On eve of Gold Medal showdown at Teahupoo, world-record surfer reveals an even more dangerous wave in Japan!

A place where one slip-up could put you in your tomb, your death mask like a tomato surprise that just exploded.

The adventures of the marathon-talking Dylan Graves in his pursuit of the wildest waves on earth have been well-documented on BeachGrit. 

Who could blame us for falling for a man so fascinatingly alive, and who carries a year-round healthy bronze glow, who puts women in a sweat and men who’d formerly never been shackled by another man, under his spell. No wave too big, too out of the way, cold or, in the case of a joint called God’s Crack in Japan, too dangerous. 

We’ve come close to losing Dylan Graves to his passion for dangerous waves before, of course. Only seven months ago, he almost fell to his death exploring “extreme” Brittany, a peninsula in the north-west of France with two thousand miles of surfable coastline.

In today’s video, which falls under the Dylan Graves YouTube channel and not Surfline, our Puerto Rican hero with the little bones but big muscles challenges himself to ride God’s Crack, a wave where one slip-up could put you in your tomb, your death mask like a tomato surprise that just exploded. 

Essential. 

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Gabriel Medina (main image) not squeezing spleens like figure skaters (insert). Photo: ISA/Pablo Jimenez
Gabriel Medina (main image) not squeezing spleens like figure skaters (insert). Photo: ISA/Pablo Jimenez

Left-leaning media lambasts Olympic surfing for lacking the “spleen-squeezing tension of a dicey figure skating triple axel”

But falls in love with the velvety pipes of Joe Turpel. "Let the immaculate vibes wash over you."

Surfing at these 2024 Paris Olympic Games was always going to create some new impression as our Sport of Queens broadened from a handful of addicts and derelicts to everyday folk. Though it has not broken through as might have been imagined, even on the day of days, a solid handful are experiencing televised competitive surfing for the very first time in their lives.

What, then, are their feelings, has a star been born and, if so, who?

Whilst our Jen See accurately described the “painfully authentic vision of what surfing actually looks like,” Luke Winkie, writing for left-leaning Slate, was left with entirely different reaction. Extremely sensual, in fact, and very much related to the smooth sounds of Joe Turpel.

The longtime voice of the World Surf League was cast as play-by-play announcer for US broadcast and appears to be turning first-time viewers all the way on.

Winkie describes his drone as “ASMR-like” and “totally conducive to a no-plans weeknight weed gummy.” The surf action, itself, as “peaceful, narcotizing, and relaxing.”

“We get to watch Olympians conquer the coastline with verve and creativity—disappearing into aquamarine tunnels of tumbling water,” he writes, “cresting the foamy tips—in a way that we never will. And afterward? They get to savor the best vacation anyone could ask for. That is the essence of competitive surfing: euphoria cut with a pang of melancholic wanderlust.”

Ahhhhhhhhhh.

Though Winkie did admit the stakes in surfing are not… let’s just say as hot as Turpel’s velvety pipes as he writes it, “lacks the spleen-squeezing tension of, say, a dicey figure skating triple axel or a break point in tennis, and though that drama makes for good television, I do enjoy the chance to decompress and leave the competitive angst behind, at least for an hour or two.”

So, in summation:

Feelings good in creepy YouTube way, star Joe Turpel, competitive professional surfing never breaking through as real sport.

Soz, Dirk Ziff.

Also, an opportunity to get back on the ski and reset?

Double ahhhhhhhhhhh.

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TIm Mckenna dunks on viral surf photo from Olympics.
“Unfortunately the most famous photo of the Olympics is going to be a photo where you don't even see the Teahupoo wave. And for me, it's all about the wave, it's the show, the star is the wave, it's Teahupoo."

Iconic surf photographer dunks on viral Gabriel Medina photo, “It’s typical mainstream media that loves the worst manoeuvre in surfing”

Time magazine called Medina kick-out shot “the defining image of triumph of the 2024 Summer Games.”

You’re well aware, I’m sure, of the hysteria surrounding a photo of a Gabriel Medina flying kick-out doing the rounds.

Time magazine called the photograph by Marseilles-born Jerome Brouillet who now lives in Tahiti and was shooting for Agence France-Presse the “defining image of triumph of the 2024 Summer Games.”

