We're the problem, it's us.
It has been a long, difficult few days for surf fans of the Oahu North Shore-based lifeguard drama Rescue: HI-Surf after Fox announced it would not be renewed following its freshman season. The stages of grief, each, thoroughly mined. Initial denial quickly gave way to anger which morphed into a deep depression. Finally, though, acceptance as the network revealed that we, you and I, are in fact, to blame.
Michael Thorn, President of Fox Television Network and Fox Entertainment sat down with reporters, recently, to explain, “We went all in on two shows last season — HI-Surf and [the freshman hit] Doc and we’re so proud of the success of Doc. Unfortunately, HI-Surf just didn’t catch on like we had hoped. It just didn’t resonate with our audience the way we needed to be able to return it.”
Yes, while one our, your and my, fingers was initially pointed at Fox, three were pointing right back. We surfers are the reason a show for us, about our heroes in our mecca, was not renewed because we didn’t watch it. Oh how we beg like spoiled children, “Give us authentic surf entertainment, give us authentic surf entertainment, give us authentic surf entertainment!” The powers that be then bend an ear and give us authentic surf entertainment but what do we do?
Ignore it and whinge about something else like Julian Wilson losing to Filipe Toledo at the Gold Coast Pro when he clearly should have won.
To be quite frank, we don’t deserve authentic surf entertainment.
A hard cold truth.
But speaking of Demi Moore, she just revealed that during her iconic return to film in 2003’s Charlie’s Angeles: Full Throttle, she did not want to be shot from behind. “All I remember is begging them not to shoot my butt,” she reminisced with Drew Barrymoore about her now-famous surfing scene. “I don’t know why that was my obsession.”
Essential.
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If you really want ‘authentic’ surf entertainment—just go surfing.
who wants to see someone get rescued ?
Find your requested phone transcript below.
(All timestamps are in Coordinated Universal Time (UTC))
[05/11/2025 12:43:51]
J. See:Uggh …. Hullo?
[05/11/2025 12:43:54]
D. Rielly:Jen, its Rielly. Wake up! Are you asleep?
[05/11/2025 12:44:01]
J. See:No no I was just resting my eyes for a sec (yawn, snort, burp) wow that sun sure is bright …
[05/11/2025 12:44:04]
D. Rielly: Well get up, everybody’s frothin’ about the Burleigh contest. Where’s your woman’s wrap?
[05/11/2025 12:44:08]
J. See: Uh, hmm, don’t you still owe for my last article?
[05/11/2025 12:44:11]
D. Rielly: I sent it! You’d better check your mailbox. Anyway time’s a ticking. Gotta strike while its still hot.
[05/11/2025 12:44:15]
J. See: What about JP? Where’s his wrap?
[05/11/2025 12:44:18]
D. Rielly: Somebody told me he drank too much single malt and fell into a peat bog.
[05/11/2025 12:44:20]
J. See:Lucky him.
[05/11/2025 12:44:24]
D. Rielly:Come on Jen can you it send today?
[05/11/2025 12:44:27]
J. See:I was planning on doing my nails.
[05/11/2025 12:44:29]
D. Rielly:Really?
[05/11/2025 12:44:33]
J. See: That or color my hair purple and trim my nose hairs. I really should wax my mustache too.
[05/11/2025 12:44:36]
D. Rielly:Help me out here Jen. You know I’m good for it. I’ll double the rate.
[05/11/2025 12:45:38]
J. See:Nothing times nothing still leaves nothing. Besides it looks like a good day for a bike ride.
[05/11/2025 12:45:41]
D. Rielly: I beg of you Jen … please.
[05/11/2025 12:45:43]
J. See: (Dial tone … click)
Considering neither of them probably saw bugger all of the comp live, it’s a bit of the old ‘too little, too late’.
Dezz n Chas already talked enough crap about it already, plus the comments crew are better in their swift appraisal of the whole show, so who needed ’em anyway.
And Margies’ll be startin’ before ya know it, so a prelim of that’d be better, from an actual decent writer who knows what he’s talkin’ ’bout, like that KVF bloke…
Please don’t take Surf off !! I liked it myself ,give it a chance. That’s why I hate to start watching something new
Too funny. No sacred cows. From preempting the demise of the WSL to preempting the demise of BG.
best thing about the Angels clip is the guy with RUSSELL surfboard.
