Haz Bryant says, "The best beachbreak I've ever seen."
A little earlier today I was browsing the pages of reddit, examining various responses to the question: where’s the best, and cheapest, surf town to live?
A lot of pretty crummy responses, I thought, enough to give me that familiar scornful trembling of the nostrils: Maine, Humboldt County, Florida and so on, a result of the US-centric nature of the respondents.
Costa Rica swings in, which ain’t a bad choice, but no one hit on the obvious choice: Australia’s King Island. Here, a man can wear simple clothes, live off the land, eat many lobster pies from the bakery, surf with zero people in the water, taunt tourists with Great White stories, have little fires on the beach, drink himself to death or go mad from isolation all while being a short flight from the chaos of Melbourne.
Epic, yes?
And, if you’ll let me take you back four months, just listed, then, was 500 acres of beachfront land fronting wave made famous by Kelly Slater and for sale, then, for around one million American dollars.
That’s roughly, one mile long by a thousand yards wide.
The spiel was compelling. Build a mini-city of cabins, live off the proceeds.
“This property isn’t just about today’s escape — it’s about tomorrow’s vision. Whether you imagine building a substantial coastal residence (approved house plans have previously been held), expanding with additional eco-friendly cabins (STCA) or creating a pioneering eco-tourism venture, the sheer scale of this land allows you to dream big.”
A Tale of Sodom/Salo
As I wrote at the time, at the turn of the century I ran PR for Red Bull for an ill-fated big-wave event that promised so much, the greatest collection of big-wave surfers ever including RCJ, Peter Mel, Noah Johnson and so on, but delivered only the sort of carousing you might find in Salo or in the tale of Sodom.
I’ve never heard the words, “She wants a threesome” whispered into my ear so many times, the women purring like kettles on the boil although I left without one droplet of blood on my muzzle.
Subsequent trips to King Island by various surf medias revealed a stunning A-frame beach break called Marthas, which your new parcel of land fronts. Kelly Slater thrilled to it in 2001 and, recently-ish, John John Florence.
Harry Bryant went on a holiday there and said it was very cold but he had some of the best waves he’d ever seen in his brief-ish life.
Craig Anderson got Marthas real good.
Anyway, the land parcel has so far failed, even at the miserly sum of 900k American dollars.
Is this you?
Click to examine the parcel of land and off-grid tiny house.