“There's nothing like (the Pipeline Masters) for
showcasing the sport at its absolute staggering best," says Nick
Carroll.
Once upon a time, well, until two years ago, the most
prestigious surfing contest in the world was the Pipeline
Masters, a tuberiding event held at Pipe on
Oahu’s North Shore.
The Pipeline Masters was created in 1971 by the wonderful Fred
Hemmings, one of the pivotal figures in
surfing whose contribution to the game was largely ignored ‘cause
of his conservative bent, and won that year by Jeff Hakman,
followed by two years of dominance by Mr Pipe Gerry Lopez.
The Pipeline Masters was a contest whose crown was almost as
gilded as a world title. Slater would win it seven times, as a
twenty year old in 1992, and aged almost forty-two in 2013. Andy
Irons won four times, 2002 through 2008, and it hosted multiple
world title showdowns, the most precious Andy v Kelly in 2003
and Italo v Gabriel in 2019.
In a wild and fitting last breath, it gifted victory to John
John Florence in 2021. The Hawaiian took his iron hard-on and blew
the achey pressure in his balls into his first, and only, Pipe
Masters crown. Fitting that his little brother Ivan, who also grew
up at Pipe and who looks like a roughed up Mason Ho, scored a ten
in the event and finished third.
Then, and as you may recall, a hammer was taken to this precious
cultural relic when the WSL, and Vans who own the intellectual
property rights to the Pipeline Masters, couldn’t swing a mutually
satisfying agreement with Billabong for ‘em to continue as naming
sponsor of the event.
See, because the WSL’s wanted to start the 2022 season in Hawaii
and end it at Trestles in September, they had to run the 2021 Pipe
Masters in January. Therefore there couldn’t be two events in the
same year so the usual December slot wasn’t used.
This meant that for 2022, the WSL had to juggle the events and
come up with new dates and names.
The Volcom Pipe Pro got dropped in favour of Billabong taking
over that slot, renaming it, awkwardly, Billabong Pro
Pipeline.
The Pipeline Masters still runs on its usual dates, December
8-20, 2022, but it’s an invite-only event with a focus on
Vans-sponsored surfers. Cash is good, broadcast is fun, the gals
get their share of the waves and loot, but it ain’t no Pipeline
Masters.
Last year, it got vacuumed of its stars when
John John, Kelly, Toledo, Medina, Ferreira and Gilmore all pulled
out citing injuries and “scheduling conflicts”.
This year, Vans ain’t even pretending to invite the best in the
biz.
Problem here is the confusion the switcharoo brings to surfing
history. A week before his fiftieth birthday in 2022, Kelly Slater,
looking like an old-school bull dagger with his thick neck and
shaved head, won the Billabong Pro Pipeline.
It should’ve been his eighth Pipeline Masters title, and plenty
of newsrooms were labelling it as such.
Between sobs Slater said, “I committed my life to this.”
But it wasn’t a Pipeline Masters title.
And, despite Wikipedia being edited to include
Billabong Pro Pipeline titles, it still ain’t and
never will be.
