"The only sport I remember seeing this was gymnastics with that Russian coach."
And thus the Games begin. Our surfers are now, officially, in Tahiti and the joy of anticipation, of brotherhood, of Olympic fervor has instantly devolved for the United States surf team in what must be considered a blunder of historic proportions. As is the rule in our Sport of Kings, communication is generally non-existent. Decisions are made and implemented with zero nod to transparency, explanation or care for The People™ and their feelings on matters.
As such, the aforementioned grouping of John John Florence, Carissa Moore, Griffin Colapinto, Caitlin Simmers and such will be guided, almost exclusively, by Australian coaches.
Shane Dorian was introduced, weeks ago, as captain, somehow replacing Brett Simpson but, apparently, the powers that be decided those flying the green and gold should be responsible for the red, white and blue.
Rage over the move bubbling through the social medias.
Australian hero, and apparent coach, Luke Egan shared his “Team USA” post, replete with flag, to Instagram teeing off the meltdown.
Florence, notably, opting out of the pictoral.
USA team with Aussie coaches unethical what wrong with Shane Dorian, Tom Curren, or the goat as you call him,” one punter wondered.
“The very reason surfing has sold out so disappointing anything for a dollar, I will never understand greed in such a great sport of surfing ever, congratulations your decision to take a position has turned a nation against you, hopefully other would be so called coaches take notice, pride and passion before coin disgraceful behaviour, it will take a long long time to be forgiven if ever,” another posited.
“So the USA can’t get their own coaches? 😂team AUS-USA,” a third pointed out and on and on it goes.
An extremely well-respected professional close to the levers of power asked, directly to BeachGrit’s royal me, “Why would you give the other teams fuel to run off of….like look they need people from my country or another country to beat me. I did notice JJ wasn’t wanting pics with the Aussies. In Japan Olympics we didn’t have coaches from other countries. The only sport I remember seeing this was gymnastics with that Russian coach.”
The mess, like Adidas’ fumble, is now very public.
Thoughts?
Prayers?
More, in either case, as the story develops.
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Surfing that wave I want to have the coaches that are going to keep our surfers alive-if that’s the Australians so be it.
I was hoping Chaz could help himself from writing one article without mentioning Kelly Slater but couldn’t. He had to include someone else, PATHETIC
No mention of who’s looking after Egan’s clothing line Deepanalus.
Didn’t someone tell these guys that you take the sunnies off for photos?
It happens in soccer all the time. I don’t see the big deal.
Who cares, seriously?
Team Ijizzinherundies for the win
Which one I’m not sure
Just as long as the seppos win…..
Why not? The USA has been coached by an Australian [Rupert] for decades!
Chas is busy wanking around Paris while the BBC puts out the hard hitting shark news: https://uploads.disquscdn.c…
First bears, now sharks! What’s next, heroin addicted hippos?
i read that headline and am concerned that i must also test positive too…from eating a shark taco…?
wel if actual surfers can represent a country they are not from , why not the coach ?
what’s even better is Erik standing in for John John.
love how Caity shows up decked out in the “look at what I found in the thrift shop” gear
Pro surfing might be the most sold out hypocritical “sport” I’ve come across. Carbon foot print, judging towers, hotel sex boats, aussie coaches, fart sniffing, lame claims, anti-establishment(lol), etc.
If they would be honest about who they are and what they are about I would respect them more.
“Carbon foot print, judging towers, hotel sex boats, aussie coaches, fart sniffing, lame claims”
now that you put it that way, I love it even more.
Cheat’upoo
Don’t forget about Shane Dorian…oh yeah, he’s Hawaiian, nevermind.
Should’ve just given it to unko Eddie. He may not have Polynesian roots, but he roots Polynesians.
Merican passport , makes you merican in my book
Capt Cook: “Let the games begin…” photo TSJ
I’d light a candle, but I’m still waiting for those NFTs to sputter into life…
Hopefully Luke explains to Griffin how embarrassing it would be for the whole USA team if he pinches a loaf in the lineup.
Griff’s arm around Whitty and wearing dorky Disney glasses are not exactly shouting USA kickass either…Good for you John John.
They should have chosen Bicko. They could be on that Chinese yacht spitting the winkle and lighting their pubic hair on fire.