"Positioned near one of the world's most iconic surf breaks — revered by champions like Kelly Slater."
If you’re tired of human contact and the warm sun on your face and don’t mind the possibility of drinking yourself to death, a hot new listing for a hunk of beachfront land on King Island might be right up your alley.
The spiel is compelling. Get the dirt, milk the hell out of it, never have to work again.
Development Potential
This property isn’t just about today’s escape — it’s about tomorrow’s vision. Whether you imagine building a substantial coastal residence (approved house plans have previously been held), expanding with additional eco-friendly cabins (STCA) or creating a pioneering eco-tourism venture, the sheer scale of this land allows you to dream big.
A Surfer’s Paradise
Positioned near one of the world’s most iconic surf breaks — revered by champions like Kelly Slater — this is your front-row pass to waves that define King Island. With Martha Lavinia’s legendary swell on your doorstep and year-round breaks at Phoques Point just 15 minutes away, the ocean becomes part of daily life.
King Island Lifestyle
Beyond its pristine beaches, King Island offers award-winning golf courses, a celebrated arts and food culture and produce famous across the globe. Think fresh crayfish, world-class cheese and a welcoming local community that makes every visit feel like coming home.
If you didn’t know, King Island King is a remote as hell joint in the Bass Strait, 90 miles or so from mainland Tasmania and equidistant from Victoria. Sixteen hundred souls call it their home.
At the turn of the century I ran PR for Red Bull for an ill-fated big-wave event that promised so much, the greatest collection of big-wave surfers ever including RCJ, Peter Mel, Noah Johnson and so on, but delivered only the sort of carousing you might find in Salo or in the tale of Sodom.
Of course, subsequent trips to King Island by various surf medias revealed a stunning A-frame beach break called Marthas. Kelly Slater thrilled to it in 2001 and, recently-ish, John John Florence.
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During covid there was a guy selling three blocks of land down in King Island for 86,000 AUD a pop. It’s a tiny island that faces bang on into atrocious weather. No way is anyone gonna throw that kind of money around.
You’d be better off going down to Bruny Island off Tassie, or better yet, up to Cocos Island or Christmas Island (unless you are a refugee).
Or drop a hundred gees on a lil villa at Ulus and join in the glorious madness.
Lord Howe Island, if any property is for sale over there – much better weather, good surf and permanent restrictions on over-development.
Can’t get crowded with Yanks, Yids or Brazzos
Yes
Got a mate who always talks about getting away from the “rat race” – lives 3hr south of Syd – and moving the fam to KI. Hasn’t done it. All talk.
Better that way, I think.
Wife heard there was cheap coastal real estate there so we hoiked it in the small bird from Melbourne and hired a fourby.
I drove north to south and east to west across that entire fucking island for days and didn’t pull the board out of the cover.
It was freezing too…..and mid-summer.
West facing side was huge and onshore, other side was offshore and dead flat.
Wife ended up surfing some pretty little babyfood peak solo with a decapitated seal on the beach while I did whitey watch from the bluff.
150K got you 3 beds overlooking the coast and the old tungsten mine at Grassy with boarded up shops down the road and a few alcos for neighbours.
I yeah nah’ed straight back to the sub-tropics and 15 dollar schooners.
Yeah, exactly my experience. The joint is huge. Not a lot of potential apart from Marthas, which is rare. Nearly had my head decapitated by a tow rope during my visit. Closest ol Dez ever come to meet Jesus in person. The pies are off the chart, howevs.
Great pies, true.
RSL pretty depressing too.
We toured the school, once the word got out a young family was interested in moving to the Island we were treated like rock stars.
The cheese tasting room at King Island Dairy was the highlight of the trip.
fmd, had no idea cheese could be that good.
I had plans to collect kelp- man can make an honest living still doing that.
Collect it and take it to the factory for drying and processing, paid according to dried weight. Most of it bought by FMC Biopolymer who are one of the worlds largest producers of Alginates.
I think if I was to land on that isle, couple of pretty gals there too, I’d do three years and sew up a PHD and get real into yoga and jiujitsu instructionals. Surf when Marthas breaks.
so, 5 times a year?
the other side of the coins quiet.
“West facing side was huge and onshore, other side was offshore and dead flat.”
Sounds like being a surfer in Auckland.
Pretty much.
That’s the reason I ended up in ‘Straya. Way more consistent with the added thrill of potentially getting bitten in half.
I’m from Oz but over here for work. Hopefully not for too much longer. It’s a very scenic place with some decent surf but there’s a lot of New Zealanders here 😂😂
Up there.
give yourself an uppercut, dez!
Jeez.
What the hell for?
Not too sure about the state of your soul at times Dez.
And I’ve heard from a reliable source that you’re actually a good cunt.
Soul blacker than the ace of spades, as they used to say.
Too much time in Sydney?
Too much time chasing kinks.
fuck that’s cheap.
Giving it away, practically.
I had to swear to secrecy about this joint, guess that’s over.
Sounds like cold, sharky, fickle, and remote might be its only saving grace?
That bit of theatre was over by 2001.
I’m gonna keep it going like I’m a blacksmith heading to the local renaissance fair
“Also offers award winning golf courses”
Pfffffffffttttt
That jsc cunt and yourself should do a book about it. Blow it right up
That book has nothing on Real Estate Grit! How very dare you compare!
Number 1 on Amazon New Releases in Surfing – thanks for your preorders!
Surfers are the best!
https://www.amazon.com/gp/new-releases/books/16672/ref=zg_b_hnr_16672_1
If it was 900 miles away I’d be in
905 miles fukkin’ out tho
Anyone end up in Hospital after being bashed by a local on that ill fated Red Bull trip to King Island?
A few wives got bashed in an erotic sense, so I’m told.
What happens at Egg Lagoon stays at Egg Lagoon.
Turned down my first MMF threesome there. Was afraid karma would make my little plane crash on the way home.
F-15?
The world was nice while it lasted.
Xox