Night of the Living Nerd.
Rinse kits, changing mats, changing robes, technical beach chairs, technical beach wagons, pocket shakas and surf hats were once, not long ago, the sole territory of The Inertia. Yes, the “definitive voice of surfing” understood, early, that surfing was going to experience a massive adult learner invasion and quickly included guides and direction on completely unnecessary accoutrement alongside its Huffington Post-inspired milquetoast servings.
The Inertia assumed it would be safe to till these kook ass fields alone, harvesting branded post opportunities alone until, that is, the corpse of Surfer Magazine was re-animated.
You have certainly followed along as the once-proud “Bible of the Sport” was purchased by a “tech powered” media company nearly a year ago. Surfer immediately telegraphed that its zombie version had no soul, clearly, but also no clue. The first hire was a spicy food lovin’ gal who called Tennessee’s Smoky Mountains home. Some thousand-odd miles from the nearest ocean. Or Surf Ranch. A series of embarrassments followed including, most recently, spitting on the only rule of surf journalism.
The Inertia, though, still safe.
Its pasty blend of awkward and uncomfortable too fine to be replicated.
For yesterday, Surfer waded directly into the surf hat game, “product testing” what the writer declared as the “The BEST surf hat… ever??”
Double barreled question marks certainly signaling more to come.
The Solite surf hat was, anyhow, described thusly:
This hat ticks all boxes with comfort, functionality and high quality material. The mesh ear flaps did not obscure my hearing and the chin strap was pretty comfortable for the most part and never came loose. And I found the adjustable straps quite user friendly.
Wearing the visor backward when paddling back out felt like I didn’t even have it on my head when duck diving.
Negatives: for me, none really. I guess if I could say one thing it would be to lengthen the bill about an inch if possible but still good as is.
A fine review, no doubt, but also terror rippling through The Inertia’s Boulder, Colorado headquarters. Surfer in the surf hat games means rinse kits, changing mats, changing robes and even pocket shakas are next. The completely uninformed certainly choosing to listen to the august Surfer over The Inertia, no?
Will The Inertia offer a fire sale on its co-branded content? Might we be able to purchase a BeachGrit car air freshener review for pennies on the dollar?
Reaching out now.
In the meantime, please buy a BeachGrit car air freshener. It “brings the anti-depressive smell of BeachGrit into your car, office or home.”