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Black Knight of surfing Gabriel Medina
The one-time black knight of surfing, famous for his rain squalls of tears and thunderclap tantrums, the finger jabbing and those pretty black eyes wild and obsessed, is back.

Gabriel Medina issues ominous warning to competitors ahead of Bells Beach return

“I feel like I found myself again. Chill in the tummy but excited for what's to come."

The three-time world surf champ Gabriel Medina, long a thorn in the side of the WSL for his campaigns against white-on-brown racism and a judging panel that has only awarded eight of the last 12 world titles to Brazilians, has issued an ominous warning to competitors ahead of his long-awaited return.

Gabriel Medina, if you’ll recall, was forced to withdraw at the start of the 2025 season after a gruesome titty injury, the meat torn off the bone after a pretty standard wipeout on a head-high wave. 

Incredibly, and just before the wipeout, the world had nearly lost the once-in-a-generation talent after it was revealed Satanist pedophiles, including a recent deportee from the US, had planned bomb Lady Gaga’s historic concert on Rio de Janeiro’s Copacabana Beach, attended by over 2.1 million fans, including, yes, Gabriel Medina.

Gabriel Medina vs. Caio Ibelli - Round of 16, Heat 5 - Billabong Pipe Masters 2019

But, one year later, the one-time black knight of surfing, famous for his rain squalls of tears and thunderclap tantrums, the finger jabbing and those pretty black eyes wild and obsessed, is back.

“God is the way,” Medina wrote to his thirteen million followers alongside a carousel of deeply personal photos, including one where a mask is strapped to his face and delivering gases unknown.

“After 1 year of not competing, here we are. Chill in the tummy but excited for what’s to come. I feel like I found myself again. I’ve understood that what I’ve been through has brought me here, stronger, more aware, more me. Connected to my essence, that child who has this optimistic vision of life and the future.

“Life transformed me, and today I continue with purpose, knowing who I am and what I came to do. I keep trying to get better everyday, life is a constant evolution!

“It’s a fresh beginning. But this time, in full presence. Nothing else defines me but my own truth.” 

The post has been liked almost two hundred thousand times and generated fifteen-hundred comments, including from his newish girlfriend, the noted Brazilian dancer Isabella Arantes who expressed her love and confidence God would anoint her boy king again.

The 63rd Rip Curl Pro Bells Beach runs April 1 through 11.

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Gwen Walz’s Eyes

Cole

Gwen Walz’s Eyes

I truly love Gabe and was the first on a surf blog ( post surf 2009 ? ) to claim he would win a title.

But…. the San Clemente storm will rule 2026. Cole and Griff all the way!

Barnycle

I’m not the biggest fan, but I’ve grown to respect Griffin more and more over the last 2 seasons.

Make no mistake, he can be in with a shot of the title come the end of the season at Pipe. He’s a strong surfer and has very few weaknesses.

Local Sewage Pipe

I think Crosby is better at this point or will be soon. Check the new “code red” lowers clips, Cros is the shine.

j godfrey

Best to Understand , that this Biblical G-d (Torah,Tanakh, Paul’s New Testament)—spoken of—is just a jealous, revengeful blood sacrifice demigod. Go Deeper.

turts

Stories from the west? My dad worked for Bob Jones in the late 70s on his mullie boat in King George sound. He grew frustrated in spotting the school of fish, shooting the net around it only to find they’d missed the bulk of it. So what he’d do is when they would spot the school, he’d jump in with his mask and snorkel and swim with them. Old Bob would shoot the net around what was now an easily visible target and haul the lot in. He mentioned a few times off Michealmas island he’d be swimming in the centre of the school when almost instantly they’d just disappear, leaving him swimming alone in just his undies armed with only a dive knife screaming at the boat to come get him

NEGATRON

Bob Jones? The kiwi?

turts

Honestly have no idea, unless the same Bob ran a boat off dunsborough back in the day.

NEGATRON

Probably not then, pretty famous Kiwi. But also a fisherman.

NEGATRON

@disqus_g92orG7NDD:disqus our Bob Jones and one of his finest moments. https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=eyNt7C1TGPE

Barnycle

What a legendary clip.

Bob suffered no ….reporters……while fishing.

turts

What boat did you used to work on mister popsicle?

bob

Bexy already two loads deep as strangling out a third as we speak.

turts

Imagine being so self assured that you’d think god owes you another world title to your already over indulgent life

Blowin

Fuck…with a few world titles in his pocket, millions in the bank, movie star looks and a happy, healthy life , maybe God is in his corner?

Chief Hot stuff

Ever heard of positive thinking?

Huckleberry

Yep, god will push him to win . 🙄

Mapski

By “God” he means himself.

Barrelled

Don’t talk about Negs that way.

Dumb Florida Redneck

I’ll take “things a cunt would say” for 500 Alex.

Gil Gunderson

Child in the tummy? Oh… chill.

Barrelled

No JJF has to take a bit of wind out of Gabby’s sails .

Andy C

Hollow victory really

Barrelled

It has to be, right?

Andy C

Big fucken bold Asterix’

Barrelled

The French comic book?

Andy C

lol, fuck

Barnycle

Man, YouTube is really on some AI bullshit. Fuck all these tech companies.

I just searched “John Florence Done” because Dane reminded me, on his podcast, that I hadn’t seen that film, Done, for a while.

So, sure enough, the top hit is the film.

Wanna know what the second result, just below the original film, is? A month-old AI film with John and Kelly as the thumbnail and the film has ZERO views. Zero. Not even the bot who created the film watched it. Been up for a month and has no views.

Why the fuck would they try to ram this AI shit down our throats at every opportunity? Fuck those companies. If I could then I’d set a filter to not show me any videos made after 2024.

Barrelled

Deep breathes, everything will be okay.

Com Turren

but did you watch it?

Barnycle

Nope. Came for Done and will watch Done.

The only AI content I’ve ever willingly consumed was a 4 hour doc on Layne Staley (done in his own voice) and then some philosophy videos that you fall asleep to, with soothing, binaural tones in the background behind the narration. I knew practically nothing about Dostoevsky, where the first redhead-gene came from or what the real Jesus H. Christ (not the god one) was up to with his crew of merry men, 2000 years ago, before I started throwing them on while I nodded off.

Andy C
Beef & Beer

I’ve never put on a start of season bet for the end of year champ.

Until a few days ago when I put one on this guy.

Money in the bank…

Blowin

Save yourself some heartbreak and ditch the sports betting for political betting.

The odds of Australian LNP leader Sussan Ley getting the boot as conservative leader, was still paying $1.40 when she was shimmying about surrounded by Power Wymen in pastel pantsuits, calling Russia the USSR and polling at 12% amongst rusted on LNP tragics.

Returns were low margin for gambling but basically cemented in to the point that you’re not really gambling. Wall Street shits the bed when a company share price increase shows that kind of ROI. And propositions like that are 50/50. Better than risking Gabby Medina getting struck down by Monkeypox mid season.

NEGATRON

You wanna join our NZ WSL fantasy group Wes? $100 buy in. $100 back if you win an event and two custom Timmy Patterson boards up for grabs. Max 32 players

Beef & Beer

Yeah might as well
I’m in

NEGATRON

I’ll add you to the group on messenger. We still need a couple more heads so add anyone that’s a keen baller!

Beef & Beer

Okey dokey
Will do then

c4

Hate the new WSL fantasy update. Also searched for the Beachgrit club and found nothing.


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