Record of ethical perfection remains unblemished.
The “Global Home of Surfing” is, as anyone and everyone knows, a beacon of environmentalist. Preaching how the ocean is not only our home but also their office. Practicing planting a bush in Western Australia. Its greenwashing so professionally thorough that it is almost impossible to find fault. Power hungry wave pools in deserts run completely carbon neutral. Joe Turpel’s aloha shirts stitched from… I don’t know but something anti-toxic.
And when one is so pure, so righteous, it is only right that others should be shamed for dirty filth. That gifts should be rejected if they are not hand pumped from the wells of ultra-sustainability.
Such, I am told, happened to the noted comedian Eddie Ifft. The very funny man regularly packs clubs around the nation and is, himself, a keen surfer. Putting the two together, one day, he thought he might make a difference by hosting a show wherein all proceeds would go to the World Surf League’s PURE initiative. The show was organized and held in Hollywood’s famous Comedy Store with other comedians lending their talents to the cause.
At the end of the night, $10,000 was raised and presented to the World Surf League. According to Ifft, it was rejected, World Surf League holding its pristine nose high, because the Comedy Store serves some drinks that include straws.
The horror.
The money was given to Save the Waves instead. An organization that clearly has no scruples.
Thank you, in any case, World Surf League for operating without hypocrisy.
Huzzah.
Truly an inspiration for young environmentalists, everywhere, who would one day like to sell bulldozing wetlands to create even more power hungry wave pools as earth friendly.
I would love to know what the percentage increase in waste caused by covid is. Everything became disposable and human consumption seemed to have ramped up exponentially.
Says the guy pushing blades to shave balls.
Geez, the Woz really are clutching at….
Stores…ladder stores
Paper straws weren’t engineered to withstand booger sugar.
Or crushed death cap mushrooms!
this just in
**Breaking News**
Surf website BeachGrit has boycotted the PipeMasters.
more as the story doesn’t develop
Fuck, I tuned in yesterday to see guys doing airs with forty-something heat totals and Makua Rothman mumbling over it.
Turned it off almost immediately.
the local football team runs by the house and i noticed most of them are wearing Van’s tennies…sad.
Yeah but I don’t see any waves pools being lodged in any turtles noses
Straws are for suckers
The WSL’s continued climb up toward the top of the bafoonery ladder is the gift that keeps on giving.
Baileys ladder?
I wonder if other billionaires are being offered private hand-outs from comedians to support the parts of their businesses that are failing through poor management.
For example, maybe Key and Peele could give the Koch bros. a helping hand to make sure they have presents under their Christmas trees.
Or Chris Rock might provide the eggnog for Warren Buffetts holiday festivities.
Perhaps the world needs a new charity run by comedians for the benefit of poor billionaires across the whole globe…
WSL stIFFT armed him
no pipe masters live stream? jk don’t care
Fuck your avatar needs a slap.
sonic youth > “we’re now off the nippple!”
https://rarehistoricalphoto…
I am struggling with these new eco straws. Most of the time they disintegrate before my drink is done.
Pro tip. You don’t need a straw to drink.
THIS is the pro tip I needed and even without this tip I drank a beer, minus the straw, after riding some epic 1-2s yesterday…
saw that you bought a sixer for some under age kids. You da man!
…and a pack a Marlboro lights (in a box)!
‘mican blues w/ menthol. light my fire~just finished a mile…moonlight & grunions…have it ur way…https://youtu.be/u2IpqvvlT24?si=Q8J…
paying it forward bro!
Ever had a smoothie without a straw? Ends up all over your upper lip then you end up walking around with it most of the day till a good friend tells you.
Pro-tip. Use your tongue to lick your lips then a sly wipe of your mouth on your arm.
recycle paper napkins and only use one bathroom tissue…
Sheryl Crow’s environmental opinions are not limited to toilet paper. She also
believes paper napkins “represent the height of wastefulness”, while she
has designed a clothing line which features a detachable “dining
sleeve” that wearers can use to wipe their mouth while eating. (The Guardian)
You do if you don’t have arms.
WSL prefers you use rolled up Ben Franklins over straws when clubbing.
Me too
While I cannot argue with the usage of Benjamins to facilitate nose candy(even though I haven’t participated since the 80s), I find the WSL who travels the world via jets while placing banners(made from petrochemicals) all over beaches to be rather hypocritical. Now of only they’d honor Ronnie G at HB with an enviro-friendly statue we could all move on from this debate…or could we?
I use clubs, personally.
I find that rolled paper currency does little damage to baby seals, as it lacks mass.