"It got to the point where I almost didn’t recognize my own reflection in the bathroom mirror..."

Surf guru Sam George and The Inertia is the happiest pairing since green eggs and ham. The silver hair’d kahuna having a place to share his all-important insights. The David Lynch-esque surf website positively glowing from the power of unfettered wisdom. It is a beautiful thing and, so, you can understand the mortification readers had today when they learned that George had once gone 14 days without surfing.

“As a younger man, I once went 14 days without surfing,” the master began. “Having just returned home from a trip to Puerto Rico, where I enjoyed a fine run of swell, glorious mid-winter weather and a full dose of spicy Caribbean culture, I found myself decidedly uninterested in suiting up for a session in three-foot, chilly Upper Trestles crumblers.”

George went on to recount how the days passed, his board unwaxed even though he was the editor of a surf magazine and had ocean views from his home, him not recognizing his reflection in the mirror anymore. Then, on the 14th night of not surfing, 11:30 pm to be exact, he wondered if he was even a surfer anymore. The thought troubled him so much that pulled on his wetsuit and peddled on his bike to Uppers wherein he surfed under a pale moonlight.

Readers finally able to breathe again but a plurality was left unsettled as to how a man as exceptional, talented, skilled… as perfect as Sam George could go 14 days without surfing.

14 days.

Even though he had everything.

The most enviable job in the world, an oceanfront home, a face impossibly handsome, style, hair, one earring.

Nia Peeples.

If surfing’s Grand Poobah could go 14 days without surfing what does that mean for the muck like you, like me?

Us dirty plebes?

A haunting notion.

Dare I ask how long you’ve gone without surfing?

We’ll be here for each other.

"There are no demons to vanquish, no apparent self-loathings even with a tattooed lion covering his heart."

Filipe Toledo is a gift of which we are not worthy. The best small wave surfer on the planet has thrilled surf fans for years both on and off the sea. His ability to turn 2ft waves into art truly unparalleled. His refusal to paddle when things get lightly uncomfortable now the stuff of legend.

Toledo is, of course, a two-time World Surf League champion, winning both titles at li’l Lower Trestles, but it is the haunting of Teahupo’o and Pipeline, his historic 0.00 heat totals, being schooled by geriatrics, an Olympic performance that will go down in history for its timidity even as a 13-year-old Chinese wrestler who had never been to Teahupo’o sent it, that are as much a part of his fascinating narrative.

We imagine he cares. I imagine he cares. Those times in life where I have not pitched over the ledge, as it were, bedevil me even decades later. JP Currie wrote of Toledo’s Olympic no show, once the surf turned into a deadly paradise, “With all sincerity, I hope he is ok, because I can scarcely imagine a greater swing from high to low. Yesterday, his demons had been vanquished, silenced and sent back to that dark chamber in the pit of his soul.Today, they are back upon his shoulder, wailing and cackling into the shot blood of his eyeballs. And I fear that when it’s all said and done, it won’t be two world titles and some of the most dynamic surfing ever done that is Filipe Toledo’s legacy, but simply a handful of waves he refused to paddle for.”

Except for Currie, me, maybe you are all wrong.

Toledo does not care. There are no demons to vanquish, no apparent self-loathings even with a tattooed lion covering his heart, staring at him every time he dries off after showering. Rigid social media control, a defiant father and a chorus of sycophanies have allowed the 29-year-old to occupy a space lighter, fluffier than the finest Parisian croissant.

He can, without satire, post phone camera to self and make sincere claim that future Olympic events should be conducted in a wave tank.

Imagine that gall.

Do you envy?

Complete freedom from the shackles of noble, though maybe antiquated, ideals?

Something to ponder.

Only a surfer knows the feeling.

I was out late, last night, in Paris. Enjoying a variety of spritzes on a fine restaurant patio near the Palais Garnier. The weather could not have been better, still warm with a warm breeze adding the sort of magic the City of Light is known for, and as I sat, I should have felt soothed.

Alas, unsettling business was afoot.

To my right, a large television had been set up to broadcast the Olympic Games currently frustrating the town (businesses empty, cab drivers scrounging for people to ferry etc.) and a troubling scene was playing out right in front of me. Namely, the United States men’s basketball team, featuring a who’s who of generational talents, trouncing Team Brazil in the quarterfinals.

LeBron James and co. had gone up by nearly 40 points and seemed to be enjoying their moment, playing loose and light, smiling etc. but I knew better. Knew they should be bracing for an act of nature unfamiliar and wicked. A Brazilian storm, you see, was certainly brewing south of the equator. Fans of Order and Progress ready to unleash a unified call to bulldoze the referees’ family homes, have the NBA stars erased from social media, or worse, all punctuated with multiple poop emojis.

Rough days ahead.

Unlike professional surfers, I don’t imagine basketball players at the top levels are familiar with Brazil and its passion. While ignorance is understandable, it won’t matter when the Instagram comments come two by two then two hundred by two hundred wishing all manner of ill before punitive cancellation follows.

I know the feeling and a dark and lonely night lies ahead for Team USA.

Candles, please.

"The surfing semifinals at the 2024 Olympic Games had a surprise guest!"

If there is one thing the non-surfing accidental surf watcher enjoys, it is a flyaway air. If there is another thing, it is a dolphin, otter or other such lovable creature sharing the lineup with humanoid wave sliders. And, thus, the 2024 Paris Olympics delivered spectacles for the ages for those unengaged in the daily grind of our most torturous castration.

While surf fans grumbled about the lousy swell for finals day, Aunt and Uncle Nebraska held their breaths while the most significant Chordata of all broke the Pacific’s surface as Brazil’s Tatiana Weston-Webb and Costa Rica’s Brisa Hennessy bobbed in the great nothing.

MSN reported, “A whale made a surprise appearance during an Olympics surfing event in Tahiti on Monday, 5 August. As Tatiana Weston-Webb from Brazil and Brisa Hennessy of Costa Rica competed in a semi-final match, the huge marine mammal breached in a mesmerising spectacle for both competitors and spectators.”

National Public Radio crowed, “Viewers of Olympic women’s surfing didn’t only get to watch athletes compete on Monday, they were also treated to a surprise appearance by a curious whale. Brazil’s Tatiana Weston-Webb and Costa Rica’s Brisa Hennessy were waiting for waves in the semifinals when they spotted something even more dramatic: a whale leaping headfirst out of the water in what is known as a breach.”

Yahoo! gasped, “The surfing semifinals at the 2024 Olympic Games had a surprise guest! On Aug. 5, while Brazilian athlete Tatiana Weston-Webb and Costa Rican athlete Brisa Hennessy competed in a women’s semifinal surfing match at the French Polynesian Island of Tahiti, a whale breached in the distance, providing a perfect photo opportunity.”

And on and on and on.

Though there is growing momentum to place Olympic surfing in a swimming pool, led by the very King of Teahupo’o Filipe Toledo (Reign: 7/29 – some of 7/30) himself, it will be hard to recreate the sort of mammal magic that the aforementioned Aunt and Uncle N. care most about.

Conventional thinking holds that the LA 2028 Olympic surfing component will be held in Huntington Beach and hope springs that a playful dolphin might make an appearance. If not, maybe someone waving a Pride flag being pitched from the end of the pier will suffice as dramatic backdrop.

Exciting.