“There comes a time when it's more unhealthy for me not to surf than it is for me to surf in gross water..."

There was a time, a few years back, when quit-lit dominated these pages. The belletristic sub-genre focused, of course, on when is the right time to quit surfing, reasons for quitting surfing, the general satisfaction felt after quitting surfing etc. Classics included Steve “Longtom” Shearer ‘s “What would make you give up surfing? Be honest!” Jen See’s “If you want to surf forever, how do you do it? How do you keep it new and fresh? Is it a worthy or even possible pursuit?” JP Currie’s “This past weekend I put a bullet in another surf dream and in some ways I couldn’t be happier about it!” And of course Surf Ads, “Sometimes I look at everyone in the line-up and think to myself, I’d just love to smash your face in with a crowbar. Every one of ’em.”

Well, Los Angeles area surfers are staring down the barrel of a mass quitting as spring blooms. The devastating Palisades fire, which ripped through the tony Pacific enclave in January, not only destroyed over 6000 structures but also polluted the ocean. Is cancer worth scratching for 2 foot closeouts?

“There comes a time when it’s more unhealthy for me not to surf than it is for me to surf in gross water,” comedian Lloyd Ahlquist told KCRW on the sands of Venice, trying to put a brave face on a bad situation. According to the local public radio station, though, he is in the minority and most surfers are choosing to do other things.

Annelisa Moe from environmental group Heal the Bay agrees with Ahlquist and thinks the cautious are being big babies. “Just anecdotally, from the experts that I’ve spoken to, everybody [is] in agreement that it’s not as bad as we all expected it to be,” she declared. “What we’re seeing initially is that there is nothing in the water that’s going to immediately cause harm, but some of the things that we are seeing … are categorized as carcinogens.”

NBD.

But are you a Los Angeles area surfer?

Care to mark your name alongside Shearer, See, Currie and Ads in the quit-lit annals?

Have at it.

"No one’s watching, no one cares."

"You guys are f'ing tone deaf."

Stab Magazine and its patented “access journalism” may have finally reached that bridge too far in El Salvador. The subscription surf blog, famous for trading spine for the ability to chat with Andrew Tate acolyte Cole Houshmand, is currently being castigated by its most ardent fans after posting a fawning account of riding the country’s presidential helicopter while he busily locks up much of his, and everyone’s, populations up in just-built mega-prisons.

El Salvador, of course, in the news of late for locking much of its, and any world leaders who asks nicely, population up in just-built mega-prisons.

Blissfully unaware and/or acting in its role as the “Vichy Regime of Surf Media,” Stab celebrated the whole ordeal on Instagram, doubling down on its cosplay by penning, “What happens when the WSL gets their hands on a Reagan-era helicopter?”

The reaction, from ardent fans, swift and honest.

A sampling:

“You boys breaking into the mega prison?”

“@wsl @stab @surfline all on the (El Salvador president) Bukele propaganda”

“The image of white Americans flying over a Global South country currently illegally detaining people, using the country’s military helicopter as if nothing is happening is both dystopian and deeply disturbing.”

“Meanwhile, 150+ people were taken from the U.S. and are now housed in an El Salvadorian super max prison many of whom had no due process. You guys are f’ing tone deaf.”

Well, that was enough for Stab to jump in and start scrubbing the narrative by deleting critical comments though difficult to delete critical x critical comments and another sampling:

“Why are you deleting comments criticizing the fascist murdering dictator whose reputation you’re laundering with this post?”

“You know why.”

And that’s where it appears the entire thread was shut down.

To be real honest, it’s all very awkward. Stab’s publisher and erasure of history Sam McIntosh should, at this point, know better than to send thirsty li’l illiterate sycophants anywhere and/or should read a book other than The Bad Girls’ Guide to Better.

Is this the time to be better than better?

More as the story develops.