Where’s Means?
…but back to the subject of “authentic surf entertainment”.
We are not serious people. Give us stupid, snarky comedy and we will be entertained, as in the daily below the line on Beach Girt.
Chas and DR should get together and write a show, complete with DR’s sexual fantasies and Chas’ vodka. Emmy awards await.
Also in the Oahu drama category: The California driver who was sentenced to 5 years for assaulting multiple women in road rage incidents was released after only 10 months.
He promptly moved to Hawaii, where he immediately resumed slapping and sucker punching women. Now he’s back in the can.
Hopefully the Uncle Eddie’s of Oahu put out the fatwa on this lunatic. He had his chance and made his choice. Let some incarcerated braddas protect the women in their families by helping this guy see the error in his ways.
Looks like someone already beat his ass pretty good with that fucked up nose he’s sporting.
That dog needs to be put down.
Found a little more news, they are already working on it. Scroll down just a little for the happy photos!
https://www.google.com/amp/s/www.hawaiinewsnow.com/2025/05/14/serial-road-rage-driver-allegedly-assaulted-while-custody/%3foutputType=amp
Looks like they beat him pretty good and it will probably continue. Halawa is a bad place for a non-local haole that beat up a local woman and her daughter.
https://www.instagram.com/reel/DJmbW1eJCaj/
Only when the kids of tomorrow get invested in the wave pool revolution will surfing come to the fore as a thing.
nah.
too expensive mate.
Well, it was no Bondi Rescue was it?!
If Demi was 15 yrs older than (her boyfriend at the time) Ashton, it seems a double standard that so many are harassing Griffy for being 8 yrs older than his San Clemente High lacrosse-playing beau, shown together in this recent paparazzi shot.
https://uploads.disquscdn.c…
Especially as with her comparatively advanced education she’s already helping him develop skills that were neglected under his home schooling regimen…
https://uploads.disquscdn.c…
Heck, California doesn’t actually have a minimum marrying age (with parental consent), nor does Mississippi, New Mexico or Oklahoma.
Whereas in Hawaii and Kansas you can marry at 15 if your parents agree to it.
The age is 16 in 21 other states, and 17 in a further 9.
So you can actually marry younger than 18 in 36 States, that’s 72% of the good ole U.S. of A.
Seems Griffy’s not out of the ordinary after all, in a nation full of potential ‘Epstein Islanders’…
🤣🤣🤣
Does that mean Griff is a girl or Griff is gay? Last time I checked, “beau” means boyfriend.
Who knows what them is ?
Last time I checked, gender discrimination is illegal, especially in California…
in which state will you choose to marry your child bride?
Most likely a state of inebriation…
I’m no Com Turren Esq. J.D., but lewd acts with a minor gets you like 8 years per count in California… https://uploads.disquscdn.c…
Weell jumpin-gee-hossey-fat pardner, that’s wye yas gotta marrie em furst* in Californy
*with parental consent
Josh Giddey approves of this post
I’m shocked our resident lawyer hasn’t opined again on this matter. Also , it appears California doesn’t have Romeo and Juliet laws. so we are left to wonder whether Griffy hangs with Josh Giddey?
Find out next on LA Law: Swami’s Edition
Can we get pizza from Encinitas?
Leucadia Pizza
Thats the place my now adult kids still talk about!
I wouldn’t like to be shot from behind either.
How do you know ?! Live a little.
Xox
“It just didn’t resonate with our audience.” Who, um, is their “audience.” The theoretical audience.
Amazing pondering. A surfer’s even real, are we birds?!
Xox
You need to go back to Yemen. You’re probably conflicted, but so is that place. Read somewhere sometime that there’s even surf.
we want stories… long form-ish
qatar be more auspicious…
Still no news on the vanished JP? Is he stuck on a mountain? Foil boarding across the Atlantic?
I heard he was putting drugs in his bumhole!
Xox
DOGE cuts—same reason why we haven’t heard anything from Jen either
Hopefully surfing
on hiatus with DSS&S
Ok.