Moral panic.
You may, or may not, know, but the World Surf League’s professional championship tour is currently in Brazil for the Rio Pro. Now, the Brazilian stop is not known for quality waves, a friendly time zone or generating interest outside Brazil and yet the WSL would never dare consider to scrub because Brazilian fans are that uniquely frothy. They pack the beach in droves, playing gold and green drums, puffing on gold and green horns, hooting, hollering, waving gold and green flags and making professional surfing appear, for the briefest of moments, as if it’s a real sport.
Or rather did pack the beach in droves.
Tuning in yesterday, the surf fan at home couldn’t help but be… underwhelmed. The Rio Pro kick-off seemed to be… lightly attended with a less-than-enthusiastic crowd. Most appeared to be staring into phones instead of the garbage waves on offer.
And now it has been revealed why.
Hyper-realistic baby dolls, known as “reborn dolls” have sparked moral panic in the country according to local media, sucking all the oxygen out of the room, leaving no time for interest in professional surfing. The life-like figurines have dominated the national conversation with the pro-reborn and anti-reborn communities clashing. Around 30 bills have been introduced for legislation, including “proposals to ban the dolls from receiving public healthcare or to prohibit collectors from using them to claim priority in queues for public services.”
The Guardian adds:
Videos of collectors bathing their dolls, tucking them into bed or pushing them in prams spread widely across social media – often accompanied by critical commentary or ridicule, such as a satirical rap song encouraging people to kick the dolls in the street.
The controversy reached a disturbing peak on 6 June, when a man slapped a four-month-old baby on the head, claiming he had mistaken the infant for one of the dolls. He is out on bail, and the baby is reportedly doing well.
And, again, it is all anyone in the land of order and progress is talking about. Not Griffin Colapinto, not Crosby Colapinto, not even Italo Ferreira and li’l Martin.
The reborn doll brouhaha shows no sign of dying down soon, certainly not during the Rio Pro waiting period, leaving the World Surf League sad and hurt.
Light a candle, please.
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Griffs new chick is looking a little pale
why is griff’s photo on the headline?
Colapinto and Child would be a great title for a painting. So many ways to interpret
Doha is just a hollywood movie set. You’d think they would actually pay for quality materials but it’s all superficial and frankly crap. But of course the Qataris would never set foot outside and look at it up close.
Very quickly I realized that Arabs (and especially Gulf Arabs) have a massive inferiority complex. That’s why they do shit like build the tallest building in the world in the desert, buy premier league soccer clubs and of course the world cup. It’s so pathetic.
They especially have hangups about race. They see the world as a totem pole and wish they were at the top (especially because Mohammed was an Arab) but deep down they know they are not white enough to be at the top but definitely see themselves as higher than Indians and of course Africans. That’s why they lost their shit when that “Cleopatra was black” thing came out a few years ago. Not because of the historical inaccuracies (Cleopatra being greek and all) but because of the insinuation that they are also “black”. Besically their dream is to have a traditional Arab wedding but keep a blonde Swedish mistress. They are just so fucked in the head.
After I spent a few years working in Qatar I came to the conclusion that if you gave everyone in the world a billion dollars you don’t end up with utopia. You end up with a bunch of superficial fuckheads living an aimless and frankly crass existence. When the oil runs out they’ll go back to riding camels.
Are We talking sex dolls?
I’ll take a Caroline marks model.if there is an ordering list going on !
Shop at WSL
Griffin Colapinto hyper-realism Voodoo Doll set.
Pins, Needles and Matches included
Does it poo?
https://uploads.disquscdn.c…
Open beachgrit… show to curious co workers.. Brace for insults and retribution …such is life
Why would you ever show BG to coworkers?? They gonna think you a total weirdo for frequenting a demented site like this.
Haha they know and that’s probably why
so true. I use to crack up at gaijin trying to speak nihongo like they are actually Japanese, with the inflection, sucking air and uncomfortable mannerisms. Honto ni.
Skate or Die
Caro Marks’ll be good at Suckyareamer
But will Betty-Lou Sukya Johnson ?
Italo’s baby news on social media is nauseating. The photo shoots, the gender reveals, the sonography t-shirt. There is 8 billion of us….it’s not that impressive.
I’m hopeful he rides that gender reveal board, then jumps on it after losing.
Even the WSL knows the waves suck there
https://uploads.disquscdn.c…
The Rio Waiting Period Pro.
has kind of an Outer Known ring to it.
Waiting Period ~ the time that Griffin sits in his Tesla outside San Clemente High School
Rumor has it that Trump is building a golf course in Iran.
He’s already made three holes.
haha…rumor has it , that the holes were not deep enough, US base gets attacked in Qatar, and TACO immediately calls ceasefire
Get yourselves over to the QS in Nias. Away from the the hyperbole of the CT. Genuine goodvibes with natural never ending unfolding waves that are wave pool like. Max stoke from hardcore young frothers. It’s a pleasure to behold I must say.
We want a comment live!
Xox
There are really good and cool Brazilian surfers. However, there’s also a high ratio of flamboyant posers who don’t show up when the waves of consequence arrive, but are happy to send nasty social media comments to the WSL and its judges, no matter how poorly their countrymen performed.
Interesting and weird.
Not A doll moment I tell ya…
Light a candle for Jihad Khord https://uploads.disquscdn.c…
Such an unfortunate name to have while travelling in the 2000’s.
Not sure how a Bin Laden spray on his board helped with customs picking him out of the crowd, go wonder.
durkdurkallah
in unrelated news, my lifelong inability to properly pronounce ‘Qatar’ is once again being unmasked
cuttar
More like Kuh-tr but not really.
You can’t say it. Its not cutter, it’s not cuttar. It’s made with Arabic sounds that English speakers don’t have. Kinda like rolling r’s when speaking Spanglish.
Mitchell Saladbar can say it, I bet.
Don’t feel bad Rocks. I heard that one of the tests for Pakistani laborers to get their passport back after completion of World Cup Stadiums was to properly pronounce it. Most are still there.
I used to work there. The yanks call it “cutter”, which is definitely not the right way to say it.
It’s more like “guitar” but you do have to say it like you’ve just cleared your throat and about to spit out a throat oyster.
Cunt-ar
I only have hyper-realistic candles. Do those count?