"Ain't Silver Surfer a Kelly Slater-lookin' dude?"
Surfing’s anti-trans movement, riding a wave of successes after causing a massive dip in Bud Light sales and forcing wetsuit maker Rip Curl to apologize for using the thoroughly modern and inspirational Sasha Jane Lowerson as cheeky ambassador, was left stunned, in recent days, after the revelation that the much-loved comic book character Silver Surfer will be played by a woman in the just-announced Fantastic Four reboot.
Julia Garner, who burst onto the scene as spitfire spewing Ruth in the popular drama Ozark, will join Pedro Pascal as Reed Richards/Mr. Fantastic, Vanessa Kirby as Sue Storm/The Invisible Woman, Joseph Quinn as Johnny Storm/The Human Torch and Ebon Moss-Bachrach as Ben Grimm/The Thing.
Comic book fans are buzzing that the film, slated to be released on July 25, 2025, will be set in a 1960s alternate universe.
Unawaked surf fans, though, furious at the gender bending with one declaring, “Ain’t Silver Surfer a Kelly Slater-lookin’ dude?
While the Silver Surfer isn’t the first Marvel character whose gender has been changed for the Marvel Cinematic Universe, or MCU, (Captain Marvel’s Mar-Vell is also a man in the comics), but this is considered the most significant example to date.
According to nerds trying to head off the aforementioned surf traditionalists from throwing Marvel comic books on top of Rip Curl trunks on top of Bud Light cases in the backyard bonfire:
Technically, though, Marvel isn’t changing the character’s gender in this case, but rather which character becomes Silver Surfer. Traditionally, Silver Surfer’s origin depicts him as Norrin Radd, an inhabitant of the utopian world of Zenn-La. Zenn-La becomes the latest target of Galactus’ world-devouring hunger, and so Radd agrees to become Galactus’ herald in exchange for sparing Zenn-La and saving the life of his lover, Shalla-Bal.
This Shalla-Bal sounds real suspicious and there are some camps who claim “In a twisted future version of the MCU, Norrin bestows a portion of his power onto Shalla and the two serve as the twin heralds of Galactus (who in this universe is actually a hyper-evolved version of Mister Fantastic and Invisible Woman’s son, Franklin).”
Sounds real suss to me.
Real suss.
Thoughts?
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why is hollywood in the crapper? yep.
yesterday I went and saw Godzilla x Kong. what an absolute load of $135 million garbage.
the previews showed a new Mad Max trailer, in which the lead protagonist in the next installment of the Mad Max Saga is, yep you guessed it; a girl. URRRRRGGGGHHHHH!
what about Surfline Man? when are we going to find out that our hero is a cross dressing, non-binary, estrogen injected, Mr Winky cut off, trans he-she?
Mad Maxine? Mad Maxi Pad? You can take it from here, Stick Man.
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She was great as a russian influencer!!
Played by a woman with a penis or a normal one?
I don’t know shit about fuck.
Xox
Dang.. Seems I’ll have to wait out another award season for the meme wars greatest hero movie. “Kyle – for those who don’t wear capes”
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Wait a minute! I smell poo poo touch! Where’s Elo?….
I’d almost lobby for another season of “Ozark” but that’s the first show that I’ve ever watched where I hated every single character.
What about the old cunt that lived in the basement?
He died before he could become annoying.
No way – Ruth was fucking awesome.
She may have been the only sympathetic character on the show.
Cartel guy was cool.
Kid Rock, everyone’s favourite rosy necked country rap rocker, is to write and record the Silver Surfer soundtrack.
Fans of BEACHE & GRITTANA will be doubly overjoyed with the news that Kid is also the new face of B&G.
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His nephew/godson K-Hole Andy?No! will be joining him on a surf school/brewery/gunshop/dispensary tour this summer along with daddy DeanKnow Andy?No!…
Already in the Oscar conversation
if we’re going to have a female Silver Surfer, this obviously needs to be Galactus https://uploads.disquscdn.c…
Sssshhhh!
Or they will try and cancel Mel Brooks.
Kolohe in the Semi’s at Huntington beach. Flat surf, though, so not worth checking out.
is he riding a DHD though?
I saw an interview after one of his heat wins. He said he is going to try requalifying, and he will give it two or three years! Maybe he will win a tour event yet, or maybe even a championship. The guy seems to have far more grit than I had expected!
With superpowers like surviving crabs in Baja.
My first thought is what type of loser watches those types of movies? My second thought is whether someone who watches the WSL can criticize the viewing preferences of others?
It’s all cos-play and strap on dicks these days, ain’t it, Chas?
What the heck happened, man?
I really don’t know.
Before you know it someone will cast a mustachioed male as Mother Ginger in a kids ballet.
That’ll be the start of the end.
The horror.