Three ambulances and twenty paramedics on the beach…
(Editor’s note: It’s since been revealed it was a drowning fatality at LHB and not another shark attack, although when you hear about three ambulances and a brace of paramedics on the beach, well, you, and everyone around you, does leap to that conclusion. Sources say the man was given CPR for one hour before being pronounced dead.)
Minutes ago, it’s believed a surfer was attacked by a shark at Ballina’s Lighthouse Beach, a six-hundred man-made metre stretch of sand between Shelley Beach and North Wall, created when sand pushed up against the training walls of the Richmond River there.
Conditions have been real ugly, five feet or so of onshore east swell for days with very little surfing action takin’ place, locals smart enough to stay out of the way of the myriad bull sharks and usual patrolling Great Whites.
Anyway, witnesses on the scene report three ambulances, twenty paramedics and four cops, which augers very poorly for whomever was hit.
Details as they emerge.
Ballina was the inspiration behind Monty Webber’s prophetic series about a little surf town that is forced to confront the real world effects of shark protection, the removal of shark nets and the obfuscation of public servants wildly out of their depth.
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So not a shark attack at all? Worth article….
punch that one away mick haha..
Gotta love a good sep
Sorry, I was trying to be cryptic. Do you live at Hat head?
Harrison Ford and flying know crash landings like chicken know waffles. No one gets hurts, and makes for a great story
It’s all coming mate, the kids just love American culture and we’re about 10 years away from Australians putting that pronunciation into widespread use.
It’s like a tsunami.
Soon we’ll have emoo moocus on the church poo near the ANZee bank.
Slice of paradise
edit: submit an article. You paint a written scene well.
edit to the edit: keep the anonymity, and submit it below the line
You two should get a room together.
Okay, you should submit an article too Barrelled. You’re so sensitive, sheesh.
How about that photo
i wear a fishing jersey with a hood and when s set comes i try and throw off the hood and catch the wave i’m certain i look like a complete clown
Was he as skilled landing single prop airplanes on golf courses?
Glad that it wasn’t another sharko.
This area needs a multi-year break from attacks. Do any of the Ballina locals surf with personal shark deterrents? Striped boards or sharkbanz?
Do you wear a hat on your head?
That’s gotta rank at the top of the letdown clickers baits. Props for the “update” Dez.
Rainbow or K’gari?
It would help for us seppos less familiar with Australian geography known-since-birth-ish (cause y’all’s toilets drain different) that perhaps Derek you could post a post pic inset or whatever such thingamajiggas are called, and assist out knowledge about where exactly you’re talking about. It’s probably just me, but I can’t be the only seppo who’d appreciate a little orientation to where assist.
Yeah, good point, Ballina is six hundred or so miles north of Sydney and half an hour’s drive south of Byron.
It’s ultimately not important. The east coast of Australia has around 5 beaches that are just copy and pasted across the whole coast. Doesn’t change until you get to Victoria.
There’s this thing called Google Maps.
I ain’t got time for that, nor Ghost of’s multilingual posts. I want it here, and clear.
Ballina, the locals pronounce it like it rhymes with Ballerina, you should say it like that if your ever there and want to try and fit in, they also love only being made relevant by their proximity to Byron, which they have a real affinity for
sounds like you want me to pronounce Ballina as Byron, so I can fit in even though I’m wearing a Trump 2028/2032 red T-shirt and a pair of stars and stripes pants you want no business getting a roundhouse kick from in.
Cool
As long as you get to go home to this every night! https://uploads.disquscdn.c…
Ha! Would you let her spot you at the gym?
Bad ass comment
https://uploads.disquscdn.c… This is what I’m envisioning
I’m wearing while you’re just envisioning. Catch up kid.
“Byron, which they have a real affinity for”
Sarcasm! 🙂
I cant find it in news feeds
We are the news feed! But, update, twas a drowned man.
So fake news, if you cant beat em…