Brouillet suspects he took four frames of Medina in the air and knew right away that this shot was the best, but he says it was a “team effort,” crediting the global response to the image to his editor at the AFP who recognized the now-viral frame as extraordinary and posted it immediately for the world to see.

When Gabriel Medina kicked it live on his Instagram account, the photographer uncredited for whatever reason and Medina uncredited on AFP’s post, it generated 137,691 comments.

 

View this post on Instagram

 

A post shared by Gabriel Medina (@gabrielmedina)

What was left unsaid, howevs, was the ordinariness of the moment, even if the symmetry of Medina and his board is lightly interesting.

“Ok, a lifetime’s worth of kickout shots in a single day. Now please make it stop,” wrote the former photo editor of now-defunct Surfing magazine, Jimmy Wilson.

And, in a frank interview that just appeared on the Instagram account Duke_Surf, the French-Australian photographer Tim Mckenna, whose photos of Teahupoo hang in galleries around the world, said, man, it just wasn’t…that…good.

“It’s typical mainstream media that love kick-outs, you know, the worst manoeuvre in surfing,” says McKenna.

“Unfortunately the most famous photo of the Olympics is going to be a photo where you don’t even see the Teahupoo wave. And for me, it’s all about the wave, it’s the show, the star is the wave, it’s Teahupoo. And this photo you don’t really see it, you see the arena. It’s great for the city, for the Olympics, and for Toronto, but there’s better photos out there.”

 

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A post shared by DUKEsurf.com (@duke_surf)

McKenna says, yeah, it is a nice enough photo “but it doesn’t represent to me the beautiful of Teahupoo and the beauty of the event.”

Interestingly, McKenna says AFP initially had exclusive rights to shoot wide-angle water during the event.

“The first day, they had a guy swimming under the wave, inside the wave. Like, I had never seen that in 30 years of taking photos of an event. They managed to get an exclusivity with the Olympics about that. And it didn’t last long. Obviously, the judges and people said, this is not possible. You can’t have a photographer in the field of play. It’s like having a photographer in the middle of a soccer field, or inside a boxing ring.”

McKenna points out the irony of AFP getting their most successful shot from their stringer in the channel.

“It’s funny because Jérôme Bouillé, managed to get a photo viral by being on the boat and getting a shot so they didn’t need to do that. I think it was pretty disrespectful for the surfers. You know, surfers don’t want to see a photographer in the wave, under the wave.”

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Open Thread: Comment Live on Finals Day of Olympic Surfing Shortboard!

A day that will live on... for a week or something.

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Luke Bradnam (with misspelled name in chryon I think) in. Colin Jost (insert) out.
Luke Bradnam (with misspelled name in chryon I think) in. Colin Jost (insert) out.

Funnyman Colin Jost forced home from Tahiti after “most dangerous place in the world” eats his foot

"I don’t muck around mate.”

Though surfing shortboard did not break through at these Olympic Games, it was not without its moments. House Toledo roared into dominant control, Ricardo the Father paving the way for Filipe the Son to be crowned King of Teahupo’o by eliminating disent. His inspirational rule lasted a total of sixteen hours and then the waves got real.

Australia’s Jack Robinson was forced to scrub rising sun logos off his surfing shortboards after the South Korean delegation launched an official complaint.

Australia’s judge, Ben Lowe, was sent home after Brazil’s Pedro Scooby cried him a river, taking the tattered banner of House Toledo and flying it once more.

Most importantly, though, funnyman Colin Jost was forced to vacate his roving reporter position after stubbing his toes on the “most dangerous place in the world” and possibly developing an infection. The Mirror is reporting he has flown home to wife Scarlett Johansson and will be replaced by Australian weatherman Luke Bradnam.

“I did pretty well until the first wave, and then I ended up standing on the coral reef. Much like the coral reef safety expert, but without coral shoes on. So I got a little scraped up,” Jost said after the injury and then proceeded to march around barefoot in the dirt.

Reached for comment, Bradnam did not shirk from his new role, declaring, “I don’t muck around mate.”

It is unclear, at time of writing, if there is a picture of Bradnam standing next to other Australian surfers and/or coaches on social media leaving some to wonder if his time behind the mic may be cut short do a patented Brazilian storm of complaints.

More as the story develops.

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