“There are more golfers than surfers and the beach is just down the street..."
The day many have worried about for years has finally arrived. Golfers and surfers bursting into a hot war against one another. The spark, a proposal in tony Newport Beach, California to turn the Newport Beach Golf Course into a wave tank and wave tank-adjacent housing.
Hundreds of pro-golf warriors rallied together on July 3rd to gather signatures and form up a plan on how to annihilate the surf competition. Benny Hallock, chairman and general of Save Newport Beach Golf Course provocatively spat, “There are more golfers than surfers and the beach is just down the street. This isn’t about a golf course, it’s about protecting the only affordable golf course in Newport Beach. It’s where veterans, retirees, children and everyday people come together. Newport Beach Golf Course is more than open space — it’s our gathering place, our sanctuary, our beacon. We won’t stand by while it’s threatened.”
Free deep dish pizza was served at the gathering in order to strengthen the troops for the arduous fight ahead.
According to the Newport Beach city website, the golf course is not slated to be entirely turned into waves. The front six holes, and back nine, will be “maintained.” Though even the most ignorant sports fan knows that golf is generally played over eighteen holes, not fifteen.
Local Wade Womack, eating pizza, readying for battle, declared, “My teens golf here all the time. It’s the most affordable [course] in Newport Beach. I’m really concerned that the county will expand JWA (John Wayne Airport) onto the back nine parcel since they own it. Why would we break this up to expand JWA?”
Private Camilla Lovric, also local, added, “I live near the golf course and my kids, who are 5 and 10, come here to the range to hit balls. We don’t want the golf course to close, because we can walk here.”
Back Bay Barrels LLC, the surf pool developer, has yet to respond to the provocation but worry is growing that the counter attack will be asymmetrical.
If only there was a someone to bring them together, a savior who loves to both surf and golf.
More as the story develops.
A fake wave in Newport Beach is probably the dumbest shit I’ve ever heard and at the same time fits so perfectly
15 minutes to the beach and back to the course infinitum.
golfed there yesterday… They must think there are enough parents that will pay $10k for their kids to have birthday partys there?
Julian Wilson losing hair stressing about how this feud is going to effect rivvia sales
Why don’t they just build the wave tank in the ocean? Problem solved.
“surfing – pure self masturbatory delusion”..YEP!
Self masturbatory delusion? Delusionally masturbating others is the true path.
Is the aysim counter attack shaped by Burch, Lovelace or Album?
Surfing nowhere near as expensive.
Play muni’s on special for 23 bucks, Good set of Costco clubs half the price of a surfboard. Golf doesn’t have to be expensive, depends how you do it. You can buy Tavarua or a boat trip surfing, easy enough to make surfing cost as much as the expensive road in golf.
Both are a good way to avoid family responsibility also
Combine them, Surf-n-Turf.
many fun rounds at the Newport public course, and many fun surfs in Newport beach.
Stay the Course.
There is no better combo of unnecessary activities to be into than surfing, golfing, and fishing/hunting together. Think about it.
We’ve reached the point in U.S. surf culture, let alone capitalism, where an exclusive, for-those-who-can-afford-it wave pool is a threat to wipe out an affordable golf course for the common folk in a coastal community. Holy hell.
https://youtu.be/4pG-8XLLaE0?si=opvNyG19BfdiuNYq
that wave pool is likely the only thing that’ll keep the county from allowing that entire course to become a John Wayne Airport expansion
The golfers should just go down to Fifty-“fore” st and play when the pool opens.
The only real cultural difference between golf and surfing in 2025 is that middle class strivers are not getting their kids into surfing for the career prospects. They will soon though.
Surfing is now gentrifying golf courses out of business. Perfect encapsulation of our recent cultural trajectory.
Should’ve scrolled down the comments here before adding my own. You said first… or at least for as far I scrolled down after adding my copy-cat rant.
Holy hell.
Comment of the year.
J Bay forecast looking all time at the start. WSL will find a way to blow it, and probably claim it’s too big to run.
Heard Tiger Woods got the wildcard.