?

Certainly more as the story develops.

It's Laura Enever's world, we're just living in it.

To know Laura Enever is to love her. The flaxen haired beauty from Narabeen, Australia burst into minds and hearts as a feisty junior way back in 2009 when she was dubbed Champion of Youngsters. Her skill on a surfboard, undeniable. Enever completed on the World Surf League Championship Tour for years then somehow transitioned to a big wave surfer over the years, a pivot no one saw coming.

On Wednesday, she captured the official record for largest ever wave paddled into by woman.

43.6 feet to be exact.

The beast was stroked into off Oahu’s fabled North Shore. It was captured in all its glory by exceedingly famous water photographer Daniel Russo.

“I knew when it picked me up that it was a massive wave,” Enever told The Washington Post, “But then when I looked over the edge and saw how far I had to go down and how big the drop was, I was like, ‘Okay, this is the biggest wave you ever caught.’”

It took the World Surf League 10 months to certify the feat. The delay likely caused by ex-CEO Erik Logan making shenanigans.

Being a silly goose etc.

“At the end of the day, paddle surfing is just you in the ocean and being out there,” Enever continued. “You don’t have that assistance from a jet ski and all that speed and power to tow you into the wave. It’s just all on you and your ocean knowledge. Obviously, there can be a bit of luck to it, but it’s just about connecting with the ocean that day and that time.”

The 32-year-old’s wave topped the 42-footer that Andrea Moller paddled into at Pe’ahi in Maui in 2016.

Oahu > Maui or at least for now.

And please don’t forget that “democracy dies in darkness.”

"Super unfair!"

There was once a time when things were simple and people stayed in their assigned categories. Bad boys were bad. Society girls were rich. Jocks were sporty. Nerds were smart. Weirdos were weird. Surfers had heads filled with air. Society existing in perfect balance. Of course, as it goes with evolution, the main attribute of any in their designated camp was counterbalanced so as not to give one ultimate power. Bad boys, for example, smoldered and attracted society girls, bringing them down lest they rise too high. Nerds were ugly and awkward lest they combine their big brains and good looks to clean up all the babes. Surfers, empty and vapid, a good enough time but never taken seriously.

Harmony.

Alas, all has been shattered. While nerds like Mark Zuckerberg has been attempting to shed his ugly and awkward for years, it is clearly not working.

Enter the World’s Smartest Surfer

The world’s smartest surfer was, once, Bron Heussenstamm. The Southern Californian wasn’t a great surfer, though good enough to regularly have photos appear in magazines. He wasn’t that smart, but smart enough to get into USC. Barton Lynch and Ace Buchan also considered “smart” but by surf’s wonderfully low standard.

Now?

Kanoa Igarashi has shattered the status quo.

Yesterday, the Japan-by-way-of-Huntington-Beach 26-year-old posted a studious self portrait. Was he examining surf reports? Maybe putting items in his online basket then taking them back out again?

No.

He was attending class at Harvard.

Igarashi attends Harvard. He is the world’s sitting surfing silver medalist. He is the current World Surf League number 14. He has boy band good looks.

His only burden?

The voice of a muppet.

And occasional bouts with Tourettes.

Igarashi having so much, while others have so little, has sparked a new class war, one that threatens to undermine the last bits of peace and goodwill on earth. Picketing currently being planned for Portugal, where Igarashi also lives an incredibly rich and satisfying European life.

Super unfair.