You'll never guess where online sleuths discovered the whereabouts of the two biggest names in surfing!
The trending topic on surf-adjacent social media might be the tears of Brazilian surf fans who believe the fix was in for white boy John John Florence and that Italo Ferreira, the son of a poor fisherman, never stood a chance, but while that was going on another narrative was playing out on an epic WSL Finals Day.
Where was Kelly Slater, eleven times champ, greatest of all time, new daddy to the boy with no name etc, and the man who would hand over his crown, two-timer Filipe Toledo, who lives a short distance from Lower Trestles having moved from Brazil to hone his little-wave skills in front of cameras?
Kelly Slater is a noted thief of available oxygen, as we used to say, which became apparent most recently when he self-appointed himself as Erin Brooks’ caddy during the women’s final in Fiji and during his thirty two-year career which included, roughly, twenty seven retirement announcements.
And Filipe Toledo, who very nearly cast off the Teahupoo demons with an electric performance during Paris 2024, well, surely the reigning champ would have made a cameo?
Now, it can be revealed, thanks to online sleuths, that both men are safe and doing well.
Filipe Toledo is staying at the gorgeous Thunder Bomb surf camp in Nicaragua, described as a “once-in-a-lifetime, mind-blowing experience” and Kelly Slater, was found dominating small but very playful Laniakea, a righthander that breaks in front of his redundant $20 million North Shore mansion, currently for sale, rent, whatever you want.
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Iam sure to get a good nights sleep now after the warm glow of that story..thanks beachgrit …
Where is Lucy smalls?
One a legend of surfing. The other an imposter.
But has the new dad touched a diaper yet?…
The only retirement Kelly is capable of is fatherhood.
Gotta be a record
Feels pretty good waking up today knowing John and Caity won the titles. Both hardcore surfers who are pushing the boundaries in all conditions. Both seem to not only love surfing but also the lifestyle of exploration that has always been at the core but seems to have been lost a bit.
There is such an element of surprise with there surfing. When you watch someone like Marks she surfs good but her surfing is totally tailored to heats and getting a score. That’s why she just sticks to that backhand alllll dayyyy long. Boring. Italo is a spaz and I do love his surfing but John really is in another league. He can do all those moves Italo can but can Italo do a layback like that? I think not.
Surely, at this point, we’re all wondering how Kelly is going to shift the focus back where it belongs. My guess; He’s going to go MAGA, the Bobby, obesity epidemic, will nobody think about the health of our children route.
Kids were flushed down the drain long ago poor little fukers…
Can just about make out a few words behind those ads
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Fibra 300Mb for 19,90!!!!! jump on that!
Wait, are they stiffy pills?
Xox
🤣
Hold your horses, they are not the only game in town…
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These pay for Dezza’s stiffy pills!
Surely!
Xox
Set up an Adblock for your phone. I’ve never seen one of those pop ups
They should both be surfing blacks…at dusk
Im just happy no one has been hurt and any big waves totally avoided by all.
Congratulations to John John at winning the world title at trestles *