"This goes out to all the entitled rich haoles! This is what the real"ALOHA SPIRIT" feels like! Yessah."
Yesterday, animal lovers from all around the world, but mostly within the precious Hawaiian ecosystem, reacted with heat after footage emerged of an “entitled haole” throwing a large rock at an endangered monk seal on Front Street there, deep in Lahaina’s burnt-out core.
The curious and playful monk seal, endangered as all hell and often described as the jesters of the sea or their playful nature, was toying with a piece of driftwood when the tourist threw the rock, a skilful lance that either hit or came close to belting the seal in the head.
Local officials described it as “the most incriminating footage we’ve ever seen.”
Hawaiians, never known for patiently absorbing the whims of tourists, particularly the white devil, issued multiple threats online and, now, if the video below is to be believed, the tourist got his lickens, as they say.
“Lickens” — or “lickins” — is Hawaii Pidgin for a beating. Specifically, the kind delivered with hands, not words. If someone in Hawaii tells you that you deserve lickens, they are not speaking metaphorically.
Hawaii Pidgin English — more formally called Hawaii Creole English — developed on the sugar and pineapple plantations of the 19th and early 20th centuries out of pure necessity. You had Hawaiian, Japanese, Chinese, Filipino, Portuguese and Anglo-American workers who shared no common language and needed to communicate with each other and with their bosses. What emerged was a functional creole that borrowed vocabulary and structure from all of them, flattened into something everyone could roughly understand.
“Lickens” traces bac to the standard English “licking,” which has meant a beating or thrashing in American and British English since at least the early 1800s — as in “I’ll give you a good licking.”
The former tour surfer Dustin Barca summed up the mood thus,
“Pfizer gonna patent that as a cure for the most dangerous disease in Hawaii, maybe even the world… E.H.S. (Entitled Haole Syndrome).”
Some questions.
Do you like the idea of a tongue lashing made physical, did rock-thrower deserve lickens or serious lickens and do you marvel at how easy it is to rile up a population, in general