Dylan Graves at the Eisbach standing wave in Munich.
Dylan Graves gives hell to the Eisbach a few years back.

Boyfriend Sues Over Surfer’s Death at Munich’s Eisbach Wave – River Closed, Surfers Face $50K Fines

Lawsuit alleges negligent bodily harm in surfer’s death, citing unsafe riverbed conditions.

Two and a bit months back, a surfer was trapped underwater after her leash became tangled on an unknown object at Munich’s famous Eisbach river wave during a midnight sesh.

Witnesses described “dramatic scenes” where the woman cried for help before being repeatedly pulled underwater by the current. Her pals tried to get the leash off, the joint pushes 25k litres a second, but the force of the water made it impossible.

Standing wave form cause of a hydraulic jump, where fast-flowing water from a narrow, shallow channel slows abruptly as it encounters a deeper, wider section or an obstruction. At the Eisbach, this is caused by a concrete step and submerged blocks under a bridge near the Haus der Kunst museum. The rapid transition from what it is called supercritical (fast, shallow) to subcritical (slower, deeper) flow creates the standing wave.

Hell of a current in other words.

The surfers’ attempts were described as “desperate but futile” as the woman remained submerged for nearly 30 minutes.

The Munich Fire Department was called and a swift-water rescue team, the Strömungsretter (current rescuers), used a dive knife to cut the leash and got the women, unconscious and in a critical condition, impossible condition, out of the drink. CPR got the heart back but, yeah, but not many people are coming back from thirty minutes underwater.

One week in intensive care later and she was dead.

Following the accident, Munich authorities closed the wave indefinitely to investigate the cause and assess safety risks. The joint has been cordoned off and marked with “No Entry” signs. The city issued a general decree banning surfing “until further notice,” citing potential dangers. Violators face fines of up to €50,000, as enforced by the Department for Climate and Environmental Protection.

Yeah, fifty k. Them Krauts don’t mess around.

As you’d guess, the surfers who frequent the wave are pretty bummed and fear the iconic wave, a global attraction since surfing was legalised there in 2010, might face permanent restrictions.

The investigation, led by the Munich I Public Prosecutor’s Office, involved lowering the Eisbach’s water level on April 30, 2025, to inspect the riverbed.

Fifty cops, including divers, examined the area, focusing on “disturbance stones” that shape the wave’s flow. No large objects like scooters or shopping carts were found, but several small metallic items were collected for analysis to determine if they contributed to the leash entanglement. The investigation considered whether a discarded object caused the accident, which could lead to charges like negligent bodily harm or manslaughter, though it’s also possible the incident was a pure accident.

As of the latest updates, the Eisbach remains closed, with no reopening date announced, pending the investigation’s outcome.

Dylan Graves gave it the Weird Waves treatment a while back if you wanna know more about it.

In the meantime, landlocked Munich now has its dreamy Endless Surf wavepool so, cost aside, locals can still do their lil chop hops etc.

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Vans (pictured) during better times. Photo: Fast Times etc.
Vans (pictured) during better times. Photo: Fast Times etc.

Iconic surf shoe Vans records staggering $400 million yearly loss

Off the Wall Street.

Surfers, everywhere, became extremely nervous, as the sun rose on financial markets, after learning Vans had lost an eye-watering $400 million just this year. The iconic waffle-soled shoe, crafted by Paul Van Doren and his brothers in 1966 and sold from a neat little store front in Anaheim, instantly became a favorite with the region’s many skateboards and surfboarders, as they were extremely cheap.

The slip-on checkerboard shot to international fame after appearing in the coming-of-age comedy Fast Times at Ridgemont High in the 1980s and it seemed as nothing would, or could, ever slow company growth.

Vans, shiny and hip, opened skateparks, launched candy punk tours and sponsored the US Open of Surfing through the 1990s into the 2000s, partnering with VF Corp in 2004, and the sky remained the limit. Profit impossible to miss.

Well, surfers, everywhere, should know by know that nothing lasts forever. Vans, like the rest of the surf industry, went into a tailspin 6ish years ago and has yet to recover, each year looking bleaker and bleaker no matter what new products are injected into the market.

Surf booties even failing to provide lift.

And now it has been revealed by Superline Network that the brand lost the aforementioned $400 million figure, revenue falling by 22% this last quarter and 16% to date.

VF Corp’s revenue, in turn, dragging down by 5% even though its other major labels North Face and Timberland saw growth over the same period.

Surfers, everywhere, wondering if the shop will be closed entirely.

Superline Network, continuing to report, shared that VF Corp is not worried and “insists the downturn is part of a broader strategy to revamp and strengthen the brand.”

