“He grabbed my hair and held me underwater, and I didn’t know if I was going to make it.”
Way back at the tail end of August, a horror story emerged from foggy Morro Bay, up in California’s middle, about an enraged stand-up paddleboarder who was said to have attacked a female surfer with his oar. Andrew Eric Gustafson, 60 and a Morro local, was charged with two felony accounts of assault with a deadly weapon.
Days ago, the victim spoke for the first time at Gustafson’s preliminary court hearing.
Haylee Red-Van Rooyen laid the scene, declaring that Gustafson stroked into the zone where she and her friends were surfing, dropped in behind her and rammed her with his boat. After they both reemerged, Gustafson climbed aboard his vessel and chased Red-Van Rooyen, smacking her with his paddle and dunking her head underwater all while showering her with curse words.
“He proceeded to take about three waves and just in the middle of us, so we would have had to pull off the waves,” Red-Van Rooyen said from the witness stand. “And then on the third time, I was way down the line … and then he took the wave from behind me and came just tearing down the line, and then ran into the back of me and knocked me off the board.”
“I thought I was going to die,” she continued. “He grabbed my hair and held me underwater, and I didn’t know if I was going to make it.”
Gustafson’s lawyer Ilan Funke-Bilu argued, in front of the judge, that the charges should be dropped from felonies to misdemeanors, citing the rarely used “classic surfer versus paddleboarder” defense.
“I just think that this is the classic story of surfer versus paddleboarder,” Funke-Bilu said, sharing that California State Parks rangers first investigated the charges as a misdemeanor before bumping it up to attempted murder, according to the San Luis Obispo Tribune.
Judge Crystal Seiler appeared unmoved, though, opining, “It does appear to me that the offenses in the complaint have been committed, and there is sufficient cause to believe Mr. Gustafson is guilty of them.”
Gustafson wil be back in court on March 2 for his pre-trail arraignment.
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I’m certain there’s an opportunity here for a Tears For Fears cover band called Puddles For Paddles to capitalize on.
As a paddleboarder, he is automatically wrong, every time.
Anyone know when LOBs heat is coming up? Most of these “local pipe specialists” are that fucking average
Is there a Dutch colony in Morro Bay?
So calming to hear joes voice again.
Ridiculous knife Makana Pang. So toe edge
Guys a magician.
he looked left, faded right and launched, so ball out
Too bad it was a shallow tube, but he must have gotten a good score
“DJ sets at night, ripping up sets by day out at the Banzai Pipeline” Ditch the Saladbar. I don’t think I’ve got it in me anymore cunts
Kaipo-“He was in intensive scare”
Makana pang 8.5
Joey Johnson could be a giant killer in this comp
Pipe is on Chas!
No live chat? Wtf mate!?
Pipes on cunts. big and wobbly.
It also has Kaipo and Saladbar in the booth. Thats epic conditions for BG chat
High scoring heat from the local fellas
Improving though
Pipe live chat? It’s big
was that a 3rd reef washthrough? yikes.
And first wave of the day is a banger
Send out the girls!
Top ten worst of surfing-
1. Stand up paddle boarding
2. Foiling
3. Pack of Israeli’s anywhere
4. Pack of Brazilians anywhere
5. Alternative craft beginners
6. Pack of groms on the points
7. Pack of beginner chicks on the points
8. Midlengths on a pumping swell
9. Longboarders surfing the top of the point instead of the inside
10. Any Gopro on body, mouth, or board
Whatever happened to Beach Grit Listicles?
You forgot tow in foils
also electric SUP foils.
they are on my fuckin shit list.
at least the dudes with the mini tow boats fuck off out to sea most of the time.
5. Alternative craft beginners is a great pull. Can barely surf and already gooning out about some asymmetrical bonzer atrocity? Intolerable.
Worse, they show up in packs
All these legal cases should be thrown out any time someone busts out the “Classic” defence.
It’s a classic for a reason
Edit: I just read the article. Rack the cunt. What a fuckin knob. Incidentally, morro bay is one of the very few places I’ve surfed in north america. A lovely spot when the grey men are behaving themselves.
Rack him!!!!!
Whatever it takes to rid the planet of them.
I have noticed a substantial drop in sup numbers, round here anyway.
So that’s been encouraging!
i’m facing my 60’s with a metal hip and L2 fracture from a wipeout at Sandys in’89, SUP entered my mind for a bit but they are such tools I’ve decided that when I can’t pop up anymore I’m going back to spongeing!!!
They say you become a kneeboarder before you know you’re a kneeboarder
my knees don’t bend like that anymore
Use a shortboard instead of a bugger
Buddys first day back from knee surgery and he rode his smsll board on his belly. Got a decent tube too which he hasn’t done standing up in 20 years
Try a wooden alaia style board.. Fun fast and easy duck dives.
FWIW
Herman Melville provided a detailed description of a surfboard in his 1849 novel Mardi: and a Voyage Thither.
In the chapter titled “Rare Sport at Ohonoo,” he characterizes the board as an “indispensable” tool for the sport.
Melville’s specific physical description of the board includes:
Dimensions: Approximately five feet in length and the width of a man’s body. Tapered in length.
Shape: Convex on both sides and rounded at the ends.
Finish: Highly polished and invariably oiled after use to maintain its condition.
eff yeah i’m in on that