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Mike Huckabee (bottom right per the usual) and family.
Mike Huckabee (bottom right per the usual) and family.

Surf fans giddily await the first surfer named “Huckabee” joining WSL Championship Tour

"I of course expect that you will want to name the little bugger after me!”

Eighteen-ish years might seem like a long time, but as any upper-middle-aged surf fan knows, it goes by in the blink of an eye. It seems like only yesterday that Mick Fanning won his first-of-three Association of Surfing Professionals trophies.

That lightning strike still tingling.

LIGHTNING STRIKES MICK FANNING 2007 WORLD TITLE

Bede “White Fijian” Durbidge’s Pipeline win, of that same year, as fresh in the memory as… whoever won last year.

Yes, time moves fast and before we all know it there will be a young man, or woman, with the first name “Huckabee” making his or her own Championship Tour debut.

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As the Iran War, or Ramadan War as its being billed in Iran, stretches into its fifth day, the prospect of a new forever war are brightening. U.S. President Donald J. Trump and his Sec. of War Party Pete Hegseth are very bullish on the business being wrapped up quickly, five-ish weeks tops, but who could forget when former U.S. President George W. Bush’s Sec. of Defense Donald Rumsfeld declared, “Five days or five weeks or five months, but it certainly isn’t going to last any longer than that…It won’t be a World War III,” ahead of the Iraq invasion back in 2002.

That operation lasted 20-odd years.

Trump, Hegseth et. al. continue to be bullish about Epic Fury, declaring the U.S. is “winning” though other reports suggest things might not be so rosy, The Islander Newspaper, for example, examining satellite footage shared by The New York Times and surmising that Iran has crippled U.S. communications across the region.

“Iran didn’t just strike US bases. It mapped the communication and coordination layer that makes American missile defense function as a unified system and then it peeled it apart, base by base, across five countries simultaneously. Thirty years of studying exactly how the American military machine sees, communicates, and coordinates and then, when the moment came, going straight for the eyes.”

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Oops.

Back to Huckabee, though. U.S. diplomatic staff across the Middle East are either being evacuated or told to shelter-in-place. The ambassador to Israel, Mike Huckabee, seeing a wonderful silver lining in the sulphur-filled skies for a baby boom. In a memo to staffers, the jolly fella informed them they will be spending extended time together and if that “results in the birth of your next child in about 9 months, I of course expect that you will want to name the little bugger after me!”

A no brainer.

Huckabee Jones 2043’s World Surf League Championship Tour Rookie of the Year?

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Huzzah.

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Nikola

Huckabee is an evil bastard

HaoleBoy

If there’s one thing that can bridge the divide between the two parties it’s war. They both are addicted to it.

deeks

Jesus fucken chriist what the actual fuck. I go to work one fucken day and miss a thread like this. Probably karma

Nonagon_Infinity
channelbottom

All this talk about badges..
I didn’t think I had any badges, ‘cept my own rusty sheriff’s badge.
Now I seem to have a ‘Gerry Lopez Softtop’ badge, which confuses the heck outta me.
Whatever.

@Dogsnuts
Want to finger my badge?

Chief Hot stuff

Hows Tom goin?
aint seen him round these parts lately.

channelbottom

Busy.
He got sick of all the shitfights on here a while back.

Chief Hot stuff

Fair enuff

BograilCutback

Fuck how good was 2007 Mick?

I remember thinking he was gonna win that year and everyone thought I was wrong.

Bummer to see him just turn into a real estate mogul. Can’t blame him however.

The Bitchy Crab

In Australia you’re either a property mogul or you’re on the bones of your ass. Up or down. Very American style society.

Chief Hot stuff

Not true.

Hippy

you guys follow US into every mess

BograilCutback

Our little cousin! We’re so proud <3

My impression was that people didn’t have to worry too hard about healthcare though and even the most “broke” person I’d meet could still fuck off for two weeks on short notice to Thailand. There’s all sorts but you’d know better than I would D. Wouldn’t you say y’all have a better deal on average than the typical seppo?

Italo Post Heat Interview

Aus and NZ are cooked. The dream is over. Unless your dream is warrnambool or ashburton

deeks

Or Crib point! Go cribby! Just keep your car locked at all times !

Skippy

Really really i miss dsas twas so out there but somehow comprehensible like if let your eyes unfocus for a bit you see more clearly

southern gold

Would it be fair to say that Huckabee was homeschooled?

Happy Camper

probably not. he graduated magna cum laude

Brutus

nah means ya just really old!

Brutus

or do ya wanna fuck……..my strayan cunt contribution!

Hippy

You may get banned mentioning the banned

Gwen Walz’s Eyes

If they ban Brutus I’m out

Hippy

wot?

Hippy

Real deal honor, you lived during free times and open pastures and explored with new eyes every discovery

@TheRealJackMeoff

Nah it’s just the badge for those of us with All-Timers disease…

Hippy

Did you earn your toxic badge this week?