Hmmmm.

How much money do you think BeachGrit should lose to strengthen its brand?

Also, if Vans shutters, what shoe will you replace with?

More as the story develops.

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Great White shark Byron Bay.
The city of Byron Bay, tucked just under the border of Queensland in northern NSW, is known for a lot of things. It has the remnants of that seventies hippie vibe and, lately, has become ground zero for surfers chasing the sexy surf lifestyle of leash-less boards, button-ups in the surf, long hair and fantastic tans. But, now, Byron is… sharks. Big sharks. Killer sharks.

Australia’s Shark Crisis and the Anti-Human Underpinnings of Radical Green Policies

Balancing Nature and Human Lives: The Cost of Prioritizing Sharks Over Safety

Last year, I was asked to write a review of shark mitigation measures for a book to be published by Springer Nature. I have only ever had one piece of research published in a peer reviewed journal so it was a great honour to be given this opportunity. I embraced it as enthusiastically as the Blues Brothers embraced their own “Mission from God”.

Unfortunately, the publisher has rejected the piece. I am not disappointed, however, since I was anticipating rejection on account of my refusal to toe the environmental line.

I knew from the outset that I was out of my depth. So, I contacted the NSW department of primary industries (DPI) for guidance. The scientists at DPI are responsible for the state’s shark mitigation program. I had already criticised the program in a number of articles published here and elsewhere, so they didn’t jump at the opportunity to be dragged through the mud.

I did eventually get help from an independent shark scientist. I had initially wanted to get a co-author from each shark attack hotspot. So, I asked a shark scientist who had written a PhD on the shark crisis in Brazil, if he knew any surfers who might be interested. He didn’t know anyone suitable, but offered to be a co-author himself. He mainly just gave feedback. But, he did actually write a conclusion, which was so antithetical to how I felt, that I was finally able to formulate my own conclusion.

The editor liked the idea of me co-authoring the piece with locals from each hotspot especially since the person I had chosen to represent Reunion Island was utterly opposed to the position held by the shark scientist from Brazil.

So, my job was to present both perspectives in a pragmatic back-and-forth discussion.

However, I knew that I was expected to toe the environmental line. Trying not to offend the academic establishment was a delicate balancing act. But, this infuriated the guy on Reunion, who couldn’t stomach what I had written and accused me of being paid off by Sea Shepherd. I eventually dumped the idea of sharing authorship, but the attempt had been fruitful, nonetheless.

Politics never interested me until a spate of shark attacks occurred at my local Ballina beach next to the rivermouth in 2015 and 2016.

Two of these attacks took place while I was surfing, one right in front of me. Over a period of two years, twelve shark attacks occurred along a 70 kilometre stretch of coast, eight within ten kilometres of Ballina, four within a kilometre of the river mouth. Two of the attacks were fatal.

Needless to say, the surfing community was traumatised, but so too was the community at large. The ominous sounds of ambulances and helicopters haunted the coastal strip, as journalists and film crews kept the story in the headlines.

Just like the pandemic, we spent two years talking about nothing else.

It mystified me that so many people seemed not to care about the suffering caused by shark attacks. I have spent most of the last ten years trying to understand the culture war.

The best explanation I have found is Iain McGilchrist’s book about the two hemispheres of the brain, titled “The Master and his Emissary”. He describes how differently the two hemispheres of the brain operate, and how different periods in history have been driven by one or the other side. According to McGilchrist, the West is currently going through a phase, which is dominated by a worldview dictated by the left hemisphere of the brain.

Another insight comes from a piece of research, which shows that conservatives and progressives have radically different values. The study’s survey data is represented in the form of a “heat map”, using warm colours to depict the priority given to one’s family, placed at the centre of a series of concentric rings, compared to the nonhuman environment, placed at the periphery.

Mapped onto McGilchrist’s theory, this heat map must oscillate back and forth through the course of human history, like the alternating phases of El Nino and La Nina concern actual heat buildup at opposite sides of the Pacific.

I guess it will take some time for the culture to swing back the other way.

If anyone feels like getting involved, I would suggest contacting their local council. The NSW state government says that they liaise with coastal councils about their preferred suite of shark mitigation measures. There is actually an association of coastal councils holding a conference at Mooloolaba, on the Sunshine Coast, on 31 July and 1 August 2025. It would be great if we could get someone representing our concerns at the conference. I have tried discussing it with Ballina Council. Hopefully, someone reading this will forward my effort to a like-minded councillor.

Read the paper here.

I have also made a 17 minute video, which combines a slideshow of portraits of shark attack fatalities with an AI generated review of the chapter, presented in the style of a radio talk show.

