US surf Olympian John John Florence gonna be a daddy in May!

“Swallowed a watermelon seed and now it’s growing. We’re excited for our little baby boy to join us in May…”

Exactly one yea ago, John John Florence, the shaggy haired boy who enchanted the world in Vogue fashion spreads and as the first tweenie to ride Pipeline, married his long-time girlfriend, the Australian Lauryn Cribb.

John John Florence proposed to Cribb, a model turned horticulture student, in 2019 using a diamond ring his mama Alex had found on the beach and right before a one-month yacht voyage.

“It was a blazing hot day, he was so nervous that he didn’t want to go in the water even though we were both sweating profusely,” Lauryn Cribb told Vogue in an interview that included a lavish spread of the wedding. “He had a knee injury, so you can imagine I didn’t get the cookie cutter dropped knee proposal. Laying down on the hot beach at midday, he made me ‘look over there’ as he grabbed the ring his mother had given him as a placeholder.”

The pair were married in the nearby Waimea Valley although torrential rains, the same storms that created an epic river wave that nearly slaughtered sad-eyed degenerate Jamie O’Brien, almost forced a switcharoo of locations.

“The Waimea River actually flooded the venue the day before, which, despite our concerns and the outcome the day of, is considered good fortune when the river is flowing,” said Cribb. “We were very lucky it subsided and the grounds were not at all muddy or wet.”

In the photo spread, which you can examine here, the couple and their myriad friends danced the night away under a grand marquee festooned with lights, the happy couple hoisted upon guest’s shoulders, forming a miracle of love against the heavens.

Now, four months into the gestation process, Cribb has announced the forthcoming birth of a baby version of John John Florence, due in May. 

“Swallowed a watermelon seed and now it’s growing,” wrote Cribb.  “We’re excited for our little baby boy to join us in May…”

In a doz years, that little boy gonna be shredding Pipe?

In twenty, ruling the Saudi owned tour?

And, y’think, John John Florence going to gift the boy a similarly unique handle?