Hippy

Such achievers here

@TheRealJackMeoff

Just yesterday!

deeks

Greazer

Barrelled

I just pretent those are a pair of pink bolt-ons.

Hippy

Yo Neggie

Did you have any idea that you could become an active post over badges?

Guys are melting down over your reflections of their participation…. grown men.

@surfads

If you’re wound too tight for the BG comment section, you’re wound too tight.

Gil Gunderson

Feels like a two bag of popcorn kinda day. Entertainment of the highest 😂

Barrelled

You call him Neggie again and he’s likely to ban you.

And I think your interpretation of meltdowns are actually jokes.

Hippy

thou protest too much

Barnycle

thou DOTH protest too much.

Hippy

Thank you Shakespeare

Brutus

do ya think Niggly is OK?

@TheRealJackMeoff

Maybe Negrotron?

Brutus

Nigglytron….???

@TheRealJackMeoff

Niggles?

Brutus

Ok here it is….Niggatron?

@TheRealJackMeoff

Mod Niggatron?

Derek Hynd's Missing Fins

MC, not Mod.

deeks

Noahtron…he departs the Cs

Chief Hot stuff

Ramadumb

FL Skunk Ape

There is a Ryan Huckabee on the QS. Just sayin…

John Smith

That’s who I thought this article was about.

Tom House

I dunno how these badge things work. Does a Tower 9 badge means someone wants to fight me?

Barrelled

Honestly, I don’t really know what it means but its pretty fucking funny. You can just turn it off in your Disqus account if you want.

Hippy

But your badges are so prestigious

pipspuss

I still have a newbie badge 2+ years in the Grit. Gonna have to ask Negs for something new.

Barrelled

I wouldn’t do that. He might give you a cats bumhole or a conferderate flag.

Nonagon_Infinity

Ha I got a newbie badge and been saying dumb shit here 10 years

Hippy

Just don’t drift up to Tower 10 Tom and you’re good

Tom House

I’ve seen lots of talk about “meet me at Tower 9” and wondered if it was a legendary meet-and-fight spot

Happy Camper

You ever see the film Highlander?
Tower 9 is where The Quickening happens…..for surfers.

“there can only be one”

@TheRealJackMeoff

In ottos mind.

Barnycle

One of the best parts about YouTube is all the classic surf movies on it. Almost all of the best, post-1990, are there.

Was watching a Taj interview last night and YouTube cued up the Volcom Psychic Migrations vid, which I’ve never seen before.

Gwen Walz’s Eyes

Epic Chile footage in there

Michael Flatlately

Might be back to scoring aerials by ’43 and ‘Huck-it’ Huckabee takes the Tour by force.

Negabitch

Banned, really? Getting soft Negs.

@TheRealJackMeoff

Not doing yourself any favors mate.
Should just chill so we can all enjoy your sunny side….

Negabitch

Didn’t know we were dealing with manopausal fun police.

@TheRealJackMeoff

While he can take the occasional jab, repeated harassment tends to rub him raw. I know this from personal experience. Plus like the rest of us sometimes have, he probably had domestic issues going on at the time.
Maybe a cranky partner, or unhappy client, who knows?
But he does have the power to regulate in here and when he gets so inclined he is not afraid to use it.
Just look at it this way, he was a WSL judge. They aren’t always fair, or logical, or consistent, but in the end their call is final, and too much whining about it just puts you in a permanent penalty box.
Just use Kolohe as an example.
Hope you are getting some waves homie, I am still down and out.

Barrelled

In the real world, he was just fucking around and messing with me all in good fun.

@TheRealJackMeoff

Just like WSL judges do to Chloe.

pipspuss

I didn’t know Negs used to be a judge.👍

@TheRealJackMeoff

Now you know!

Barrelled

Was he really though? Only place I’ve seen that claim is BG but nothing that I can find on the interweb.

NEGATRON

Thats a bit stalky. Never been a WSL judge either, don’t know where that one came from.

Hippy

Any Floridians in the house?

Most interesting dude shapes boards in Satellite Beach and is a QS judge. Man the stories. I just walked by, invited in and two hours later I left his shaping bay.

Barnycle

Florida stories can be the best stories.

You get the full spectrum of cunts. I’ve had legends such as Kechele roll through our parts and then shit cunts such as some dude named Roach who used to ride for Rusty and surf with the Hobgoods. Pro surfing Cunt.

Surfed one or two magical boards out of FL, as well.

Hippy

Gordo

Dude is a talk

Carves his own blanks out of a giant block of foam. ???

Such a good time, totally unexpected

Hippy

dude, he’s marrying a greek chick and I’ve been warning him for nearly a decade.

NEGATRON

Come on now, jokes go both ways.

Barrelled

Gotta give you that one.

Occy's Nostril

Legend Huckabee Longshank Florence.


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