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Photo: @greenroomtimes Instagram
Photo: @greenroomtimes Instagram

World Surf League baffles surf fans by adding second Newcastle event to Challenger Series

Is this definitive proof we are living in a simulation?

Surf fans already semi-convinced we are living in a simulation received further confirmation, yesterday, when the World Surf League made the exciting announcement that two events would be added to the second-tier Challenger Series calendar. First, the iconic Banzai Pipeline, a wave so fierce that it sent little wave surf champion Filipe Toledo into a year of hiding.

WSL Senior Tour Manager Tarvis Logie, breaking the news, declared, “Pipeline is the ultimate proving ground and one of the most perfect yet challenging waves on the planet. For the next crop of CT surfers to have the opportunity to compete is a huge step forward for the Challenger Series, not to mention incredibly exciting for our fans to enjoy two major events at Pipe in just a couple of months.”

Second, a stop in Australia at Newcastle.

Logie, continuing, added, “To finish the season and decide our CT qualifiers at the iconic Newcastle Surfest is amazing. It’s an event with so much surf history, and the whole town gets behind it, so to see our CS surfers realize their dreams in front of thousands of fans at Mereweather will be a huge moment.”

Surf fans, dropped jaws, messaging each other if this glitch is real. For the Challenger Series is currently in Newcastle for the Surfest.

So two Newcastles?

Newcastle, New South Wales, Australia (June 2 – 8)
Ballito, KwaZulu-Natal, South Africa (June 30 – July 6)
Huntington Beach, California, USA (July 29 – August 3)
Ericeira, Portugal (September 29 – October 5)
Saquarema, Rio de Janeiro, Brazil (October 11 – 19)
Pipeline, Hawai’i, USA (January 28 – February 8)
Newcastle, New South Wales, Australia (March 8 – 15)

I guess so.

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Bali bomb maker Umar Patek pivots into the coffee game.
Bali bomb maker Umar Patek pivots into the coffee game.

Convicted Bali Bomber, Linked to 200 Deaths, Starts Coffee Business

“I concocted bombs, and now I concoct coffee” 

Cast your minds, if you’re old enough, to the year 20o2 when Indonesia’s deadliest terror attack, ripped through hundred of tourists, killing over 200, at two nightclubs in Kuta, Bali.

My gal lost a close friend at the Sari Club, with another traumatised beyond any sort of measure after seeing laughing drinkers vaporised by the shrapnel. On a beachfront wall at Bondi, a mural mourns the death of a fifteen-year-old local girl, killed by the religious zealots.

The fine gent who built the bombs was a Javanese man Umar Patek, born Hisyam bin Alizein in 1966.

A leading member of Jemaah Islamiyah (JI), an al-Qaeda-linked Southeast Asian terror network, Patek built the car bomb detonated outside the Sari Club and a smaller device used in Paddy’s Bar.

His role earned him the nickname “Demolition Man” during his 2012 trial. After the attacks, Patek evaded the cops for nine years, moving through Indonesia, the Philippines, and Pakistan, where he was arrested in Abbottabad in 2011, months before Osama bin Laden’s death in the same city.

A $1 million U.S. bounty underscored his status as one of Asia’s most-wanted terrorists.

Extradited to Indonesia, Patek was convicted of premeditated murder and other charges and got a 20-year sentence. He claimed remorse, stating he opposed the bombings and was unaware of their full scope, which spared him the death penalty.

Indonesian authorities granted him multiple sentence reductions for good behaviour leading to his controversial parole in December 2022 after serving just over half his term.

Australian Prime Minister Anthony Albanese call the decision to release Patek “abhorrent,” and survivors like Andrew Csabi expressed skepticism about Patek’s claimed deradicalisation.

Now, Patek has turned his game of lighting people up into coffee with hte launch of his brand, Coffee RAMU 1966 by Umar Patek.

In an Instagram post, the daddy company pushing the brand writes:

 

View this post on Instagram

 

A post shared by Luxiediandra (@luxiediandra)

“Always be successful Mr. Umar Patek He was known for the wounds he left, now he is remembered for the aroma of coffee he brewed. Her life’s journey is not about a dark past, but about the courage to change and choose a path that brings peace. One man, one cup of coffee, and a million new hopes.”

To the Asian press Patek said, simply:

“Once, I concocted bombs, and now I concoct coffee.”

An interesting part of this dramatic pivot is the use of Patek’s name as the selling point of the coffee.

It suggests to me that he’s seen as a hero in Indonesia for his work in evaporating ten score Western tourists.

Or, do you think, Indonesians are better at forgiveness and see his story arc as one of redemption etc?

 

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